A-sploshing in the yard one day
A fair maid she did gaily play
Mixing up the goop and slime
Planning out a messy time

When into view a figure came
Black velvet cloak, dress of the same
Her hood was up to hide her face
Yet her voice echoed throughout the place

She lifted up a hand so pale
With raven painted fingernails
Put down those pies! she spake grimly,
For I am Death; Ive come for thee!

Our maiden cried out, Nay, please nay!
Allow me just more time to play!
Im much too young, and still too clean
Next week I was going to try baked beans!

But Lady Death just shook her head
You must away with me, she said
I care not for your custard flans
For destiny has other plans.

The maiden flicked aside her hair
Then come and take me, if you dare
I shant go down without a fight
Thou fiendish creature of the night.

So thats your wont, said Lady Death,
To challenge me with thine dying breath.
She was interrupted suddenly,
As a cream pie nailed her perfectly.

Lady Death removed her cowl,
Her pale face wore a nasty scowl
She petulantly wiped the mess
Dripping from her face and dress

Thou naughty mortal, the dark Lady fumed
Thou must prepare to be consumed!
Tits to you, Miss! mocked the maid
And sprayed the spectre with lemonade

Before Lady Death could catch her air
She felt something cold land in her hair
A sweet yellow ooze ran down her face
And slopped about all o'er the place

Mere custard shall not hinder me,
Spake the apparition furiously
The maid snatched up a pail of soup
And soaked the ghoul in orange goop

Brief mortal, ye shall rue the time
You chose to challenge me with slime!
For I am of eternity
And none commands more gunge than me!

She snapped her fingers, and appeared,
(although this might sound rather weird)
A spectral bucket of purest dread
Hovering oer our maidens head

The maiden looked up with surprise
A torrent hit between her eyes
Of ectoplasmic slime of green
The likes of which yed never seen

The slime kept coming, far much more
Than any earthly vessel could store
When finally the flow did stop
She could scarce be seen from within the slop

Lady Death smiled evily
What do think of that? said she
Very nice, spoke the lass in goo
But is that the best that you can do?

The Dark Lady scowled, and gestured hard
When at once there flooded through the yard
A tidal wave of slime bright pink
Both were submerged within the drink

The maiden lost track of the time
They swam together in that slime
When as suddenly as it had come, it passed
Leaving them dripping on the grass

The maiden gave a messy sigh
Well, if for truth my time is nigh,
At least you brought such messy glee
And so I shall submit to thee.

Very well, said Lady Death
Prepare to take thine dying breath!
Though verily I must confess
We had a lot of fun in mess

Thou messy mortal, soothe your head
I like you better gunged than dead
I shall return another time
To play with you once more in slime.

With that the Lady winked and smiled
Bade farewell to the messy child
Her dripping cowl she once more donned
And with a breeze of eerie wind, was gone

The Maiden settled sloppily down
Wringing out her gooey gown
Soaked as thoroughly as a sponge
Farewell, my Mistress of the gunge.