Well, I thought I would share the little problem me and the wife have at this very moment as we look at our newly decorated kitchen.

We have both returned from a few days away with work doing a site visit. Whilst we have been away the wife's parents kindly offered to stop over and to decorate the kitchen. The father in law is most skilled at wall papering and they always want to offer their assistance so this task has always been his..........

We have had the wall paper for over 12 months but no paste etc so it was explained that they need to obtain this from the local town but we have every else in stock.

We returned last night to a newly decorated kitchen......and this is when we realised what a fucking disaster we have on our hands!!!

So,

we ask how has it gone on,

Its been a bit of a bastard due to the paste

Why is that

we think it has gone off

why did you not take it back to the shops

we found it in one of the out buildings.....................oh fuck!

what did you find

a large bag with wall paper paste in a bucket with a brush and drill mixer.

(that is not wall paper paste that is raw uncoloured Xanthan gunge powder with a brush to cover her in to give the shiny slippery look when she is rubbered up!!!!!!!!!)

wife's facial expression to my face translated. How the frigging hell do we explain this?

My facial expression to wife, we don't..... just smile.

how bad was this wall paper paste?

very bad it would not mix but luckily we found a the drill mixer with the bucket

oh, did it stick the wall paper

yes but it was incredible sticky and it kept falling off

oh it must have been out of date

fuck fuck fuck fuck...........

later at the dinner table wife's mother asks the wife......did not realise you did scuba divng you were always scared of the water.

what do you mean says the wife

I found all of your dive gear, its all very black ....could you not have chosen a more colourful wetsuits etc

At which point I nearly choke...

so long story short we have a kitchen that has some how been wall papered with xathan gunge powder and I assume at some point it is going to go very mouldy, the wife apparently is a very active scuba diver and now the rest of the family know

I am sure there is some sort of moral to the story but at the moment we are just looking at each other just laughing, oh and a potentially frigged kitchen!

I wonder what other disasters have happened to fellow sploshers!!

I unfortunately think that your wallpaper may be stylishly on the floor in a few weeks

My mum came to stay a good few years ago. She decided (as Mum's do) to clean my house while I was at work. I had already hidden the 'boxes' of sex toys and outfits.

I get home to find that she has found my boxes of schoolgirl, nurse, fairy (don't ask), slutty undies, cheerleader, etc outfits on top of the wardrobe.
'I didn't know you went to fancy dress parties?'.... yes mum. The stains are ice cream (and in no way cum)

To this day I don't know if she looked in the box behind the clothes which had butt plugs, vibrators, nipple clamps, cuffs, rope, anal hook etc

I then find she has been in the garage and decided to fill our recycling bin with all the cardboard that Steve has saved. He uses it for templates for his projects.
'You sure eat a lot of Ready Brek porridge and jam, there are loads of empty boxes in the garage, along with loads of jam jars'. Yep, love the stuff mum (but not in my mouth)

Finally my dad asks how you turn on the fan above the shower. 'Oh it's broken'.... Yea.... that's actually a gunge tank in the loft with a fake grille over it in my shower

Don't leave parents in your house alone....

Tara xx

More than likely, that Wallpaper will need to come down and the walls stripped and cleaned before you redo it all.

I know these weren't ideal situations to come home to, but thank you both for sharing these stories.

It's just good to be aware of just how "helpful" people can be when they have no concept or frame of reference of your private lives.

Omg these are horrible. I am wondering what we are going to have to say when my daughter shows grandma the closet we have full of prom dresses. Not looking forward to explaining that one. Then the entire dresser filled with slutty clothes not to mention air tight bins for storing slime, pudding mix, and pie tins.

Locked cabinets?

On a happier note, a quick internet search disclosed that many wallpaper pastes actually contain xanthan gum, so maybe all is not lost...

My friend with benefits and I enjoy a lot of shaving cream play. I happened to leave a can of Barbisol in her master bath once.
Her 21 yo son, who is slightly autistic, came home and found it (He's very nosy).
He's now convinced his mother has to occasionally shave her face.
I didn't make that suggestion,, she came up with it in a panic for a way to explain.

Every home should have one.

Fortunately, my parents lived to the ends of their lives without discovering my WAM interests. The latter day 'threat' comes more from one's children - especially once they become ostensibly 'grown up' and start to come and go as they please (who knew that would happen?). There can be no guarantee that they will remain safely where they are supposed to be - like in a former spouses' custody for a specified period.

In a way, I find the best policy is 'hiding in plain sight' wherever possible. As far as kinks go, WAM is actually an incredibly obscure one in the scheme of things and even when presented with evidence it doesn't necessarily make any sense to the uninitiated. It baffles rather than shocks. (Obviously alibis for role play costumes and sex toys are scant although they are, I guess, more 'conventional' now in most adults' frames of reference and I dare say more widespread than most would care to admit!)

I built a fully functioning WAM video studio in the home I shared with the former Mrs Trouso complete with stage, shower and floor drain to deal with the ever increasing excesses of the shoots in terms of volumes of liquid and slurry. As I'm broadly a creative person for a living in a very practical sense (I always have a machine workshop and some form of studio at any given time) so in my life WAM facilities can be effectively lost within the nebulous idea of an 'art' studio and filled with junk when not in use.

A few times friends or relatives would be round for dinner and a shortage of flour or sugar, treacle or other food stuff would be remedied by a trip to the studio where I 'explained' we bulk bought and stored it there.

Unless you run an industrial bakery, however, making mostly Parkin there's no justification for keeping half a dozen 7.5kg cans of black treacle in store!

This is awesome and surely worth its own thread. Do you have pictures? Did it take long to construct? Did it work out well in practice?

It is awesome! My hubby is a very clever man.

Our loft has an easy ladder on the landing (just outside the bathroom)... you simply drop the ladder down and take your 'gunge' up and fill the plastic tank.
Its a re-purposed, heavy duty, clear plastic storage box I think (it has a clip-on lid). I seem to remember Steve cutting the bottom out and adding a fibreglass 'funnel' part he made.

It sits on a timber frame he built and has a bottomless cardboard 'packing box' placed over it when not used (so it's not obvious if anyone goes in the loft).

I remove the fake fan grille over my shower and we are ready to go! The grille is magnetic.

Then, I stand in my shower (or sit... depending on what I am doing ) and then I get gunged in one of 3 ways....

I have a keyfob with 3 buttons on it.

Button A = instant gunge

Button B starts a timer (you hear a 'beep' from the loft). Then randomly in the next 10 minutes, it releases all the goo. I can adjust that time if I want 2-30 minutes with a dial in the loft.
It beeps every second while counting.... I get SO WET when it's ticking away and I am underneath

Button C stops the timer and will also stop the goo 'mid flow'. I can restart it with button A.

Steve also has an App on his phone where he can release the goo remotely. Only ever done that once. I set my phone up on a stool and we Face-timed while he was working away.

Anyway... I appear to have hijacked this thread. Very sorry original poster!!

Maybe Steve can post some pics

Tara xxx

Incredible! I'm sure a few of us would be interested to see those pictures and would think it worth it's own thread