So a year or two ago, one of the local play spots on FetLife hosted a chocolate wrestling night. I went participated, thoroughly enjoyed, and haven't seen an event like it since. Has anybody here had any success either attending or requesting similar events via fetlife?

No, but that sounds freaking awesome!! I imagine events like that are probably easier to plan at a place like a bar or something. That's how Soundguy got started years ago. I'm on some of the messy groups there, but it seems like we're all fairly spread out. Honestly, I don't see much on Fet in our area aside from munches, and 90% of it is just BDSM, pain, consent/nonconsent, etc type of groups.

Unfortunately Fetlife is all about the pay to see mechanic , I have an account but the sites pretty much dead for wammers. I could not even properly connect with anyone one there , every time I tried to reach out I would get the Donation window popup that blocked me from doing anything. Want to view this persons pics Donate first, Sweet video but to view it you got to donate. Want your pics and videos view able better hope the other people have donated, and you better too ect. The only message I ever got on there was from a random person wanting Hardcore sex , that's it. I have tried to message over a dozen people supposedly from my area, Not a single message was delivered. That's not saying they went without reply that's fetlife saying I cant send Dm's to anyone unless I donate. I gave up on posting content there, No views on any of it not the pics or video clips. Sites most likely great if you want to connect with other types of kink , and if you donate.

Honestly I find that fetlife has too much of the mainstream BDSM, and I'm totally not into that.

Even finding balloon and foot fetish is tough (I'm not into either, but I'll be way more willing to do balloon/feet for a woman than S&M stuff), and finding non-BDSM interests or partners has been a challenge for me.

I've also noticed though my interactions with most fetlife people don't really have a fetish. I know many WAMmers have a fetish, that means you literally cannot get aroused without WAM, and it's something that stays with you for life. On the other hand, almost everyone I've met on fetlife are more kinky and their interests change with time. For them, it's fun adult activities with S&M focus, like going hiking or watching a movie, but just more NSFW.

I'll give you an example on a discussion on lube wrestling that I had with a few fetlife people. Lube wrestling is probably borderline WAM. To them, they are looking for the primal action and they really dish it out. Dislocations are a high possibility if not done safely. Bruises definitely. Whereas for WAMmers, we couldn't care less about the wrestling, it's just an excuse to get messy. And I would be really really upset if I got hurt, and a bruise counts.

Also on fetlife, polyamory is mainstream, and that's not my preference.

To put it bluntly, as a monogamous/monogamish person who is not into S&M (I'm ok with B&D, but I have not seen anyone separate the two), I'm really a minority and haven't found anyone like myself. Many times I don't feel connected with the local BDSM community because of these reasons, there are just many core values that don't overlap well.

Damn. Was worth a shot lol. Thanks for the input though!

Are there other sites like Fetlife out there ?

Yuup. Bruises, and getting beaten to a pulp (according to some of the pics I've seen there) seem to be a pretty common kink there. I'm not exaggerating when I say a good 90% of Fetlife is about BDSM, power play, mind fucking, narcissism, and complete hypocrisy. BTW, I don't have any issue reading stories or viewing pics for free. It's only videos that are pay.

The big problem I have with "paying" on Fetlife is that you can't do paypal, epoch, ccbill, etc (at least last I checked). No, you have to give them your bank account number and routing number...sorry, FUCK THAT!

Also, finding people "nearby" seems to be quite difficult as most things/people are listed by kink. There are no filters for say "people within 30 miles of me". Also there are a LOT of people living in Antarctica it seems.

yeah the whole let me have accesses to your bank account is a BIG FUCK NO from me and yeah i had to laugh at the hundreds of users who live in Antarctica, like i said though tried to reach out to some people who are near me but it returned the messages saying I can't send DM's unless I donate. Not sure if that was a bug or not I didn't get any response from anyone when i reported it.

I just recently paid with gift cards... you can do that now and no one gets access to shit!

Hmm... weird. I've DMed friends there and stuff. You can look me up off my profile page and try and message me. If that doesn't work, try and friend me and then see if you can. I don't think I've ever messaged a random person unless it was in a friend request.

I have pretty much given up on that site , despite the number of issues i still tryed to post pics and videos there but they went months with no views so i figured it just wasn't a good site for wammers. Might give your suggestions a try but i'm not holding my breathe on it yielding any good connections.

Here's my side of the FetLife story:

I think it's amazing and I am beyond glad that I have found it.

When my wife and former wam partner's medical issues became serious about 12 years ago, we stopped all sexual activity - kinky or otherwise. My only outlet was self wamming and jerking off to the material I found through the umd.

Then I found out about FetLife, started a profile (feel free to check it out: https://fetlife.com/users/2215743) and while I didn't find any locals into pies or wam (one mud guy, a couple of candle wax enthusiasts, and that was it) I did venture out into the local kink community. I attended munches and events and found that the people I met were really great PEOPLE.

Yes, most of them are exclusively into BDSM kink. Most of the play parties and events are pretty much all about impact play, sub/dom, and rope play, but that doesn't mean that these folks are closed minded. I have met several people who were willing to try out my kink with me. Only a couple of them found it arousing, but everyone found it fun!

Check out the free pics on my profile there. All but the first couple are from scenes I have done with the kinky girls I have met on Fet over the last year and a bit.

Still think Fet isn't worth bothering with?

pi_pfreek, I don't disagree with you, and I have played with a few women from fetlife before.

I suppose it's what you're looking for that determines your outlook of fetlife.

I found that it's easier to find one-off play partners, but I'm really looking for something longer-term and more permanent/consistent, and that's what fetlife in my opinion is not good for us unless you are into BDSM too. The biggest roadblock I found is that I cannot 'reciprocate' to the women I meet, I cannot indulge in their kinks. It's hard to form a relationship, when you don't even have some overlapping interests with your kinky friends.

I find it wonderful that you were able to use the site at all , as I can't chat , friend or due anything at all on the site without the wonderful donation popup stopping me . Due you guys donate to the site and give them your bank account info? If I could use the site properly I'm sure it would be great but that is not the case so its still a Not worth it from me I'm not giving them my direct bank account access just so I can Potentially connect with another person, that price is too steep. And the way its set up hinders the new user anyway. Can't chat with anyone unless they ok it and you cant friend them unless you chat with them first or donate at least that's the conclusion I have arrived at haven't donated too see if it unlocks the site. And if you give them your bank account info , its a donation meaning you cannot refund it to get your money back you have to out write cancel it and there is no guarantee that they won't take more of your money the next time it comes around. There is a lot of wonderful loop holes with donations , its basically you give them money in the hopes they give you something in return, They don't have to give you anything at all so. Not all sites are honest and open about this. Not saying fetlife is scamming people but you have to be careful. Those are just my observations and interactions or lack there of with the site , I still posted some content there photos and videos but I don't believe anyone could even view them so its a lost cause to me.

I was invited to a femdom night where I was pied about 50 times. So it's possible, there are events out there.

While it's true fetlife is primarily traditional BDSM, WAM does complement it very well. The site has all the tools needed to build local communities, and in all honesty, if we ever want to develop a robust wam presence on fet, people like us have to spearhead it. It would take starting poorly attended splunches, and attending munches to get to know the greater communities.

@mrhop

I have never spent a dime on FetLIfe itself. The only thing i can't do is watch the videos posted on some people's profiles.

I have no idea why you can't view profiles, join groups, message, etc

Yeah I don't understand why it blocks me from doing anything either gave it one more chance sent a message to a person in my area if it gets returned saying i can not Dm people without donating then I'm deleting my fetlife account and being done with its bull shit.

I don't understand your comment about needing to pay to do anything on FetLife. The only thing I've found that requires a paid membership is viewing videos - everything else is totally accessible for free.

I don't understand your comment about needing to pay to do anything on FetLife. The only thing I've found that requires a paid membership is viewing videos - everything else is totally accessible for free.

what has been happening is when I try to view a picture or a post or someones profile I get a big Donation box that covers my screen and won't go away until i hit the back button on my browser . It blocks me from doing anything. "says Want to see more ? consider donating to Fetlife and you can see up to 200 percent more " ect. It takes up the whole screen and covers everything.

I get that, but only if I scroll down when looking at the "what's new" page. Might want to try Adblocker or uBlock Origin?

I use adblocker and it seems to be doing its job, not sure why the donation window keeps popping up its like its on a timer or something. I tried messaging someone on there no response so its what ever , I also uploaded some newer pics and a video but im not sure if they can be viewed. I guess I will just leave it be for now.

There's was a paint party in Toronto over the winter.

I was able to rsvp for a local event just a casual meet at a bar , I went and had a good time chatting with people.

Bambi who I have an album of being pied and gunged contacted ME through Fetlife outlining how she'd love to try.

There is the odd win out there!

Fetlife is more bdsm. Hardly any WAm or related. Now I have used 'Doublelist' with some limited success for feet-related interests. It's only presently available in the US I believe. It's more like a remake of the old Craigslist Personals than anything else. A bit of everything. You have to register but they don't charge you and they don't spam you and you can control which e-mail to use for contacts/privacy. .

I have an account on fetlife. Matty_chuck is my username and I have my pie pics on there. I don't have access to them anymore to repost them on here instead.