I have videos of myself getting pied by a friend who I had made about a year ago.
We got along great, and she was happy to help with the Pie in the Face videos.
We had known each other long enough that I had asked if she would want to join me and help me make some straight-up, SFW, Comedy-Focused Messy videos- Recreating classic slapstick routines and jokes since I have a lot for that separate from any kink. I was happily helping her with stuff like that and, by her admission had "Made life easier since becoming part of it". There was nobody in her life she didn't tell me about, no secrets, I just know that (like everyone) she still had an outside life. Just wanna make it clear- There's nothing I did or could have done.

More important than that though, even if she didn't wanna do that stuff- We were friends.

She lives in the same neighborhood, minutes away, or at least did. I'm pretty sure she moved. Last I had heard she was excited to make the videos and lamented not having seen in me in so long. She had several things that belonged to me, that I left in her car or at her house.

Can't get a hold of her to save my life now. I don't begrudge her for anything- Especially when I don't know what happened, but I know it's best to just forget about her. As much as that's not something I like to do with people I care about, considered a FRIEND- the only thing I feel bitter about, which I think is fair- Is the fact that she seems to have completely ignored me, and moved on to- Who knows?

Before I hear "Maybe she didn't wanna do the wam stuff?"- I've thought about EVERY OPTION there could be. Considering she had asked me to help her take and sell foot pics for an entirely different Fetish site, plus the fact that she began asking about when we would film the WAM before I would mention it in conversation, her expressing excitement for something she thought was fun - And the fact that I would ALWAYS ask at some point "You're still game? It's fine if not." to which she emphatically tell me "I'm game" - RESPECTFULLY, I doubt it had anything to do with the Wam. She had nobody that would have NOT wanted her to do it and she was always free to change her mind.

I know I only have text to work with online- But I know how to communicate with people, I'm not awkward around people, I don't bring up random stuff like my fetishes- And, like her, I was completely alone at this period in my life. Even though, I can say quite confidently- I'm a good person.

Did she get sick? Don't know. Did she have to move because a family member needed her? Don't know. Was she abducted by aliens? Don't know. Do I live close enough for to have easily left a letter or at least stopped by my door to say goodbye? Yes.

We were friends to each other when we needed each other most, but I will never know why she just suddenly disappeared. It's not the first time I've only had ONE friend that decided to essentially abandon me.

I bring up the WAM stuff to illustrate how quickly we made good friends, being able to share such a unique interest- but the bigger point here is, I'm past my 20's and believe in meaningful human interactions. I only mean to express my frustration with being "ghosted" as the only option I have is to, overnight, decide that someone who meant a lot at just the right time and was a great friend- Is someone that I'm better off forgetting.

I'm sorry if that seems odd to other people for some reason- and it's easier for them to just dismiss and forget someone because they did the same. Why hold out hope or want to give someone a chance?

I was going to post this in the forums, but I'm sure people will see my mindset as something to question or argue- I doubt I'll get what I may be stupidly expecting from a "community" in the form of "support" by way of sympathy, similar experiences, advice, or reassurance.

I'm sure people want to tell me how unhealthy it is to even write something like this. I don't doubt that people have no problem, or even a desire to try telling me about something I haven't considered. Some deep insight I haven't gleaned from my own life, but something they KNOW is clear as day and needs to tell from reading one passage about a life that's not theirs.

And since all guys are potentially just looking for an opening to be sexually repugnant and exploitative- I doubt any women on the website have even read this far.

Not that this website doesn't have any friendly, supportive women in it-
But I've never talked to one. It's not like I had mostly female teachers for the majority of my youth in a Montessori school where they were like mothers and I had fellow female students who I saw as sisters. It's too much of a risk that I'm a creeper right?

Me? Being platonic friends with a woman on a fetish website?
Why would I want to know a female who I can talk to about a shared interest? I guess as long as I'm potentially putting on a big act. I completely understand why barely ANY FEMALES ON THIS WEBSITE interact with me. Not like there's anyone who could speak for my character. Not like it makes me sick to think of mistreating a woman.

Easier to self-affirm that I'm the one to have made such a good friend so quickly, and all it will take is getting back out in the world more, doing more things and naturally meeting more people. Considering every girl I've ever been in a relationship with was someone who approached me, and I'm polite to everyone I meet in real life- I'm sure this is just a setback I can move past.

It just sucks to have someone you care about, basically disappear. For the sake of this website, it sucks even more when they were more than happy to join me in friendly slapstick exploits.