If theres an opposite to the glamourous life, its probably mine. Im 41 and unremarkable. Im a cashier at an old neighborhood grocery. I live two blocks away in a small house my dad bought me. I sold my car years ago. Where would I go? I dont have friends, my parents have passed, and my sister lives a thousand miles from Tennessee. And if she were closer, shed just ridicule me anyway. Get your hair done. Try some makeup. Buy some nice clothes. You look like youve just given up on life!

I really havent. I dont think. But I do pretty much stick to the neighborhood. Theres always the bus for the rare occasion I need to get elsewhere.

Even in my state of practical invisibility, guys still hit on me at the checkstand. Horrible guys. Homeless guys. Desperate guys. Married guys looking for an easy lay. Heyeven I have standards. I didnt think I could be surprised at the checkstand Ive worked at since high school until the day Holly accidentally told me what her fetish was.

Ive known Holly since grade school. We were never friends, but we werent unfriendly either. Shes still pretty with her long black hair and bright eyes. Shes basically kept her figure, covering it in summer dresses she may well make herself. She married a doctor and they live in the neighborhood behind mine with big beautiful old homes that were probably considered mansions in their day. They have huge yards and trees so tall and thick they cover the sky like a canopy. I love taking walks back there at night. The lights in the windows, the sounds, the ambiance. Id love to see the inside of some of those homes. I picture traditional family gatherings with the men talking business and the women knitting or talking about recipes. Id thought of asking Holly to see hers, but couldnt get up the courage.

Anyway, it happened one day at the store. Among the items in Hollys cart was a lot of instant pudding and gallons of milk. As I was taking her money and the courtesy boy was putting her bags in her cart, I asked Church potluck?

Huh? She asked.

All the pudding, I said.

Oh! No, gunge, she said before suddenly getting a horrified look on her face as if she didnt mean to say that.

Whats I asked before she interrupted me.

Nothing! she exclaimed, as she hurried out of the store.

I had no idea what shed meant by gunge. But as embarrassed as she was, I had to think it was kinky.

Kinky. Even I still think about sex sometimes. Not often, but sometimes.

I was well into checking out the next customer when he noticed Hollys wallet on my counter. I sent the courtesy kid out to catch Holly, but shed left already. So I kept it and after work, walked back to the neighborhood with the big houses under the big trees and knocked on Hollys door.
She opened the door and looked a little startled. HI! she sort of nervously exclaimed.

I held out the wallet. You forgot this.

Oh my GOSH! Come in! Come in! She grabbed the arm holding her wallet and pulled me inside. I didnt even REALIZE! Thank you so much!

As I came through the door, my eyes quickly assessed the room. A grand space open to the second floor with incredible original woodwork and a circular staircase. The hanging light fixture had bulbs that looked as old as the house, providing a light hue you just dont see anymore.

Im in! I exclaimed without even realizing it.

Holly was still holding my arm and stammering something when she stopped. Sorry? she asked.

I just started laughing. Sorry. Didnt mean to say that out loud. Ive always wanted to see the inside of one of these beautiful old homes.

Well come on then! she exclaimed, grabbing my arm again. She took me on a tour and told me all about it. The house was originally her grandparents and she and her husband bought the share of it she didnt already inherit in the estate sale. Theyd kept the place up well and as period specific as possible, down to the furniture. There was one interior room that was conspicuously empty.

We stopped short of the kitchen.

Well she started before pausing and just putting her hands over her eyes. And then I remembered her embarrassment earlier. I couldnt help but start giggling. WHAT? she exclaimed in a nervous giggle of her own. Then we both busted out laughing in that way you do when things are horribly awkward.

So gunge I finally asked.

She looked shocked that Id ask. UmIare you sure you want to know this?

Hey, Im a grown-up. I used to have a sex life and everything.

Really? I kind of thought you were super religious.

No, I said with a sour look on my face. I guess I could see why people would think that. I have been to church since I was eight. It just wasnt my thing. I think it was all the people. Ive never been good socially.

Wow, she said. I guess I thoughtyou want a glass of wine?

Sure! I replied.

She hesitated at the kitchen entrance for a second, then shrugged and led me in. It was the centerpiece of the house. Huge, period colors, beautiful wood, and a massive center island full ofpies. And bowls of pudding.

WOW! I exclaimed.

Holly poured two glasses, downed hers quickly, then poured herself a second before handing me mine. She didnt say a word.

This is a lot more than I imagined, isnt it, I said.

And so she told me how it worked. They even wore clothes to start, getting them completely messy. Head-to-toe, everything covered before slowly stripping and making love. It was something special they did only a couple of times a year when the kids were gone. It was a lot to process, but ultimately, I had one question.

Dont the pies hurt?

What do you mean? she asked.

Isnt getting a pie to the face like getting punched in the face?

No! she exclaimed. The pie cushions the blow and just sort ofexplodes around you. Its kind of amazing. I dontI dont know quite how to describe it.

She paused, and then asked Do you want me to pie you?

I froze.

Im just kidding, she said, pouring another glass. Im sorry.

You know what? I said. Pie me.

She dropped her glass to the counter with a startle. Honey, I was kidding

No, seriously, I said. Id had a couple of glasses, a rarity for me, and I was feeling pretty loose. This was, by far, the craziest moment Id had in years, and I was up for it.

Well, she said in an unsure tone. We have a space upstairs for this. You want to help me set up?

The empty room? I asked.

Yep, she said.

I helped her move everything upstairs. They had an inflatable pool like you see at the bars that do pudding wrestling, which she set in the middle of the room after rolling out painters plastic to cover the floor. Everything surrounded the pool. Dozens of piessimple pre-fab crusts filled with pudding and whipped cream, bowls of pudding. I think she thought Id change my mind in the time it took to set up, but I was just getting more excited thinking about it.

Well? she asked.

Oh! Let me take off my glasses. She took them from me and put them on a dresser in the bedroom next door. I stepped into the pool and stood waiting.

Holly looked like she couldnt believe this was happening. I certainly couldnt believe it was happening. I started getting a fit of the giggles. Holly looked at the options, selected a pie, and stepped into the pool.

We both had the nervous giggles. Holly stood there holding the pie for the longest time before I finally shut my eyes and she just let me have it.

SPLAT! Suddenly, I knew what Splat sounded like. Suddenly, I knew what Splat FELT like. It DIDNT hurt. My face was suddenly immersed in goo, and a lot of it. Holly didnt stop with pushing the pie into my faceshe moved the pie up on top of my head, pushing the foam plate downward so it sat on my head like a hat. Goo had exploded around me. I could feel it deep in my scalp, even a little down my cleavage and on the back of my blouse.

I shrieked, which only served to get me a mouthful of pudding. We both busted out laughing. My hands went straight to my face. I brushed the pudding down off me, which dropped onto my blouse. This was a WAY bigger mess than I was anticipating.

We were still laughing when another voice said Whats going on?

It was Hollys husband. We hadnt heard him arrive. He was standing there in his full suit, fresh home from work. Holly suddenly looked mortified. I was too far gone to care. Im losing my gunge virginity, I said, still laughing.

Great! Well, Im going to change, he said as he left the room as if nothing at all was unusual about this. Holly looked REALLY confused. She held up a finger like one moment and followed him. I started to feel like an outsider. A very messy outsider, thinking I should just go.

Holly returned and slowly, nervously asked Soyou want to join us?

I paused. What am I getting myself into, I thought.

Her husband returned quickly, dressed down to a white T-shirt and shorts. Hes tall and thin with a full head of salt-and-pepper hair. Very professional looking. Very doctor. His mannerisms and speaking tone reminded me of a scientist in a B-movie monster flick.

Im Jack, he said as he shook my pudding-covered hand. Youre the checkout girl, arent you?

Christy, I replied.

Christy, he said. Nice to meet you. So this tends to get kind of sexual between us, but if it gets too out of hand for you, just say Stop and drop out at any time. Deal?

I was feeling more nervous and anxious, but I went with it. Deal.

But none of us seemed to know what to do next.

Jack broke the silence. You know, Ive messed Holly up a few times over the years, but Ive never seen someone else mess her up. Hang on a sec. He disappeared while Holly got this look of shock on her face and I started giggling.

Jack returned with two folding chairs, setting one up in the middle of the pool for Holly, and one outside the pool for himself. I took her hand. Have a seat, mlady, I giggled.

Holly sat with the nervousness of somebody whod never done this before. She sort of looked terrified. Already messed up, I was sort of relaxed and kind of jovial. She wore a green summer knee-high dress with a low cut in front. She acted kind of squirmy as I eyed my options surrounding the pool. I picked up a vanilla cream pie and faced her, grinning SO hard, which made Holly giggle. Jack, sitting in his chair, looked as excited as a child on Christmas Day.

I made a couple of slow teaser motions at Holly.

And then I let her have it.

I did it just as shed done to mehit her square in the face, then slid the pie up over her head. There was a muffled shriek at contact, then more giggles.

I grabbed another pie and hit her again, this time sliding it downward. A good chunk of custard went down the front of her dress. I could see her black bra got some. Her boobies were getting messy.

I just messed up a girls breasts, I realized to myself and kind of froze.

Holly wiped the pie off her face and jarred me back to reality by slapping two handfuls of pudding from her mess onto MY breasts, rubbing the pudding into my blouse. Backatcha, she said smiling.

I just got felt up by a girl, I realized. And it excited me.

Holly read my pause like a book and stood up. Close your eyes, she ordered. I did. I heard her get something, then suddenly felt her hand pull back the waste band on my black slacks. Suddenly, pudding was pouring down the back of my pants, some of it getting inside my white cotton briefs. I let out a whole new level of shriek at the chilling sensation. But Holly kept going, pulling my panties back as well for a full inside load. My private parts were wet. Pudding was streaming down my legs in my pants. And for good measure, Holly gave me a single solid spank. My back arched and I made squealing noises that were probably on a whole new level for me. Then, as if exhausted, I dropped to all fours. Holly wasted no time in giving me a couple more spanks. At this point, my breathing had become heavy. I dont know that Id ever been this excited.

Roll on your back, Holly ordered. I complied, laying back in the pool. Jack had apparently removed the chair.

Holly straddled me. She unbuttoned the first few buttons of my blouse and opened it up to reveal my white bra. She grabbed two handfuls of pudding and started caressing it into my bra. She then went inside the cups. I was completely submissive, and sexually WIDE awake. She massaged more pudding onto my body at the exposed parts, including occasionally my head. She eventually unbuttoned my entire blouse and covered me in pudding.

Holly undid my pants, exposing the front of my panties, which were still dry at the front. Not for long. She splatted a handful of chocolate pudding on the front, caressing it in. She wasnt even to my G-spot yet and I involuntarily moaned.

Holly slid my pants off with no resistance from me. She took a handful of pudding and slipped it under the cotton directly onto me. Im not sure I said OH MY GOD out loud, but I certainly thoughtand feltit.

Holly continued rubbing pudding into my crotch briefly while staring down as if she was making a decision. Then without a word, she backed herself down me, dropped her head in, and kissed the crotch of my panties. I reeled in a deep shocking breath and moaned, and thats all she needed to hear. She moved my panties aside and started performing oral. I couldnt believe this was happening.

I think wed both forgotten about Jack. I suddenly saw him behind her, completely naked and fully erect. He lifted her dress and dropped a pie on her ass. Holly lifted her ass into the air on her knees while still licking my clit. Holly let out groans in sync with Jack paddling her ass. My eyes were pretty much shut for awhile as my body experienced whole new sensations at Hollys tongue, but I could feel more pudding splattering as Jack poured buckets of it over Hollys back and my front.

Holly then started grinding and groaning and I opened my eyes to discover Jack was fucking her from behind. Despite this, Holly STILL managed to pay attention to me. The whole site of thisthe whole feeling of thismy body exploded in orgasm. Holly exploded in orgasm. Jack took no time exploding inside his wife.

Jack hosed us down in the shower, still clothed for the most part, until we stripped down. Holly had little black lacy panties onit was the first time Id noticed.

We all slept naked in the same bed. In the morning, Jack went off to work and Holly and I, still naked, cleaned up and did laundry. I was surprised that my clothes were actually wearable. Probably ruined for daily function, but at least I could get home.

So now when I walk through the neighborhood with the big beautiful houses, I see a whole different idea of whats going on in there.

Especially when the residents are stocking up on pudding at the market.