So this blog post is a bit of an experimental discussion (not a retelling of a real life scene). The truth is I absolutely hate writing blog posts. When it comes to writing I much prefer to craft an epic fantasy or sci-fi story or dish out some erotica than to write a blog post. For the most part I generally avoid social media as my dyspraxia gives me a chronically slow typing speed that are to the world Instant Messenger chats that speech impediments are to conversation. If absolutely pressed into communicating in text I do better with longer more considered posts which you might think would lend itself well to blog posts but in truth the lopsided nature of the medium means there's the always present danger of becoming the online equivalent of the bore who can only talk about themselves in a conversation.

Given that I'd much prefer to spend my time engaging in genuine conversation and joviality with people in real life than promoting a blog or social media presence to build an audience of followers this hasn't been an issue for me HOWEVER having recently returned to the online WAM/Sploshing scene after a period of exploration I realised that I am now much more secure and comfortable about sploshing, kinks and many other related issues than I was when I was last active in the community. As such it is reasonable to assume that there may be people in the forum who are still struggling with some of the questions that I once did and so with this blog I'm hoping I might be able to do a deep dive on various issues and lay out what answers I found helpful in the hopes that they are helpful for others. The answers that worked for me may not necessarily work for everyone but if they help some people it will have served its purpose. But as I say this is a bit of an experiment depending on how well this post is received, I might try to tackle a different aspect of sploshing/kink/any questions left in the comments with a monthly blog post, if however it seems the post wasn't that helpful to anyone I will happily spend more time worldbuilding for my latest story.

So if we're going to experiment let's at least do it properly and not do things by half measure. Let's start with a deep dive examination into erotic humiliation. Whether you might be wondering what it might say about you that you want someone to cover you in the lumpiest, smelliest, vilest slimes you can think of or you are trying to understand the seeming paradox of why your preferred reaction from a gunging is that the recipient both enjoys it and seems a little humiliated by it then this post is for you.

"So tell me, what is it that you truly desire?" Some of you may recognise this as the catchphrase of Lucifer Morningstar from the show Lucifer in which the devil on Earth attempts to solve crimes. For those that haven't seen the show Lucifer's signature ability is that upon uttering these words Lucifer is able to compel people to say aloud their deepest desires which the show uses this to reveal motives, red herrings and comic relief. The fact that being able to compel people to reveal their desires is accepted as a legitimate superpower by the audience because we accept the premise that the vast majority of us do suppress and keep many of our desires a secret. If we didn't believe this to be the case and instead that everyone was open about their desires then a show trying to tell us the opposite, even a fantasy one involving a crime-solving devil, would find they are pushing an audience's willingness to suspend disbelief too far.

But why do we hide away many of our desires? Well as a social species we all have an overriding desire to be accepted by, find belonging and ultimately be loved by others. As we develop we internalise the rules, customs and knowledge of what our cultures find desirable and acceptable. Any personal desires we may have that seem incompatible with what our culture finds desirable risks the possibility of being rejected or suppressed by ourselves in an effort to fit in. Even amongst those who are less invested in fitting in with mainstream culture are aware that they may need to hide many desires they have as political and religious extremists who have a keyboard, an internet connection and a belief they're entitled to stick their nose in other people's business who are just waiting to condemn and make their life hell for it. And that is if they're lucky to live in a liberal democracy, there are plenty of authoritarian countries in which disagreeing with the state approved dogma might result in a death sentence.

Regardless of whether it is an effort to find belonging in society or to protect oneself from the intolerant or even a little of both the result is the same. We create a duality within ourselves. On one side we have all of our desires and our less socially desirable traits that we have rejected that the likes of Carl Jung would term our Shadow and on the other we have our social selves that are composed of those traits that present us in the best light in which we wish to present ourselves to society.

Now whilst I have detailed how society may find some personal desires to be socially undesirable it is important to clarify that that does not mean those desires are unethical or immoral. This post will be long enough as it is without adding a moral philosophy debate on top of it so to keep things short I'll just numerically list the relevant points:
1. The idea something is right because most people agree on the point is an argumentum ad populum fallacy.
2. Societies have repeatedly throughout history have had many immoral and unethical practices accepted by large proportions of their populations. Take your pick from slavery, torture, persecuting such different group or some other scumbag practice and you can find multiple countries and religions that at some point enthusiastically supported it.
3. Your desires regardless of what they are have no intrinsic positive or negative moral value. You do not get to choose what your desires are. Indeed, given our social need to be accepted by others, nobody if they had the choice would choose to have a desire that would make it harder to get that acceptance.
4. Whilst your desires by virtue of the fact you can't choose them are amoral, you are responsible for how you act upon them. If anyone harbours any desires that might cause lasting harm to others or that involve others that can't give consent (ie. Proclivities with animals, children etc) then you would be responsible for acting on them or failing to seek help from a professional to control your urges. You have a moral imperative to seek professional help to get it under control before you do something harmful and unethical.
5. For the vast majority of people however their desires can be pursued with consenting adults. Provided all participants are consenting, honest with each other and cause no lasting harm to each other it is frankly nobody else's business what they get up to.
6. Society is ambivalent to whether you're happy or not so don't expect it to have your best interests at heart with what it considers desirable and undesirable.

To illustrate how perfectly innocent desires can be rejected by our social selves I'm going to briefly ask you to think of a piece of non-erotic media that you would consider to be a "guilty pleasure," that you at some point would hesitate to admit to friends. For most people this is likely to be some earworm outside the genre of music they know is popular amongst their friend circles. Perhaps you all enjoy heavy metal and rock music but when home alone in the shower you feel an urge to blast out your own rendition of Katy Perry's "Roar." Whether it is a song, tv show, movie, book or game many of us have something we absolutely thoroughly enjoy that for the sake of avoiding the expected ridicule from our social circles we may be less willing to admit to.

And it is here that we get our first glimpse into the inner workings of erotic humiliation it is something that part of us really wants and enjoys that our social selves would not want to admit to. Indeed it is the deep seated fear of ostracization and humiliation of our social selves that explains why erotic humiliation is very easily misunderstood. For when our social selves think of such things occurring to them or inflicting the same on others they are horrified by the thought. With so much communication taking place between people's social selves it is natural that people's first reaction is to think of it through the eyes of their social selves and think it an act of cruelty.

However erotic humiliation is not for the benefit of our social selves but is something that the recipient very much secretly desires. Consider for the moment a BDSM scene involving erotic humiliation regardless of whether the practitioners subscribe to S.S.C., R.A.C.K. or P.R.I.C.K. the C in all of those acronyms is "Consensual." Any scene or relationship has been preceded by a negotiation between participants with the limits of all involved setting the absolute boundaries within which the dominant stays, wherever they may lead the scene, whilst the submissive retains through the likes of safewords the ability to halt a scene at any point. As such for any erotic humiliation to take place within the context of BDSM the receiving party must in someway have a part of them that wants it. If they did not then they can stop it either with a pre-arranged limit or using their safeword. Anyone that chooses to ignore another's limits or safewords is not participating in BDSM or an erotic humiliation scene but is perpetrating abuse.

As such the hidden purpose of erotic humiliation is to temporarily empower a person's inner desires that are usually hidden away and suppressed by their social half. These may be specific desires the person has that part of them keeps suppressed or it may be that they are turned on by the feeling of humiliation itself. The reason for the latter is simple. Our brains are constantly looking to make connections between things, indeed making connections is the basis for creativity and learning. These mental connections are what allow certain smells to trigger old memories or certain visual cues to allow you to recognise danger (or maybe trigger a flashback for someone with PTSD). For those who felt shame about an aspect of their sexual development either due to unusual desires or a repressive environment there is the possibility their brain may have made the connection between feelings of shame and feeling turned on such that future episodes of embarrassment may trigger arousal in the same way smells of a childhood meal may trigger nostalgic memories.

Whilst we have spoken already on how our social selves reject and suppress many of our inner desires we have yet to touch on how the part of us in which our inner desires reside feels about that fact. Imagine for the moment that your inner desires were a pet monkey. That monkey just wants to do whatever it feels like doing, whether that be swinging from the light fixtures, hurling things out the window, wanking away in the corner etc etc. The owner (your social self) however needs the monkey to behave in a way that means the landlord (society/social group) won't kick them out. With the owner suppressing so many of the monkey's desires to behave for the landlord the monkey eventually grows to resent the owner for denying them the ability to do what they want to do and so turn hostile towards the owner. The part of us that our inner desires get relegated to can begin to resent the need to have a social self that denies its desires and ultimately left it neglected and deemed unworthy of love.

Within this context if we consider again why some sploshers enjoy seeing a reaction to a gunging that includes the recipient both enjoying and being a little humiliated we have a good explanation for it. The inner desiring "monkey" of the witnessing splosher is enjoying seeing a number of things:
1. The validation that someone else also secretly enjoys it.
2. Appreciating that the gungee's own "inner desire monkey" has momentarily broken free to enjoy itself.
3. The "social self/owner" that was complicit in allowing society to keep the gungee's "inner desire monkey" caged and repressed has been punished a little with some rightful mild humiliation for that neglect.

To a certain degree it could for some be considered the messy desires rejected or suppressed by the social self trying to find and empathise with another who has similar messy desires that have been rejected by their social self or in the worst case an attempt to project the issues a person's inner desires has with their social self that denies their sploshing desires.

Obviously erotic humiliation is not the only means by which inner desires are empowered. An example from a realm of BDSM would be Primal Play which, to quote from Kinkly, is "a style of BDSM that focuses on raw feelings and actions that are evoked by natural impulses and urges. Social norms and niceties are discarded for a very unfiltered self. The civilized shell gives way to emotions and sexual desire that ranges from happiness, joy, playfulness, silliness, sadness, and grief." Arguably the world of WAM's version of Primal Play is the likes of mud wrestling, food and pie fights as we temporarily chuck out the social rules of "don't play with your food" or "don't roll around in the mud" in favour of interacting with another on an instinctual level. Though that all probably deserves it's on Themes of WAM post.

What differs between the empowerment of the inner desires in something like Primal Play versus erotic humiliation comes from the role the social self plays in the dynamic. In primal play the social self is able to unleash certain instinctive inner desires itself whereas with erotic humiliation the social self is not quite able to bring itself to the point of unleashing those desires itself and instead seeks to devolve responsibility to someone else for allowing those inner desires to play out. Afterall if someone else "made" them do it or someone else was saying those awful things to them the social self has the necessary plausible deniability to place sufficient distance between the social self and their desires to believably claim they didn't enjoy it if ever faced with social judgement for it. Whilst the inner desires might desire a little payback on the social self for being denied so long the social self is complicit in allowing the inner desires to do this. Either as a form of cathartic penance it feels it must pay for indulging those desires or for the opportunity it grants the social self to demonstrate it is as "shocked" and "appalled" as anyone else that fails to understand the full nature of the dynamic so as to protect their social standing.

Regardless of whether empowering the inner desires with primal play or erotic humiliation or some other method it is ultimately temporary. After the scenes, play sessions and escapades end people inevitably need to return to their jobs, friends and family and for that no matter what play you engage in you respect them completely inner desires, social self and all such that you would not allow any genuine harm to come to any part of them. You need to understand that whilst their inner desires may be driven wild by you asking them to be a slut for you that you would never consider such epithets to apply to them as a person or anyone else for that matter.

In the end anyone wishing to engage in erotic humiliation does so because deep down a part of them really wants to experience it but part of them is well aware of the potential social damage that could come from admitting to it. As such it could very well be buried down as their greatest secret. As such it takes great courage and trust not only to divulge it to someone let alone allow someone to indulge it. However if you are able to demonstrate that you are such impeccable character within which you can honour their trust, have their best interests at heart and that you can wield the dark arts of temptation and humiliation for the benefits of pleasure rather than abuse you may just find that when you ask, "So tell me, what is it that you truly desire?" That you don't really need superpowers to get an honest answer after all.

And so this concludes this experimental blog post. If you'd like to see me continue looking at or answering varying questions about aspects of WAM, kinks and so forth please feel free to drop a like or comment (feel free to post your "guilty pleasure" music, tv show, movie, book or game is or any suggestions for other topics/questions to discuss) below and if there seems enough interest I might push myself to do a few more blog posts hopefully they won't be as long as this one I'll partially notch up the blame to picking a rather complex topic but hey if one is going to experiment with something might as well do it properly.

If anyone reading this would like any further recommended readings on the subject of this particular post erotic humiliation I would recommend starting by checking out "Enough to make you blush," by Princess Kali.