UMD Blogs


You know you're a wammer when
By MogAnarchyx
Posted 2/12/17     767 views
You know you're a WAMmer when...

You own a stack of B&Q orange buckets, despite never washing cars or doing garden work...
You own a vast amount of paper plates, despite rarely holding a buffet...
You buy massive quantities of shaving foam, despite using an electric razor...
You can't walk down the home baking aisle in your local supermarket without spending a fortune...
You get disappointed when you overhear someone talking about WHAM! - and then you find out it's just the 80s band...
You're forever washing swimsuits and towels, despite never visiting your local pool...
Reduced baked goods are a goldmine!
A lot of people claim to love the smell of gasoline - you love the smell of poster paint, custard and aerosol propellant...
It is perfectly acceptable to buy a trolley full of custard, rice pudding, baked beans and soup, despite there being no flood or hurricane warnings in your area...
You own several paddling pools and inflatables, but you don't have any children...
You jump at the chance to play football on your local field if it's been raining...
Anything can become a WAM prop once you put your mind to it - you're more innovative in the kitchen than a chef...
You buy a lot of dust sheets, despite not decorating your house in five years...
You buy tons of wallpaper paste, despite only having painted walls in your house...
You're more meticulous at cleaning a hotel bathroom than a serial killer...
You begin a first date by asking them what gungey kids programmes they liked when they were younger...
You're not jealous of people with big houses or cars - you're jealous of people who own their own gunge tanks, dunk tanks and pillory stocks...
You're an expert at removing suspicious stains from white clothes...
You live your day to day life wishing you could be ambushed by that clown who pied people as a prank on YouTube...
You regularly take fully clothed baths and showers...
You own a hosepipe, but don't grow any plants in your garden...
You laugh in the face of people who claim shaving foam pies would sting your eyes; when you know full well cream stings more...
The summer sections at Poundland are an Aladdin's Cave - water balloons, goggles, outdoor games and more!
Your bathroom is not a place to get yourself clean; but a place to get yourself even dirtier than before you entered...
You hate winter, but not due to seasonal affective disorder; it's because it's too damn cold to get gunged in your garden...
Conversely, summer is not a time to tan or visit the beach; it's a time to fill your paddling pool full of goop and dive right in...

And of course; you visit UMD to find people just like yourself!
Tagged n/a
Comments:
deepblue:
2/14/19
  Report
Love this post! I can totally relate
MSMystique:
4/22/19
  Report
Yes to all of that!
MogAnarchy's blog & storiesFollowpostAll blogs
Share this on TwitterShare this on FacebookShare this on Reddit


Design & Code ©1998-2024 Loverbuns, LLC     2257 Statement      Epoch Billing Support      Log In