In an effort to reduce costs, and reduce waste during the planning of my first back to wamming and very first full self applied session - I did a photo stocktake of everything old and/or unwanted in my house.

Some things more standard others a bit unusual, but everything has potential to me. Strange combinations of things mean that even as me making the menu, and the mixes I never know quite how a substance will feel. Texture is the main consideration for wam for me. The more non-homogeneous, clingy and unique - the more effective it is.

Amongst those items were the pictures attached to this blog - and the following captions from me.

C:"The long past shelf of unwanted hell. Don't take this as a wish list or even anti wish list. I am cataloguing. So some of them items here are probably just nasty without any redeeming features. ie. Not even a turn on as a thought only. But given you have limited high level threat options with out them being bluffing only. Beans aren't usually that much of an issue but like this is the shelf of no one trusts it to still be edible."
The above referring to the picture containing 2 tins of baked beans, a tin of whole peeled tomatoes, a can of macaroni cheese, a large can of chunky soup and a large can of 8 dozen snails.

C:"Half frozen home made ham stock.. heavy on gelatin that came out naturally it smells as hammy as you might expect. Past trust-able for eating homemade tomato paste from tiny cherry tomatoes i picked that started growing near our bins"



Initially the inaugural session was to be only a few days from the initial planning date. I was on a no climax order, but due to my family's health the date for the session got delayed as I need to be home alone for a big messy thing.

As the days until getting release seemed to drag more and more. I began to get far too frustrated.

C:"I'm also horny af and scared of doing another 4am pour if i cant keep my hands of it." I wrote.

The reply was,
SH:"That would be punishable by all of the nasty tins from that cupboard being out in a bowl with that tomato substance and the hammy stuff and all going over your head"

C:"can i at least cum as much as i want for that price?
Does all over head mean pour or dunk?"

SH:"Yeah, go absolutely fucking nuts, but you know I'll definitely need a video,
Dunk a few times, then pour"

C:"I'm not sure i can afford that just yet.
You don't want video of that... that's too much ick for you. Ill save you the pain of witnessing it"

SH:"I'll be the judge of that. At the very least you can pie yourself first as an apology for what is about to follow, and I'd love to see you climaxing hard"

C:"Why does pieing sound so much worse than bowl of misery?
Alternate plan... what happens if i mange to get off without any direct contact?"

SH:"Still counts"

C:"Problem is I'm too horny to sleep I've got like a tingly buzz going from just bellow belly button to.mid thigh.i do not yet have pie fillings i intended to buy them day of on way back home from drop off. Ans cant believe even contemplating the big mix of just everything. I'm cycling between worth it even I must be quiet, and just never sleeping"

SH:"I have got like literally 10 mins free now if you wanted to get off live and guilt / punishment free on a vid call"

C:"Id been reading though the forfeits if not replied game thread...
...I will go get a towel"

And so that day I managed to dodge the newly named Bowl of Misery.



But i had mentioned it to another person at the time;
I had sent,
C:"But at like 4am, unable to sleep from being too horny coz brain inputs plus ovulation. I just couldn't face the idea getting to to go to bathroom silently and open all the tins, combine them. Then lower my face into it repeatedly and tip it on me."

The conversation then moved to discord and it was brought up again, he said
HH:"I'm hoping I get to see you fill your bowl of misery..."
and i replied,
C:"Problem i have is getting started. Like getting held down and forced into the bowl of misery while i'm trying to punch on.. sure everyone happy. But willingly doing it there is so many layers of nope"

I then shared the ingredients pictures, to which he asked,
HH:"And you are going to have to head dunk in those?"

C:"No no i escaped that."

HH:"Where is that mess going now?

C:"I think the fridge stuff that's now skipped 2 regular cleanouts is on Tuesday's menu. But the forgotten cans remain to haunt me lol"

HH:"I'd definitely offer to gunge you if I could...lol"

C:"Yeh well if you ever in the vicinity lol"

HH:"Lol, if I am, I'll make you disgusting...promise."



Then there was the gel in underwear discrete messy thing and my sticking to no climax after - well.... that didn't quite happen. But I'd sent many messages and pics and then this confession to the original person (SH).

C:"So i tried to edge whilst hose cleaning when home after lying in it a bit wiggling about. Yeh well horny me is like fuck his consequences bring it on mofo and then went through the potentials. Which really made it urmm... go well or bad depending on you point of view lol."

But this message got buried in my prepping for the main live video chat event. So i thought I might have managed to dodge it again. But i was silly enough to be emotionally outpouring about the prepping insecurity to the other person (HH).

HH:" I don't think you are going to escape it - I think you are getting it all today...
You've already shown me how you look today...I'd enjoy seeing you getting gunged."

C:"Though currently im getting the oh u fucked feels"

HH:"Oh you are fucked...it's going to be disgusting for you...lol
Are you getting the old stews/soups too today?"

C:"They are not currently on the supplies list, and im not sure i want to highlight my urm.. liberty of climax yesterday and cop it if he hasnt been through the fuckton of short vids i sent
Are you trying to convince me to openly point it out and get the bowl of misery into play?"

HH:"I think you should."


So instantly switched into defense and distract mode.....
C:"Why would u want that used.
Once this session is done i can free up my emotional space and you could scene with me...
Maybe you'd rather watch it live.. with you directing"

HH:"I might get to do it with you?
That would be a turn on."

C:"I assumed that why we were chatting?
Was i incorrect?
Or am i fucking with you to get out of the bowl of misery today?"

HH:"I'd love to get you gunged. I kind of thought, the other was the lucky one this time."

C:"Yeh first into mah head gets dibs lol
And coz build up, and delay its kinda kept me preoccupied
But im not mono
And there has bern no discussion of ownership rights
Like im open to lifestyling, but im still not mono
So then its like whatever rules are round that"

HH:"Mmmm, I do like the idea of you getting it at at my instruction..."

C:"He may very well get what he came for... and rapidly lose any interest in me now he knows more 'bout my brain
To be fair so might you
But hey if i session with everyone once it'll keep me busy for a while"

HH:"No...I want to make you keep getting gunge not just get it once...lol"

C:"Yeh time will tell
I'm a needy difficult little cunt
Lol"

HH:"Maybe...but so fun to make suffer in gunk...lol"

There was some general conversation and then when sending my post discrete messy face pic.

HH:"Just you horny after the discrete public mess?"

C:"Id cum several times as well when got home
Which i did confess to.. but you don't want me to face bowl of misery today....
With someone ho isn't even into nasty stuff so much.
That'd be a waste?"

HH:"But if you took your bowl of misery I'm sure another could be mixed up...lol"

The conversation then turned to headspace and my dissociating type issues and an invitation for him to poke around in my brain.

C:"Well you are welcome to dig thru as you wish
I'm not so much an open book as an open hoarders house"

HH:"Lol. Have a little poke around?"

C:"I do all this shit i don't like to get away from my inner self. Too overwhelmed to have spare cpu power to process anything in my head at same time
Well if a little poke is all you have..
Then guess have to make do"

There was a bit of banter and similar themed jokes, and mixed with apologies and checking if i was actually being offensive.

HH:"I figured you were just being bratty to get a rise...lol"

C:"Not enough of a rise to bother with..."

HH:"Though after that you definitely should get the bowl of misery and another when I'm in charge...lol"

C:"Get fucked. Lol"

This is my standard reply, when I'm feeling cornered or called out. It isn't meant offensively really, but it a good sign than an effective button has been pressed.

HH:"Now I know you think you deserve it...lol"

C:"Yeh so what if i do. Doesn't mean i have to get it.. can charm my way outta all-sorts.
But i did ask if he required any changes to the currently set prep list
So mf i offered
I'm closing in on go time
I ain't pushing shit

HH:"No, you deserve it.
You should accept it."

C:"Like I've been a bit of a shit with every fucken mini event on way to this.
You should shut the fuck up....
Lol"

HH:"You want me to make you take it...lol"

C:"No i justvfeel like you might want it and i feel like i have to sexually please people who are nice to me
So id owe you it.
And just incase u are unsure which character of real me vs brat me that is
I dont fucking know either..."

HH:"I count as nice to you? Lol, I definitely aren't in charge of your gunging if you feel that way...lol"

C:"No that just came out as delicious introspective truth wrapped in a coating of finest bratty manipulation
I coulda left it unanalysed, but i was too proud of the severity of such a statement lol
Did it get ya at least a little bit?"

HH:"Not enough I'd let you off the bowl of misery If I get a say...lol
'm still not 100% sure if you are trying to get me to say "save the bowl of misery for me" or not, lol."

C:"I dunno either lol
You wont get consistency round these parts
You must be new round ere
Lol"

HH:"Ask him directly if he wants you to use it please"

C:"Lump in throat plus tight and squirm"

HH:"Ask him please. I want to hear what he says after."

C:"Ugh dont be polite.. its making me feel obligated
Lol
Fucken i cant fight with reasonably worded requests..."

HH:"Good. And thank you."

C:"Get fucked shitcunt
Lol"

HH:"Lol. I know it's making you horny, the more you hate it, the hornier...
How gross is the bowl of misery looking?"

I did report it to SH however,
C:"So ive got a few living vicariously through me who i bombard instead of you coz i get scared you wont want me if im too much. And one of em has asked me to specifically ask you about bowl of misery due to yesterdays behaviour you might have skim read. And im only saying it coz they asked really politely, and im regretting every mentioning it to anyone."

HH:"I'm sure it's looking really bad...lol.
Good girl, I look forward to his answer."

Amongst all the quoted parts of conversations was various details of my headspace, traumas and anxieties.

C:"honest feedback plz. Not sugarcoated. How u liking the tour of my brain dump?"

HH:"You are extreme, but your brain is interesting. It's not scared me off yet, I still want to make you suffer in filth while I get horny watching."

C:"I do enjoy the contrast between people being caring nice people, and diabolical when at play"

The conversation continued as I did hair, makeup and then got morning school run done, before moving in supplies; Speckled with constant references to the bowl of misery, and descriptions of how various messy things could be used. I responded with a bunch of expletives, or similar themed gif images throughout.

I sent an image of my bathroom set up with supplies.

HH:"Pies, eggs...mmmm. And do I see your bowl of misery? Lol"

C:"Nope"

Then a bit later sent images of me dressed and ready. I was a little later than intended. However SH did not answer the discord call, and I hit panics.

So amongst back to back calling on discord I sent messages to SH.

C:""Oi
Wake up
Thought u were destroying me?
Please wake up. I dunno if your discord is silent
Ill wait til 10:48 calling constantly
Then bring in undersudy i guess
But i really want you
WAKE UP. COME GET ME MOFO
Please answer. Understudy calling in bowl of misery...."


Then also at the same time to HH
HH:"Doh. So you are already to get gunged and don't have anyone to make you? Still got a little time."

C:"Last replied to me an hr ago
Fucking hell
He got 20min"

HH"Try and give him a while longer?
Then what happens in 20mins?"

C:"I dunno. U want at it i guess
Or i just have a cry
Or some combo"

HH:"Well I wanted to gunge you, but not at the expense of you. Lets give him 20mins, then see.
Hugs"

There was a bit of me fretting describing supplies, and then basic tech support getting HH set up to screen record. I was also feeling bad reassigning the directing job after having to reschedule from the previous week.

C:"Could rearrange supplies so his extra choices are left and ill remake pies for a day hes not knocked out coz they wont keep"

HH:"That makes sense.
And I can get you to take the bowl of misery too...lol."

C:"Oh fuck
Lemme find another understudy real quick
Lol"

HH:"Is it wrong your "oh fuck" turns me on? Lol."

C:"Probably
But yer a sick lil fuck"

HH:"And do you have some ketchup? Brown sauce? Salad cream?"

C:"Yeh
Fucking hell
This shits getting worse"

HH:"Mmmm, yes."

C:"6min and im even more hoping he comes to
Ill have to find a can opener for yours. Omg no
Do not want"

HH:"Find the can opener please."

C:"Mmhmmm...
Ugh fucksake."

HH:"How are you feeling now? Lol"

C:"Get fucked"

HH:"How are you feeling please."

C:"No.
Im feelin no
Im copping it worse coz he passed out
How the fuck is that fair"

HH:"You know you are getting gunged...lol. No escaping this...
You wanted to be completely destroyed right? Lol."

C:"No he wanted me destroyed"

HH:"And I want you destroyed and smelly...lol."

C:"Yeh im moving stuff
Im assuming u want bowl of misery assembled on camera?"

HH:"yes please, I want to enjoy your expression as you do it...lol"


Then it became a tech support call for a while, and i negotiated to save my outfit for the original person.

The scene did start with me opening cans, and mixing up the bowl. The bowl remained sat at the foot of the bath just off camera until it got called up.