I've only been a member on here for a few weeks, but I'd been lurking as a visitor for a good few years, six or seven at least. For assorted reasons unimportant at the moment I've never been particularly open about being one of life's subs but gave in to temptation about fifteen years ago and made an appointment with a local dominatrix, thoroughly enjoying the experience sufficient to book another session at which I expressed a desire to be pied whilst tied up. On the off chance my mistress of choice hadn't heard of sloshing, I'd taken a bag containing paper plates, shaving cream and a back issue or two of Splosh (I used to have almost a complete print run at the time). Some of you will know what I mean when I say it was almost as much fun telling mistress what I wanted as it was to receive, that squirming blushy moment when you reveal one of your darker desires. "OK then" quoth she. "Can't imagine getting pied in the face is a common occurrence. Unless you're a clown." And with that my next fantasy took shape. That afternoon I was pied while strapped to a cross, Mistress even fielding a call from one of her mates and inviting her round to have a go, just to really revel in my humiliation. If you've bothered getting this far congratulations and you'll probably know what I mean when I say it was a pretty fucking amazing afternoon. Mistress Paula of Coventry, in case anyone is wondering. Anyway, that set in motion a new fantasy whereby I was forced to undergo a clowny makeover before getting pied to shit. As unlikely as it may appear, this was wankfodder for a while until stumbling across this site and Candy Custard in particular a few years ago. After a characteristic degree of procrastination I made contact with the lady and outlined my requirements, excitement running paramount upon receipt of her return email expressing enthusiasm for such an endeavour. I really don't know how I slept the night before, even now. After a drive of some one and a half hundred miles (for the benefit of any Americans, that's a fucking 3 or 4 hour ordeal over here) I was ushered in by Candy herself, who later described me as resembling a frightened rabbit at exactly this point. I'd requested a forced clown makeover then a dessert based trashing and Jesus's hairbrush, she didn't disappoint.. This was the first time I'd ever come clean to someone about my desire to be messed up and certainly the first time I'd ever been anything more than pied either by myself before another tragic wank or by the aforementioned dominatrix. I've never been so messy in my life.. Proper creamy custard pie sandwich, bucket of warm porridge over my head and down my pants, fuck ton of custard tipped over my head, it was just magic. Some of you will have met her and will agree with me what a delight she is. Having just looked her up it seems she's not currently doing sessions, so I feel doubly privileged to have had the experience when I did. I'd like to take the fantasy further but in a darker direction with a more demanding taskmistress but I'll cherish the memory of that afternoon forever.