well a year ago I didn't think I'd be here but here I am in a brilliant Christmas custom ordered by one of my favourite customer's Sven from Germany!
I play the glamourpuss but prissy daytime tv presenter Jessica Messington and I'm dressed in a cute Christmas woolly hoodie,a black skirt,barely black Nylons and beautiful black snakeskin stiletto high heels with a cutaway front so you can see my pretty toes are painted bright red through the sheer Nylon!
I present the fashion feature on different party strappy sandals and I try them all on.
However I'm getting worrying news in my earpiece that Gordon Oliver,our chef for the Messy Morning Show hasn't arrived for the cookery section!
As my 'feet'ure ends I'm told I have to do the cookery section.
I'm not happy but I arrogantly say I could do that section with my hands tied!
Sven the director soon has me sat with all the cooking ingredients and has ordered that my hands be tied in front of me if I think the section is so easy!
In reality I'm really nervous and I don't want any mess on me!
However I find it difficult to get on with the task in hand with my hands tied and I spill a bit of flour and then spill the expensive wine Sven has brought in!
I'm complaining and Mike the Floor Manager asks if he can get something to cheer me up.
I ask for a bunch of flowers!
Sven is annoyed with me though and tells the Floor Manager to hit me with a bunch of flour (a lot of flour!) and to drench me with heavily staining red wine that turns the flour into a gooey mess!
We meet Frank Furter and the Christmas Reindeer (really a pervert moose puppet I've encountered before!) as $100 worth of ingredients are poured over me including an incredible barrage of puddings like semolina,rice pudding thrown at very close range straight into my face!
I get a circus style clowns hat full of shaving foam that squirts foam upwards as it's squashed onto my head!
What a really brutal gunging this is!
I get a real whipped cream pie thrown at me and more wine and beans and everything!
I'm completely trashed and just want to go home!
However there is more to come as I get a visually amazing load of melted milk chocolate is poured artistically over me slowly,totally covering my head and face and hiding the layers of previous mess.
Then amazingly I get a Lot of black treacle pouring over me that hides the chocolate!
It is then revealed to me I've been sacked and the whole crew wanted to humiliate me!
I'm shocked!
We then rejoin me in the shower as I struggle to get the gooey flour and treacle etc off me and my clothes.
I find out it's all been yet another prank by that Sven!
I'm not sacked and the cheeky German director wants all my clothes sending to him so he can show everyone when he tells them about how he tricked me!
Love you, too
