The Pie Society was called to order. Chairing and hosting in my rec room, I said "Let's do some introductions"

After everyone said their name and interest, "Welcome" I said, standing in front of the group, "we know why we are here, to promote and normalize the activity of pieing, sploshing, and other forms of humiliation"

With that, my wife snuck up behind me, pied me in the face. While my hands were clearing my eyes, she pantsed me, revealing the beginnings of a boner. She then pushed me down into the chair, on which she placed another pie.

I continued, "humiliation alone or in small groups is good, but in larger groups or public is better. How can we make this more socially acceptable, so we can avoid jail for indecent conduct, but not so acceptable that it loses the thrill?"

Smita, beautiful, tall, but nervous Indian woman, was treasurer. She called hello down to the group, which called back, "You are late".

"A meeting ran long".

Nevertheless, following the rule, the last one in is pelted with rotten eggs. She came down the stairs. "wait" she cried " let me take off my suit jacket and skirt, we don't want to pay for dry cleaning." Reduced to white top and dark stockings, she closed her eyes hard and grimmaced. Everyone else dipped their hands into the bowl of eggs, grabbed some, and hurled them at her.

Dripping with eggs, she took her seat at the board table.

"We were discussing normalization strategies, ideas?"

"Some of this just depends on acceptance of public nudity, but I think public pieing is legal if both parties agree"

"Ok, it is legal, but it can still be damaging to the career. We want to have our cake and eat it too, so to speak. The shame without the consequences. It is not sexual for most people, just embarrassing. Should we come 'out'?"

"Someone besides a movie actor has to come out, we can't rely just on Sarah Shahi"

"You know how long it took homosexuality to become accepted such as it is, and I bet there are more of them than us. Oh and some of us are them, I know. Do there need to be riots like at Stonewall?"

"Maybe more public pie fights. Maybe some new holiday, like March 14, Pie Day, would help, we can organize pie fights in every city, like a flash mob. Like No Pants Day on the subway"

"It is too cold in March"

"Think of the hard nipples"

"Think of the shrunken cocks"

"How about indoors?"

"How about at some clubs? Or in a mall?"

"Can we get sponsors? Pies get pricey. Mrs. Smiths?"

"If we can get a few dozen people in each city, it would get media attention, people will come out of the woodwork."

"Crazy college kids will do anything."

"Like the Tomatillo."

"That's another thing we can do."

"Is this good enough?"

"It would be a start."

Smita was still dripping eggs. I was still bare ass naked sitting in pies.

My wife came in, the perfect hostess. Drinks anyone?

She started pouring drinks on the heads and in the laps of the members of the board. The tea was warm but not scalding. Shirts slowly became transparent. Screams of surprise were heard. There was not a dry head in the house.

"We need a Pie Day committee, some people to work on viral messaging."

"We also need to do more one-on-one pieings. When I was kid there was an organization Pie Face International that you could hire to do hits."

"They aren't around now because of Liability."

"The first thing we do is pie all the lawyers"

"Can we plant newspaper article about the reemergence of random pie in the face attacks between friends and lovers."

"Maybe it's the new thing the love doctor ordered."

"We could get on a daytime talk show."

"We could write a pop psychology book about how mutual humiliation is mutual submission and creates stronger relationships."

"How fucking with food is hot."

My wife said "The refrigerated zucchinis were quite cold when I fucked them"

"How messy sex is hot. Chocolate and creme is romantic."

I tried to regain control of the meeting. "Secretary, did you get all that? Anyway. Next action item, we each pie one of us at the same place, maybe in front of the TV stations downtown. We need to coordinate dates. This ensures a raft of noticed public pieings, and of course, will be personally humiliating."

A schedule was arranged.

"Is there any other official business?"

Hearing none, the official meeting was adjourned, and the dessert cart was rolled out.