I'm not referring to the stray hand of another gender wandering into the frame as the sole indicator of both genders, I'm referring to content versus intent.

Occasionally a thread will be tagged as Co-Ed rightfully so because of its content. But it's apparent from the text that the author's intent was to exclude people (usually gay males) from participating in the post. If you see a co-ed thread that is disgusted by or apologizing for the presence of men, it is obvious that the author tagged it as female but because of the male presence it was tagged as co-ed. However, the effusive apologizing for guys, vomit emojis, etc. are all attempts to prevent gay men from posting.

When I first joined UMD I did so as an observer. It was all heterosexual, female WAM but there was so little male content on the web at that time, let alone well curated, that I would use it as a resource. Never stayed long though because it was apparent that if you ever had a gay thought in your life you weren't allowed. I've never seen so much anger over a penis in my life. I don't know when UMD became gay friendly. I missed the change but was grateful for it. But people don't change overnight. Just because guys can't say 'fag' anymore doesn't mean the underlying feelings have changed.

There's definitely still homophobia around here. Just check out the 'jokes' in the Latin American game show threads, or some of the responses to 'Am I the Only One?' thread. I just don't get it. I don't want to have sex with women but I am not going to freak out if I hear someone discussing them. And if I don't like it, I'll just leave. Not go out of my way to announce to people who didn't even ask that I don't like it. But I wasn't raised with that kind of hate or entitlement in my life.

There are many great, general WAM topic conversations that occur on the Female Wam forum but I get that because they were posted on that side, my participation is not wanted.

Sorry, just some rambling. Sometimes it's a little mud in the eye to be reminded in a fetish space like UMD that your presence is not wanted.