Once upon a time, many moons ago, before you were old enough to even think about gunge and games and dares and all that stuff, there was game called Mondopondo, if you were straight, and Mondopondowilde if you were gay. It was a computer game. Not one of those across the internet games, but one which required two people in the same room. Next to each other. The game was a quiz. You answered questions. If you got one right, you won a "pond" (a point, basically). If you got one wrong, you had to choose between truth or dare, and the game would then generate a dare or truth for you. If you did it, you carried on. If you didn't, it would cost you a certain amount of your ponds. The first one to 30 ponds was the winner - which you may have made a separate bet on.

Sadly, monodpondo can't be bought any more (aww), but for some reason I kept it on my PC despite the fact it didn't work on several versions of windows. But on windows 10 it does. So, as I'm bored, I will take you through some of the fun you could have had, in person, playing mondopondowilde. I will go through the game, alone (aww), but answering questions for both players as correctly as I can. When I get one wrong, I will post the forfeit here, so you can see how the game would have panned out. There's not much wet and messy stuff in the game, but enough to be of interest, I think, although you never know what would happen, as dares are in a reasonably random order.

Our two non-existent players are James and Cameron. This is what would have happened.

1st wrong. JAMES. Take off your shoes if you are wearing any.

2nd wrong. CAMERON. Put your hand down James's pants and wank him for 2 minutes

3rd wrong. JAMES. Take off Cameron's socks and lick his toes.

4th wrong. JAMES. Kiss Cameron on both cheeks...of his ass.

5th wrong. CAMERON. James can ask you truth questions for five minutes. Get naked if you refuse to answer any.

6th wrong. CAMERON. You must be blindfolded, and then guess three foods or drinks by their smell alone. Each one you get wrong goes over your head.

7th wrong. CAMERON. Eat a raw egg or put it down the back of your pants and sit down.

8th wrong. CAMERON. Get a facial tongue bath from James.

9th wrong. JAMES. Take off your trousers and underwear. Use a sock to cover yourself.

10th wrong. JAMES. Allow Cameron to play with your nipples, and tweak them, for 60 seconds.

11th wrong. CAMERON. Blindfolded, you must get naked and redressed again in 2 minutes.

12th wrong. CAMERON. Free dare.

13th wrong. CAMERON. Have a jug of cold water poured over your head.

14th wrong. CAMERON. Cold shower. 30 seconds.

15th wrong. CAMERON. Give James a blow job for one minute

16th wrong. JAMES. You must be tied to the bed and tickled for 2 minutes.

17th wrong. JAMES. Let Cameron torture your nipples, cock and balls with an ice cube until it melts.

18th wrong. JAMES. You are to receive ten spanks.

19th wrong. CAMERON. James is going to slap you in the face with his cock ten times.

20th wrong. JAMES. Do a naked handstand.

21st wrong. CAMERON. You must strip naked and stand in the bath, naked, for 5 minutes. James can do what he wants to you during this time.

22nd wrong. JAMES. Eat a food of your choice off Cameron's chest.

23rd wrong. JAMES get naked. Cameron can get dressed.

24th wrong. JAMES lick Cameron's armpits.

25th wrong. JAMES. Lie on the bed. Cameron can now wank for three minutes. If he manages to cum in that time, he had can do it over you.

26th wrong. JAMES. If there is an electric toothbrush handy, Cameron can use it on your cock and balls - without toothpaste.

27th wrong. CAMERON. Ten naked star jumps and ten naked push-ups.