Why does the world think that all of us old people, have given up sex? My sagging boobs seemed to be competing in a limbo competition of how low can you go. The truth was I looked older than I felt and my cunt was rarely wet but what was lube for if not for Grannies? The world seemed to have decided all I was good for was baking and knitting. Knit one Purl one.
Then I hit 68 and the film was released and my life has never been the same since. I have apple trees in my garden and young lads sometimes climbed over for "scrumping " (a word used for apple stealing in my day) I was known for my apple pie. My golden crisp pastry combined with the best apples served with a nice dollop of clotted cream, it really was heaven in a dish. The film was American Pie.
Would you believe he was 19 and still a virgin and I did not see him climb into the garden. I heard the back door creak, as I sat in the armchair in my lounge. I pretended to be asleep and saw hands grasp the plate of blackberry and apple pie from the hatchway to the kitchen. I could hear sounds of movement and I thought the safest thing to do was pretend to be asleep until he had gone, but 5 minutes later he was still there. My curiosity got the better of me and I got and sneaked to the doorway .I was no longer built for speed ,but stealth was still part of my repertoire. I found myself looking at a toned male bottom and thrusting hips, with pants and jeans around his knees.
"And what young man are you ding to my pie," I asked as sternly as I could manage. Thank god, I had my false teeth in. Startled he turned. His grasped the pie so tightly it exploded all over him. He froze for a second and my eyes feasted on his impressive endowment, and I felt something unexpected. I felt horny. He started turning whilst trying to cover himself with his hands and almost fell because he had not pulled up his pants or trousers. He glanced at the door and then at me.
"If you run I will have to tell people and somebody will see those blackberry stains and know what you did, so there is no point in running." I suggested. He looked at me quizzically, but I could see he was not convinced. He pulled up his jeans and pants a little and was about to try again to escape.
"I could wash your clothes, and nobody would know you had been here," I offered. He looked so relieved that I knew I had him.
"Okay, you need to take your clothes off and I will put them in the machine," I said. He started to strip trying to cover his erection."
"It was Peter's idea. He told me to do it. He said you would be asleep all afternoon," he explained. "He will be waiting for me."
"Text him one word "amazing" nothing else," I told him. I put his clothes in the washing machine and with a smile I turned the control to boil wash. I walked across the kitchen stepping in as much of the mess as I could and sat down on the kitchen chair.
"My feet need cleaning but bending down is hard at my age," I said.
"Okay" he said unsure of what was expected.
"Come here and kneel in front of me. Don't worry about covering it. You have already shown me and anyway you will need your hands. ", I instructed. He complied and grasped my left ankle.
"What do I use?" he asked.
"Your tongue," I replied and despite obvious reluctance he began to lick my nylon clad feet. The black berry and apple had made it more palatable. When he had finished, I put my feet down and one accidentally strayed into his lap pressing his erection against himself. I wanted I so much but knew I had to take it slow.
My kitchen was full of pies for the WI. They had been cooling on a trolley and I asked him to bring them over. With his hands on the trolley I could see his throbbing cock swing as he walked.
"Can you fetch the cream?" I asked and I asked him to put it on the coffee table next to me. I signalled for him to sat down failing to mention the warm apple on the seat. He started to sit down but felt the warmth below and paused.
"Yes, sit down," I confirmed and he gingerly rested his buttocks on the warm pie before putting his whole weight on it.
"A pie needs cream," I said and took a handful of clotted cream rubbing it over his hard cock and its testicle entourage. I felt him tense as I then pressed his crown into the warm apple sauce. I released him concerned he might give the pie a little premature cream. I pelted him with 4 pies as he stood up, his face, two in his chest and one in his groin. Then another on his ass as he got down on all fours. He was nervous about losing his virginity, but I reassured him he could use his fingers to explore me first, whilst I gratefully thanked the lord for thinking of that excuse. I pulled my skirt up around my waist and ripped a huge hole in my tights. I parted my legs wider than I had for years. I am sure my knees felt they were estranged.
I was so horny but too dry. I pulled my pants to one side and told him to apply it. Perfect but wait I had another idea.
"It's too much I said lick it off and do it again," I ordered once then twice more before realising he would probably guess my motivation if I did it again. He explored me with his fingers, clumsy but enthusiastic. He fumbled but to glorious effect it felt fantastic. He touched me ad
"Take me now," I told him knowing I would not last much longer. He pushed into my cunt stretching me and filling me. opening me up more.
"Fuck me, Fuck me hard." I moaned; To my delight he had continued to rub my clit making it itch not for anticipation but more urgently for climax.
"Yes, yes" I begged, and I came with a shudder my whole existence exulted The orgasm took over from head to toe and I was aware he had finished inside me and seemed to be shrinking before I was overcome. The next thing I realised was that he was opening the washing machine.
"Look" he said showing me his shrunken clothes
"Oh, dear you might have to wear some of mine" I said grabbing a dress and a pair of tights that I had in a pile of washing ready to put away.
"Send your mate a text. Thank him for sending you here. Tell him the old lady is away and you have been with her 21-year-old niece who is house sitting. Tell she is gorgeous and so horny," I dictated. Almost immediately there was a reply.
"What?" was all it said,
Then "Ha, ha, ha" followed
"She has a fantasy she wants a threesome, the old lady is back tomorrow," I told him to respond
"Ps do you want anal?" I told him to add.
"I am on the way" we received.
"Her fantasy involves finding another man naked in her bed after she comes out of the shower. When you get here the front door is unlocked go straight up the stairs into the main bedroom, strip naked and put your clothes on the chair inside the door of the bedroom." I instructed.
He arrived and I couldn't believe it he did exactly as asked. After allowing ten minutes I opened the door, grabbed his clothes leaving him the dress and tights his mate had not put on.
"Listen very carefully. You are in an old lady's bedroom, naked and uninvited. I have locked you in and am deleting the text messages on your phone. Put on the dress and tights and I will give you further instructions," I shouted through the locked door.
Maybe that is a story for another day.