It was approaching midnight and Jim and Julie's wedding reception was slowing down. The older relatives had all gone to bed, and it was just the younger guests left in the hotel ballroom. Jim and Julie's friends were not much for either drinking or dancing, so they mostly spent the time chatting and catching up on time since college. It had been a very chill wedding so far, but Jim and Julie liked it that way, as it felt more intimate.

"OK everyone, congratulations to our newlyweds!" the DJ cut in. "The dance floor has been quiet tonight, so I wanted to send you off with a fun alternative to that. We're going to play the newlywed game!

The crowd applauded and turned to the couple. Jim was blond, with blue eyes, tanned skin, and a slightly athletic build. Julie was also quite fit, with blond hair that she wore up for this occasion in an elaborate bun. While gorgeous without makeup, she indulged her bridesmaids in applying just the right amount. She even had her nails painted a lovely shade of soft, pastel purple. She wore a modest white dress for the wedding.

The game started, with Jim and Julie answering questions about the other. They were mostly easy (some were suspiciously easy), and with just one round left the score was tied.

"Ok, this last question is a tiebreaker and it's to both of you," said the DJ. What are the last four digits of your spouse's childhood phone number?"

"2835!" Jim said triumphantly, thanking his knack for remembering phone numbers.

"Oh gosh, I have no idea!" said Julie.

"Well, in that case, Jim wins!" declared the DJ. Jim smiled proudly and Julie just shook her head. "Now, to make things interesting, we have a surprise for the loser. Actually, it's an extra treat to go with the cake."

Julie cocked an eyebrow.

"And Julie, you get to share this treat with your bridesmaids. Would you all like to step over here?"

Julie and her four bridesmaids, resplendent in their powder blue dresses, got up from the head table and quizzically walked over to a tarp that they hadn't previously noticed in the corner of the room.

"Ladies, you might want to take off your shoes for this."

The bridal party shot each other glances, but shrugged and removed their flats, revealing their matching light blue pedicures. They stepped barefoot onto the tarp, which crinkled underfoot.

"Ok ladies, form a line."

The young women obeyed, with Julie to stage right of her bridesmaids.

"And can I get Jim and each of these bridesmaids' dates out here?"

Jim and four other men sauntered over.

"So for losing the game, we are going to give Julie and her bridesmaids a little parting gift. Ladies, you're never wearing those dresses again, are you?" All five shook their heads no.

"Well then I'm sure you won't mind if we send you off with a ... pie in the face!"

The DJ retrieved a cart full of heaping cool whip pies from behind the curtain lining the wall.

The women's jaws dropped. Several covered their faces, as they turned to each other in shock.

The DJ began handing a pie to each woman's date. Most of the men seemed just as bewildered as the women, but slowly began coming to grips with this playful climax to the evening as they picked the pies off the cart. Jim in particular appeared to be suppressing a wide smirk.

The women were starting to calm down too. After all, the DJ was right. They were never going to wear these outfits again, and a shower was close at hand back at their rooms. Besides, they were among friends at this reception, and felt safe being ridiculous in front of this crowd.

Rose, a befreckled, auburn-haired bridesmaid, actually seemed a bit excited. "It's ok ladies, I've actually been pied before. It's a lot of fun. I'll even go first." She moved to the left end of the line.

"Ok, to build the excitement up to our guest of honor, we'll do this one by one," directed the DJ. "Rose, you want to go first?"

"Yup, I'm ready!" Rose clasped her hands behind her back, took a deep breath, and shut her eyes. Her date knew how to draw out the moment, holding the pie just under her chin for what seemed like an eternity. Rose laughed, opened her eyes again, and looked down at the pie. It was heaped tall with cool whip and was sure to make a big mess. She screwed her eyes shut again. "Ok. Pie me!" Rose nervously stammered.

Splat! Rose's date expertly drove the pie into her face and smeared it around for good measure, finally bringing the plate to rest on her head. Rose's hands emerged from behind her back, the dark red nails on her pale fingers disappearing beneath the cream on her face as she dug out her eyes. She laughed and began licking the cream off her fingers, not even noticing the pie plate stuck to her hair.

"See? It's not so bad"

She clearly wasn't convincing Daisy, the brunette next in line, who was shocked at the sheer amount of mess on her friend Rose's face.

Rose scooped a little more cream off her face and licked it off her fingers. "Mmm, it's good!" she then slowly licked her index finger in an exaggeratedly sexy fashion and winked at her date.

Daisy laughed nervously and turned to her own date.

"Hold on, let me put my hair back."

Daisy cupped her hair back behind her head and began fiddling with the elastic she kept on her wrist, all the while eyeing the mountainous pie that she was about to get in the face.

"Oh my gosh, there's so much of it!"

"Not gonna touch that one," said the DJ, "but do quit stalling!"

"Ok, please be gentle!" Dave, her date, clearly conscious of the fact that the rest of his night - either in bed with Daisy or on the couch alone - hinged on this moment, was endearingly tender. He started by taking a little bit of cream and dabbing it on the tip of Daisy's cute nose. Daisy laughed a bit more, the tension broken.

"Are you ready?" Dave asked.

"Ok," she said meekly.

As Dave moved the pie toward Daisy's face, she balked, putting her hands up and turning away, laughing.

"C'mon, you can do this," said Julie to her bridesmaid.

"Ok," Daisy said with a bit more resolve. "Ok," she said again as she shoved her arms down and tight against her waist. "Ok, do it!"

Dave gently but firmly pushed the pie into Daisy's face. Daisy immediately took the plate off her face and threw it to the floor, but the deed was done. She blinked away cream from her eyes and gave a few more nervous laughs. She paused for a second, then to everyone's surprise she pulled Dave into a hug, moving up on her tiptoes to smear pie from her face to his, nuzzling his face with her pie-covered nose. Everyone laughed.

Next it was the blond Devin's turn, but she held her hand up and turned to the remaining clean bridesmaid to her left, a raven-haired, tanned woman named Jeannie who was her best friend.

"Wait," exclaimed Devin. "We want to get pied together!"

Devin clutched Jeannie's hand. Both women shut their eyes and smiled sweetly.

Splat!Splat! Both of their dates obliged and pied them simultaneously. The two women wiped their eyes, looked at each other, and burst out laughing at how ridiculous the other looked. After recovering from the laughter they hugged as friends. A large dollop of cream fell to the floor between them, and they playfully stepped in it, enjoying the sensation as the pie oozed around their toes and light blue toenails.

All eyes now turned to the bride. Julie stood with her hands submissively clasped in front of her, beaming at Jim with a knowing look in her eye. She was nervous, being the center of attention and about to be covered in dessert, but she also looked practically ready to push her face into the pie Jim held.

But before Jim could act, the DJ put his arm around Julie and shepherded her towards the same patch of curtain where he had earlier revealed the pies.

"Hang on a second Julie, you're not getting away that easy," said the DJ, as he walked her towards the curtain in the back of the room. "You see, a little birdie told me that you're both fans of a certain '90s TV show. "So come with me to..." he drew the curtain away dramatically to reveal a white plastic chair with a red and white bullseye behind it "...the pie pod!!"

Julie gasped and clasped a hand over her mouth. Meanwhile the guests who didn't happen to have cable in the early 90s scratched their heads with confusion.

"Now, we don't quite have the technology to make our pie pod mechanical, so your bridesmaids and husband will serve as our pie launchers," the DJ explained while handing pies to each of the four grinning bridesmaids, who were still wiping and eating cream off their faces and were eager for revenge. "Now Jim, we want to make sure your new wife doesn't get cold feet. Would you do the honors of strapping her in?" The DJ handed Jim some Velcro straps.

Julie sat down slowly. She glanced at the target behind her and giggled, as she obediently placed her hands on the chair's arms. Jim first strapped her ankles to the chair and then gently tied down her wrists. Finally, he leaned in for a short, loving kiss. "Are you ready to get pied?" He whispered. She shut her eyes, giggled, and opened them again, looking up at Jim. "Yeah!" she said, in a small voice that conveyed both apprehension and excitement. Jim retrieved his pie and joined the semicircle of pie throwers around their target. He took one last chance to admire his bride's immaculately made up face and her golden, neatly styled hair. She suppressed giggles, her eyes darting back and forth at all the pies she would shortly be wearing.

"Ready folks?" Called the DJ "One... Two..." Julie shut her eyes tightly and smiled "THREE!"

SplatSplatSplatSplatSplat! All five pies found their mark in quick succession. Julie's face was covered, her beautiful hair was a mess, and one pie had even splattered on her chest, ruining the front of her dress.

"Hey, who had the tit shot?" laughed Rose. "I didn't mean to!" said Devin, sheepishly.

Julie sputtered from underneath the mountain of cream on her face. She shook her head into her lap in a vain attempt to clear some of the pie off, strands of her matted hair also hanging down. She flailed her hands as if to assist in the process of wiping off, but they remained stubbornly tied to the chair. Finally, she brought her head back up, licked her lips, and laughed, resigned to the ridiculous situation. Her soft pink lips were the only recognizable part of her face as bits of whipped cream continued to drip onto her lap.

The DJ came over and pulled a remaining pie tin off Julie's head. "We're not quite done yet," he said. "As anyone who's watched the show will remember, pies are only half of the pie pod experience. After the pies came the crowning glory!" As the DJ pulled out a bucket of pink-colored cake batter, Julie half-laughed, half-panted "Oh no!" The DJ turned to Jim. "Would you like to do the honors, sir?"

Jim took the bucket and stepped behind Julie. Julie sat upright and prepared to receive yet more mess.

Jim quickly turned the bucket over and emptied the slime over Julie's head. Thick cake batter flowed down her hair, over her face, into her dress, and onto her lap. Julie sat expressionless as the slime poured over and around her.

Finally, the bucket was empty. The DJ took back over the scene. "Well folks, what do you think?" The wedding party and remaining guests cheered and hollered. "Jim, why don't you let your bride out of there?" Jim undid Julie's wrists and then her ankles. She was finally able to wipe her face, her perfectly painted fingernails complimenting the pink slime as she dug mess from her eyes.

As Julie licked sweet whipped cream and cake batter off her fingers and hands, she surveyed the mess coating her body and contemplated how best to get up. Finally, Jim stuck out his hand to assist. Julie accepted the hand-up, then pulled Jim into a tight hug and deep kiss, smearing mess all over her husband. The crowd clapped approvingly, glad to see Julie get at least slightly even.

"Well Julie, did you have fun?" the DJ asked. "I did, actually. I've always wanted to be in the pie pod. I just never expected it to happen at my wedding!"

The DJ acknowledged Julie and her bridesmaids, who were still wiping bits of cream off their faces. "It looks like you ladies could use a shower. That's it for tonight everyone, congratulations again to Jim and Julie!"

The newlyweds hurried out of the ballroom and up the stairs to their suite. As Julie burst through the door, she immediately noticed the plastic sheeting covering the bed, which had not been there when she left. "Hang on a second, did you plan all of this?" she asked Jim.

"Maybe"

"Including rigging the game?"

"Very possibly"

"Isn't it a little unethical to involve my bridal party in your sexual fantasy?"

"Well, the readers are certainly enjoying it."

"What?"

"What?"

"Nevermind, come here."

Julie embraced Jim, and they again kissed. "There's one more pie in the fridge" said Jim.

"Wanna get it?" Asked Julie. Her delicate, feminine fingers lightly trailed up the bulge in his pants.

Jim gazed at his wife's face. There were gobs of white cream and pink slime stuck to her forehead, nose, and cheeks, and her hair was a matted mess, but in that moment she gave him the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

"God, I love you so much Julie"

"I love you too, Jim."

"I'll go get that pie"

"I can't wait!"