I do this from time to time but feel the need to do it again....

For those of you afraid to tell your loved ones or partners about your fetish, don't be. I have been back dating women for a while since my gf and I broke up in December and with everyone I have dated since, my fetish for pies in the face and fully clothed showers have been a part of the conversation. Not as a main part of the conversation but rather part of it not overdoing it. Every woman I brought it up to has been supportive and none have hung the phone up on me, left me at a restaurant, got up out of bed and left me, etc. Did some laugh at me? Yeah, because it is funny and surreal. Don't let that crush you. That isn't the end of the conversartion but rather the start.

They all ask me why does it turn me on? That is a question all of you should ask if you have kept it a secret from your partner. You should be able to articulate it to them. It feels liberating to explain why shiny wet jeans turn me on or why pie crust with gloopy cream falls off a woman's face and lands on their jeans means so much to me. You know what? I found it's not about objectifying women. When I explain it to them, they get it. They see what it means to me. They want me to be happy is the root of it all so they are willing to atleast try it.

Something else to consider. Your partner generally really wants to have you excited when it comes to intimacy. If they knew that what really turned you on was too secretive to share and you don't trust how they would react, they would probably be crushed. Especially if you are married, nothing should be off the table.
If they are not interested in doing it, they won't leave you over that. Be proud of your fetish! There are a lot more hurtful, painful and difficult fetishes than this. Look at it as playful.

The gf I had until December was with me for 3 years. She was doubtful at first and I didn't press it. Then one day, someone on television got a pie in their face. She said to me, "I bet you'd love to do that to her." and my response was, "No, I would like to do that to YOU and for you to do that to me. It's about sharing my love of it with you." She immediately got it. She wanted us to find a pie literally at that moment. It was late in the eveninng but everytime she would visit (she lived in another state) she asked me about if we had any pie. Finally, I smeared a big banana cream pie in her face and the crust on her face, smooshed it further on her clothed body. She smiled with it on her and slowly wiped it the pie out of her eyes with her long red fingernails. I poured pie down her sequined studded jeans and we fucked like crazy. I ate her pie with pie all over it and I could clearly see, it was the best she ever had. She loved it and ever brought it up once to me after we broke up. Then we showered in our clothes which we did on a regular basis anyway.

I can give more examples or answer questions if anyone is interested. I just feel so happy that I am not afraid of this in my love life that I dont want others to miss out. Just so this is worth your while, I have included pics of my favorite pie session I did. This was a friend who I was honest with about pie and wet jeans fetish. She literally said lets do it right now and I got pie at the store right then and there . As you can tell from her outfit, it was an outfit that she wasn't expecting to get pied or soaked in. It was truly a magical day.

It's easy when it's pies.

What difference does it makes?

Your partner will find out about WAM eventually, so it is better to be candid about it.

It would probably be more accurate to say "it's easy when it doesn't involve humiliation and extreme substances." I've never had any trouble getting people to roll in the mud for example, or have their clothes filled with food. But Scroggle is the power behind the "Human Garbage Disposal" series that Messygirl did, which involves rather more in the way of humilation and degradation for the recipient. Which is fine is said recipient is willingly consenting, but probably a bit harder to introduce to a partner than a sweet pie in the face, custard down their dress, or a fully clothed shower.

I do agree with the OP completely, in any serious relationship, absolute truth is the only real way to build a relationship. Secrets are the corrosive enemy of trust, and trust is what you build relationships on.

I started seeing someone in January, and I have brought it up, what I like we have done a couple little bits nothing major but it's a start, I think important not to go all in and scare someone off so slowly building up to bigger things maybe but if it doesn't happen hey ho.. I've had partners in past do stuff so I can't complain more to life I think maybe ..

Explaining why you like seeing women pied or wet is pretty easy or tame.

Explaining the enjoyment and humiliation aspect of it is a whole 'nother ball game. 80% sure most Western women won't like the sound of you getting off to women getting their 'comeuppance' or being degraded and humiliated.

Unless shes into it herself of comes from the BDSM/shadow world or something.

I get that men are afraid to be abusive towards women and I appreciate that a lot, but we are not fragile creatures and you can trust us not to get offended by kink. There are a lot of kinky women in the western world who enjoy BDSM and humiliation play. It really has more to do with your social sphere that depends on how kinky the people are that you'll come across. If you're living a more conventional life, you're going to be surrounded by more conventional people, and their social norms may dominate what kind of person you're accustomed to meeting. Being able to go outside of your comfort zone to meet different people who would be more open to it will help a lot. And if the woman you're dating doesn't get it or understand it, then that's something you need to talk to her about as well. Communication is singlehandedly the most important part of a successful relationship. Not even love is more important than being able to communicate and be understood by your partner or sexual partner. And trust is even more important than communication, you have to be able to trust your sexual partner in every way, so honesty is important.

I love the purpose of this post and I really support the general message. The only objection I have here is that it's not always as simple as meeting someone who is open to kink or all types of kink. You can look for partners online, but you're not always guaranteed to meet someone in your city or anywhere close to you. A lot of people still meet offline. It's so easy to get absorbed by the internet and live in this realm of kink. But stepping away from the internet, you're not surrounded by the same people, and you're not in a community where sex and kink is a focus, in fact, it's taboo. A lot of people are not as sexually oriented and you may meet someone you have incredible chemistry with in every way but this one thing. It might be a real boundary for them they cannot change for you. So it can be complicated for others to find a partner to share this with because they may already have the partner they love and want to be with who just doesn't want to do it. Or someone may live in an area where resources to meet the kind of people they could be happy with are more limited, or they live remotely and long distance dating is the only option and that can get difficult at times. For those who have difficulty finding that partner, we have our community here to share with all of you

Yeah, definitely a Pro Tip: Start small. Never, ever open the relationship with something like the Human Garbage Disposal.

But that is the point of this post. None of the women I have met cared about kink or ever thought of it. What made them want to try is that it would be something that made me happy. I've been honest to them that humiliation is involved and often roleplaying. They enjoy it; especially roleplaying. In fact, one confided in me she wanted a fantasy roleplay that I wasn't sure I was too comfortable with but we did it. She LOVED it.

To say that "80% sure most Western women won't like the sound of you getting off to women getting their 'comeuppance' or being degraded and humiliated." in my experience is simply not true. Granted I don't take it to extremes, they always know they are safe with me and we can stop at anytime if they've had enough. No questions asked even if they're are multiple pies left. If that is the only way you'd do it with someone is by only going to extremes, that is where we respectfully differ. I live with the idea that if I don't ask, then I won't get.

I do recognize that pie in the face fetish is "tamer" than some of the other fetishes on here. Even at that though, when I wrote the post, I know that a number of people have posted in the past that they wish their gf or wife were into receiving pies but were too afraid to bring it up. All I am saying is bring it up!

Oh my God ^THIS^ I have never met someone outside here who was either interested in this, or didn't find it incredibly stupid, wasteful, think I was a freak, etc. A lot of people (at least on the surface) are very defensive, especially about sex.

Also, as we get older, you'll find less and less people have strong sexual impulses or orientation (it's not they don't exist, it's just math, drive eventually diminishes)

My ex accepted this part of me and even tried it a couple times, but absolutely hated it every time and formed a boundary that they would never do it again. That and a few other things that occurred and we called off a 20 year relationship.

WAM aside, sex is very important for me. And I haven't found anyone, because the people I meet really don't want sex, and that's a red flag for me. So, I've had to come to the accept the possibility that paid sessions just might be it for me.

I'm not saying this do dissuade anyone, the communication IS necessary if you want this or really anything in your life/relationship. Just with all things, you have to be prepared for an answer you don't necessarily want to hear. And then you have to either find a compromise that suits you, or maybe you both need to consider going your separate ways.

Life is too short, and you owe it to yourself to live your best, happiest, and most meaningful life. Take the leap, it's liberating. And if you get the answer you don't want, try to see the positive in it. Take what you learned and use it to make an informed decision on where you want to be and if you want to be there with that person.

I learned this far too late. It doesn't mean hope is lost either, but I'll never get that time back.

If you feel safe (i.e. privacy-wise) coming out early, do it. That's worked for me. Not a first date thing but maybe after the first 3-4 times in bed. It's part of who you are sexually, so I think it's disingenuous not to share it with a partner you trust.

My first partner was into BDSM as a bottom so that made it easy. I'll never forget her reaction when I asked if she'd do it: "are you kidding me? I get to be covered in dessert?" It turned out to be not exactly the match I dreamed it would be, partially because I wasn't a very good at reciprocating with her kink. "You deserve to be spanked? That hardly seems warranted." I kid but you get the idea.