People often ask me about how I got into WAM, so I thought it would make sense to write the story in a blog.

I met my husband, let's call him Ed, on a dating site. Before we met, I had been married twice before, engaged a few times and had relationships with both men and women..I was pretty experienced sexually where Ed had been married to one very vanilla and closed -minded woman for many years, and that was the sum total of his sexual experience. I vividly remember wanting to blow his mind with amazing, adventurous sex from the first time we slept together. Our first time was also his first experience of anal. I wanted to begin our sex life with a bang.(!)

Four months into the relationship he took me with him on a business trip to France and I remember us walking hand in hand through the twilight streets of Arras and having one of those new-relationship conversations about turn-ons and secret desires. I think conversations like that are often more like foreplay and I was listing things we might try in the bedroom. I had been an avid attendee of Ann Summers parties for years and had a couple of tubes of chocolate body paint I'd never even opened in my drawer at home. When I casually brought the idea up with Ed his reaction reminded me exactly of Carol's from Friends when Ross suggests to her the idea of a threesome! He was SO enthusiastic and his enthusiasm was infectious, leading us into a discussion on types of chocolate substances we might use, chocolate sauce etc and him tentatively saying to me, 'I really like the idea of A LOT of sauce.' But still at that point I still had no idea that what he was describing to me was WAM.

After that initial discussion it was me looking up on Amazon for catering sized cartons of chocolate sauce. He told me recently he remembers being at work and me sending him a link to what I'd ordered and how excited he was. Then he posed the idea of using a paddling pool as that would keep the mess contained. STILL I only thought of it as fun with food and us having a sexy funny time. I think the way I saw it was that his turn on was food on the body in the cliched sense of whipped cream squirted on boobs or syrup drizzled across the stomach then licked away. Oddly, I think it took for me to be sitting in that paddling pool four inches deep in warm, oozy chocolate while Ed poured jugful's over my hair and body in an ever increasing frenzy, for me to think..ok maybe this is a sort of fetish? There is more to it than I realised. I think how grateful he seemed to me afterwards also spoke volumes. I think he put me on a pedestal that day that I'm still on even now, in his eyes.

In recognising that there was an element of fetish to what Ed was into, I did some googling of messy sex generally and came across web pages describing it as sploshing, and that was the first time I had ever heard of such a thing. I was so naive I actually spoke to him about what I'd found, informing him that what he was into had a name and there were websites all about it. As though he didn't already know!!! Duh..! There followed a sheepish admittance that he not only knew it was called sploshing, but that he already knew of all the sites having been a user of them most of his adult life. It was at that point we had a full and frank conversation about the whole thing. He told me he had brought up the idea with his ex and that he had 'never seen anybody look more disgusted' which just fired me up to make sure I never ever made him feel that way and instead embraced WAM as the fun, sexy thing it really is.

There are a couple of instances in my past which make me think I was always potentially more open to the idea of WAM. One I wrote about in my first blogthe other was a mud fight with a girl at the farm I grew up on. Both were nice experiences, but overall I just feel like Ed eased me into the whole thing very gently almost without me realising he was doing it!
I think for anyone wishing to introduce WAM into their relationship, it is potentially better to do it earlier in a relationship rather than later..I mean far in enough that trust has been built, but definitely in that early phase of lots of sex and experimentation. And I think to start off with the idea of the more acceptable side of food/ sex like whipped cream or chocolate body paint, then go forward from there.

At the end of the day, fetish is a powerful thing and sex is such a driving force, I'm pretty sure that anyone as much into WAM as Ed will always seek out messy content despite the confines of their relationship. If Ed is going to go looking for pictures of messy women with custard covered boobs to wank over, then I would far rather they are mine