I have been attracted to mud since I can remember. I was always in or around mud 365 days a year. When I was in school we read a book it was yellow called word play. In it there was a short story of a girl pig who wanted to compete in the muddiest pig competition. It was a contest where "nude" pigs would enter an area and have X amount of minutes to become as muddy as possible.

My fantasy is I am completely rich. I hold an event called mud. In this event I invite 15 gorgeous women to get completely naked and see how muddy they can get. I walk in to a room where there's food and wine before the event. Some of the women are smoking. I walk in completely nude as I am the referee and get several hugs from the women. I introduce the rules. They are inspected for any dirt on there bodies before entering the area of soft dirt. Each lady is given 15 gallons of water to make her mud. The buzzer goes off and the women get down and dirty after 3 minutes goes by I blow a whistle and inspect for the muddiest woman. When I find her I get a,giant hug and kiss and she walks away with 1 million dollars