Anyone who lives in Scotland will have heard of a blackening. It's when a bride and groom are taken away and covered in all matter of messy and foul mixtures to "celebrate" their impending marriage. It's an old tradition in the North of Scotland.

Now I, at my age, am hardly likely to get married now, or anytime in the near future(!), but don't want to miss one out on my messy bucket list.

Would anyone/people out there be willing to oblige me?
Nothing would be off-limit in terms of messy stuff.

TOTALLY humiliate me!