I stood, shirtless, with my hands, as instructed, in the back pockets of my jeans as the uniformed female police officer slowly poured the contents of a large pot of beans down my pants. How did I get here?

It all started when I attended a speed awareness course. After the long four boring hours I was looking forward to going home when the instructor announced that the course had been chosen to select eight speeding drivers to be publicly humiliated as a warning to others. I vaguely remembered reading about this - some politician promoted it as a way of cracking down on speeding.

Six guys were immediately chosen by the two police officers who had entered the room. All were young and were chosen for having exceeded the speed limit more than anyone else. They were taken out to a waiting van.

We need two more, said the female police officer. Firstly all the women on the course were allowed to leave, as were all the more smartly dressed men. Seven of us were left. I realised that we were all wearing jeans. I had thought about wearing something more formal but my wife suggested I wear Levis as they were more comfortable.

One guy got a bit mouthy and complained. He was immediately told to shut up and ushered out to the van. One place left.

The seven of us left were told to stand in a line. The male police officer told his female colleague - check out which one would hold them best.

We were all told to undo our belts. The female police officer had a look inside the first guy's jeans. Boxer shorts - no good she said. The same happened with the next three. Now it was my turn. The officer pulled up the elastic on my Nike briefs. This one's a possibility she said.

Ok. said the male officer, we'll take him. His female colleague had a look at the other two, Either of them would do to she said. You're a little unlucky she said to me.

Inside the van I was made to sit with the others. They already had their shirts off and sat there, topless, in jeans. I was told to do the same. We were then made to hand over all our possessions and allowed one phone call to explain that the speeding course was extended for another several hours. Our shirts and possessions were then put in plastic bags and labelled.

Looking at the other guys several obviously worked out more than me or played sport. We still had no idea of what awaited us but that would soon change.....

to be continued