While staying in a hotel in deepest Kazakstan I encountered the most enticing and, unfortunately most complicated shower I have ever seen. It had an electronic control panel and after poking about with the stupid, ill-considered thing for several frustrating minutes it had failed to fulfil its destiny, did not yield a drop, so I had to nip down to reception to get help.
There was a considerable language problem, (by which I don't mean my ranting about the fucking shower) but receptionist was a lovely young woman dressed in a tight knee length cotton skirt with a nicely placed vent, seamed sheer black tights and a surprisingly thin white satin blouse through which her bra straps could be seen. . who then returned to my room with me, headed into the bathroom presumably to show me how to operate it!
So, there I am in this beautiful bathroom with a beautiful woman who has one foot in the shower unit as she sets up the controls, bending forward looking absolutely gorgeous and tempting. At this point I catch sight of myself in the mirror and I'm quietly laughing my head off at the situation. You wait a lifetime for this only to find out that the story might finish in a Kazak jail.

Of course what should have happened is she runs a test but instead of the water coming out of the wand it comes gushing from the rain thingy. Oooh! she squeals, and in a language unknown to me, all down my blouse! I can't possibly return to reception in a transparent blouse et-bloomin'-cetera, fill in with cliches of your own choosing.

With the Kazak jail in the back of my mind I avoided asking for a photo but couldn't resist aiming the iPhone in her direction a bit later. The fuzzy results are all I have as I chew my fists at the memory. Ahhh....