So I have always wondered how many of us there are. It seems like about 1000 profiles on umd, maybe there's more but messy lovers are rare, hopefully there's way more but How to find them?? And that brings me to the question that dominated my youth; "am I the only one who likes this!?" I had known I had the fetish for about 5 years before I knew it was something that could happen to somebody else. I remember feeling so.... Screwed I guess that I got "stuck" with this thing that made me love what other people say is gross, or humiliating, why does it make me feel good? What will people think, and what does doing this imply about me? Am I a monster? Lol well I spent those years watching kids shows and movies and I mentally categorized every second of messy behavior in all my favorite shows. That's what getting messy was, at that time, just a repurposing of shows not made to turn anyone on. I did start to feel bad about this, then one night while my parents were asleep a show came on hbo.... Real sex #24. I wasent beating off, I was staring. Shocked to my core because I was sure I came up with this, and I would be alone in loving it. Apparently the entire time I was growing up feeling like a solitary freak, splosh! Magazine had been there showing girls get messy. I dident even give a damn about messy girls, all I could think was. "People do this ! People do this! More than just me, there ARE people out there who will understand what I like " people... Every person has a drive to find others to share passions and loves, and those of us who grew up feeling alone or isolated because of getting messy need to know they aren't alone, they aren't bad, it's not that weird if you decide your ok with it
After all if nobody knows about it and you are telling them about it the first time, they will look at how you perceive gunge to help make their opinion, If it's a funny, sexy, exciting secret to you, others might pick up on that. However if it's a deep wellspring of shame and guilt when you talk to others about it, that may just be how they look on it as well.

I used to be too afraid to post pics, because of course what if somebody who knows me sees me gunged!!! Oh nooooooo right? Did it ever occur to me that if I knew somebody, and that somebody saw me on a messy website, then that somebody was LOOKING at a messy site on there own, and actually if that happened that means I would already be friends with somebody who liked being messy!! That's been a lifelong goal so why did I ever fear coming on to the messy community?

Shame and fear. That simple. Even tho my gf loved gunge when I was 17 I still would never never accept I would find a partner that had fun getting me messy, fun even, not even turned on but just not hating doing that activity. I dident believe anybody would like it even a little, prolly since I knew I liked it so much. I was convinced pies aren't fun !! I mean hell if you are a regular guy and you tell your girlfriend to throw a pie in your face thinking of some annoying thing you've done, she may have a little fun. You don't always have to be a fetishist to enjoy getting to pie somebody, but I had it made up in my mind that I would be imposing too much just to ask to be pied, not even gunge another.
I really believed it would creep out and disgust people if I told them, I really believed that saying what I was into one time could shatter my friendships.
I believed if I told my friends about myself they wouldent a WANT a friend like me.

This girl from my past actually isent even the only girl I've been able to talk about messy things with. And even that fact wouldent stop me from saying "I must have manipulated this, I love gunge and food fights and being ok with how I look, and that's what this represents to me and I want that and that must mean I pushed her into doing this. I dident want my fetish to hurt somebody, so I ran. I ran even though Anna showed me that girl or boy, people in General can just like being messy.

I was so worried I was forcing something not sexy on others by bringing up gunge, but
Actually no, i can look myself right in the eye now and say honestly I did not coerce her back then, we were talking already and joking all the time and the game we played together introduced digital pies to throw (they did like 1 damage) we all played around and joked and after a few days I started to realize Anna dident want to stop talking about pieing me. She liked that a boy would let her do that, she liked that it was different, and soon I found a slightly hesitant email that contained a messy scenario shed like to do to me. I told her I had always liked it, and always wanted to do it, we even openly discussed the fact that I was pretty sure I would get hard and I was scared she would be disgusted by my arousal. We basicly decided that if I could behave then we could ignore my privates and have that pure messy Experiance. We both agreed we weren't ready for sex, we were both virgins, we even covered the sexual aspects of being in a mess together, touching each other and pouring things over our selves

I actually met a girl who jumped at the idea of pieing, gunging and being pied and gunged by a guy.
but I did not have a part of me that could accept her interest honestly. Since I dident really know exactly where me liking gunge came from it was shocking to see somebody else genuinely enjoy it. Before I knew it she was sending me great fun emails and every day she had new food items or techniques to apply the mess.

I'll always remember you Anna and I'll always remember your Hershey's syrup water balloon idea. I can't believe I haven't made those yet. Guess I don't want to think of the gunge that got away lol
Now I know there's more messy people out there keeping hidden , or simply undiscovered. It's never been as bad telling friends or girls that I get messy as I imagined. All I had to do was to say this: gunge makes me happy, being happy is good, and I know I won't hurt somebody to get what I want, so I don't need this guilt or fear anymore.
I'm lucky enough to have a boyfriend who supports my messy side, he's there to hit send if I get shy, and I am feeling so good about being my messy self these days.
All of us messy people should push past our comfort zones a little bit. Why is it that the most anti messy ideas are sometimes the self doubts of those who actually love it. I'm tired of imagining strangers will hate gunge like I used to tell myself. If somebody knows I'm bi, if a man or woman already knows what my privates look like, why this fear of sharing what's honestly a little less sexual than some of my other links that my friends also know I like.

To say it another way, being pied is supposed to be sillier and more acceptable then getting your butt pounded. So if your friends know that you do that, why not ease up on feeling like a big pie is such a big deal.
Sure some people might laugh seeing that or you like that, but isent that what we want? Silliness and joy, laughter and food all over? I love my friends, and I love that I was able to make them laugh showing some G rated messy pics of myself.
More than that though, I love that I'm not afraid of gunge. I can say it to a persons face now and every time I do everything proves time and time again to be ok.

Messy people come out and love your passion! There's no need to be afraid, just like how smushing that first pie in your face felt so free and confident, taking a chance sharing with somebody you trust something you've always feared and kept secret feels the same way.

Don't be too focused on imagining rejection that you forget your friends might really be honored in having your trust, having seen you true, and more vulnerable and real then just a stranger.
Not everybody feels thus way about friends, I know, and that's ok, but for me since my family is what it is I have always loved my friends as a surrogate family. I feel really supported and ok being me now that I got friends who are still there for me once they learned this about me