I don't usually start these with a disclaimer but this time I feel it's warranted. This story is very out there, fantastical and completely ridiculous. These are two series in no way meant to meet so I hope the mix isn't too jarring. I'd hope you can enjoy it for what it is.

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Shinji, you idiot.' Asuka screamed those words across the hanger to assault the ears of the assembled techs, engineers, soldiers and medics. To say nothing of her two fellow Evangelion pilots. And certainly nothing of her superiors; Major Katsuragi, Commander Fuyutske and Commander Ikari. Who certainly paid attention to the ire being directed towards his only son.



Following what they had gone through in the final battle to defeat the Angels and the truths they had shared in that one moment when they believed they wouldn't survive, things had thawed somewhat between Shinji and his father. While they were still feeling their way through this new found connection, they were closer now than they had ever been. Much had changed after the Angels fell. Nerv had gone from mankind's last line of defence to almost being sidelined as an afterthought while Japan and the rest of the world focused on rebuilding what they had lost. Which meant that their own repairs to the Geo Front and the Evangelion were proceeding slowly with what limited funding they had.



And to everyone else, that was fine. The step back from a war footing a welcome change for all, except Asuka who was not dealing well with this new peacetime mentality. Literally her entire life had been focused on her becoming an Eva Pilot, driven by a thirst to prove her value. Something she couldn't do without an enemy to fight. Or an Eva to pilot. Hence why she had just snapped at Shinji for nothing more than, in her mind, answering Misato's question too loudly. All she had asked was for an update on his synch ratio. Something very important given how his was the only Eva close to being fully functional, the power of instrumentality having protected him from the worst effects of the final battle.



And this was hardly the first fit of rage Asuka had descended into recently. And by no means the worst. But it was the final straw. Over these past weeks, work crews and technicians were subjected to numerous tirades for transgressions such as taking too long with checks on her Eva, getting in her way as she stalked around the hanger while they performed what repairs they.



Maya and Dr Akagi felt the sharp edge of her tongue during the endless barrage of synch tests that all pilots were undergoing to try to improve connection to the Eva, especially when she found out she would be doing them butt naked again; where she went as far as accusing them of perving on her nubile post teenage body. Now 20 years old Asuka had bloomed a little, both in height and other attributes. So much that her plug-suit had to be adjusted slightly in a couple of areas. And while she wasn't against flaunting that, she strongly objected to have it shown to the world just for a synch test.



Her ire had even touched Commander Ikari when Asuka had stormed into his office and demanded to do something other than synch tests and launch drills over and over again. Much more calmly than the young woman practically shouting in his face, Commander Ikari had asked what she suggested; an invasion of China perhaps. Maybe an incursion into Russia or The Philippines? The world was, after all, just recovering from one war. It didn't need another. It needed peace. To which Asuka screamed that peace is boring and stormed out.



Instead of abating Asuka's foul mood only grew with each passing day, leaving the unanswered question of what to do about her. Various ideas from a spell in confinement to dismissal altogether were quickly rejected. And they couldn't be seen to reward this behaviour with any leave. Bizarrely it was Rei who came up with a solution, even if Toji was somewhat to blame given how he had introduced her to the Japanese prank shows on which she was now completely hooked. It was through those that Rei saw her favourite show had recently brought limited rights to an old British television program that promised revenge on someone who had wronged you, humiliating them for all to see on national television. Even though she had only mentioned this in passing and didn't mean for it to be taken seriously, that was exactly how it had been taken and with a few strings pulled by Commander Ikari Rei, Shinji and most importantly Asuka were soon signed up for the inaugural episode.



The only one who had any misgivings about this was, unsurprisingly, Shinji. Not that he didn't think she needed some sort of punishment for her behaviour. But that didn't mean he didn't have reservations over this. Reservations he voiced one evening over dinner to Misato and Rei while Asuka was sulking in the bath.



'Isn't this whole thing a littlewell..mean?'



Rei and Misato shared a glance before the latter turned her gaze to Shinji over the top of her can of beer. 'Hasn't she been pretty mean to all of us recently?'



Shinji opened his mouth to defend Asuka, only to pause for a long moment as he thought about that. It didn't take much get Asuka riled up these days and even less for her temper to flare up to dramatic proportions. And something had to be done. That was largely the consensus running through Nerv Headquarters. The only question was what. Shinji had even tried to help calm her down, tentatively offering her the voucher he had won for a long weekend stay at a Onsen. True, he had wanted to spend that with Rei; the idea of four full days alone with his girlfriend in a private suite proving very tempting. Asuka wasn't the only one to have grown up after all. What Shinji hadn't realised what that this particular Onsen was the very one they had stayed at following the Okinawa Volcano Incident. How was he to know it had changed owners since they had visited? Asuka had noticed though and tore him a new one in front of the whole hanger crew, accusing him of everything from purposely bringing that up to humiliate her and suggesting that he had only done this so he could come along and perv on her naked body as she bathed. Rei had interjected here and rose to Shinji's defence, which only drew Asuka's ire to her blue haired fellow pilot and rival, snapping that she should just take her baka boyfriend and give him a cold shower. Or a nice quick blowjob, to take the edge of his perverted thoughts. Since a quick blowjob was all he could take given how trigger happy he is.



Rei had taken that stoically while Shinji blushed a deeper shade of red than Asuka's crimson fury. Asuka wasn't the only one to have grown, Shinji and Rei having now only just started to explore a physical relationship as he put it. Or sex as Rei expressed it in her usual pragmatic way, seemingly carrying no shame about it. In public anyway. Privately Rei was actually the more bashful lover. But that is another story.



'Good point.' Shinji said dryly.



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Just a little teaser of a full story that is up right now on my Patreon. No paywall, no locked content. Instead I offer perks where my Patreons control how my art and stories progress and develop. If you like what you see and would like to support my work, that would mean a lot to me.

Full Story - https://www.patreon.com/posts/revenge-of-au-x-82903171