Took delivery of a very nice and "like new" charcoal coloured pin stripe suit from ebay last week. The 3 piece suit had only been worn once? but it also looked like it had never been worn either! How I like them, straight from the shop!
I know of a small pond close by where the edges (at least 10ft from the waters edge) are a deep (3-4ft) clay like mud.
I put on the suit with a white double cuff shirt and pink tie and headed out. (its a 10 minute car drive) one of my neighbours commented on just how good I looked and how smart my suit was. This turned me on even more knowing what was going to happen to it in the next half hour!
I parked the car and began the short walk to the pond. (although isolated there are still the occasional dog walkers about and its not the kind of place you'd expect to come across someone wearing a 3 piece suit)
Being remote there is some long grassy areas and a few muddy patches, I tried to avoid these so I had a crisp clean suit to enjoy at the pond. Thankfully there was no dog walkers, and my rehearsed excuse for being where I was in a suit wasn't needed (Meeting a girl for a "posh picnic" date! lol)
As I approached the clearing where the pond is I could see the water had receded slightly exposing more mud which looked creamier and deeper.
There's 2 ways to enter the mud wearing a suit I find, The long way where you slowly walk around getting the bottoms of your trousers and shoes muddy and slowly build up to eventually laying in it or there's the other way, the way I chose to destroy a beautiful, well fitting suit, white shirt and tie. that is to get as much as a good clean run up as you can then to basically launch yourself into the air and aim for the nicest bit of mud! head first!!! needless to say I landed with the inevitable splat, slide and sink into gorgeous light brown clay, when I rolled over to inspect my suit, in 1 jump I had successfully managed to cover every inch of fabric with mud, only thing left to do was to open my jacket to ensure the matching waistcoat was covered then to open that to finish off the shirt and tie.
I slid around for possibly 5 minutes more enjoying what was the best 3 piece suit id ever worn before taking the last slide across the mud before I had a swim to wash the mud off.
I washed the mud off in the pond, then had a little swim before leaving the whole suit drying over a branch of a tree on a little island in the middle of the pond, in the hope someone else will wonder what its doing there and maybe they might even try it themselves. I would,
I've been back a few days later and the suit is still there, although it had been moved... who knows.
Thank you to the unsuspecting Ebay seller for allowing me to destroy a suit that had been only worn once and for a fraction of the cost of a new suit (I looked it up, £289 new!)