After over a year of wanting to, I finally worked up the courage to put myself forward in the Birthday Game thread last year. Originally, I had intended to do a write up of the experience right away but it got away from me. I decided better late than never. To start I should list out what my presents were:

1) a lovely gooey cake to sit on

2) You already have cake so let's add some ice cream. You can take it frozen and let it melt over you if you're a glutton for punishment. Letting it get soupy and melted in the fridge is fine too, but it still has to be cold when you dump it over your head no matter what! Roll a 4-sided dice to decide how much:
1: a personal ice cream tub
2: a family sized ice cream tub
3: a party sized ice cream tub
4: pick an ice cream topping to add to your mess and roll again
I rolled a 1

3) have a pie helmet!

4) a tin of beans over your head
This one fell out of my comfort zone, so I substituted in a bucket of chunky green slime.

5) place at least one row of large pies on the floor equivalent to your height. Position yourself over them in a press up position and lower yourself into them! Then have fun!

6) a pie sandwich present from me. A real custard pie, topped off with a mound of foam. Can be to each side of your head, or your crotch and ass

7) Have a thick bucket of gunge!!

I'm not 100% sure about that last one, but I remember having 7 dares when I did this. Unfortunately, several of the people who gave me dares have since deleted their accounts. There was a lot of prep work to do before I could get started. First, I bought a funfetti cake, a personal tub of dairy free vanilla ice cream, applesauce and oatmeal and vanilla pudding for the chunky slime, two egg custard pies, a tub of cool whip, and lots of shaving cream for the other pies. I believe I mixed some flour into water and heated it on the stove to thicken it for the bucket of gunge.

Once everything was prepared, I had to set up the bathroom for my mess. I placed a lawn chair in the shower and set the cake on the seat. Everything else was arranged around the bathroom to be within arms reach. This was when I sprayed out all my shaving cream pies (11 or 12 I think). The last thing I did was retrieve the ice cream from the fridge (yes, I chickened out and let it melt in the fridge).

I took off all my clothes and stepped into the bathroom. First things first, I got in front of the chair and slowly lowered myself down into the cake. The sensation was wonderful, but it felt wrong destroying such a delicious looking cake. Overall I'd say cake sitting is fun, but next time I will try to find a cheaper cake or make one at home.

With my butt thoroughly covered in cake, it was time to move on to the ice cream. I had been dreading this part because I hate being cold. I held the small tub above my head and slowly tilted it until the contents were emptied onto the top of my head. As I recall, there was a lump of unmelted ice cream in there as well. I'm really glad I got lucky and rolled a 1 for this because it could have been so much worse.

If I did these in the order they were given to me, the pie helmet would be next. I'm almost certain that I loved this part. Knowing myself, I probably started with a pie hat and followed it up with the pie to the back of the head. After that, I would have made a pie sandwich. Lastly, I would finish off with a pie to my face. Only after all the pies were in place would I allow myself to remove the paper plates. I don't distinctly remember this one, so I'm making assumptions. I love any excuse to get covered in shaving cream because it feels so good on my skin. The only downside to this is that the shaving cream is a bitch to get out of my ears afterwards.

Now it was time for the green slime. I made this in a small bucket, so there was probably more mess there than if I had done the tin of beans I had originally been given. I want to say I cleared away some of the shaving cream before starting to pour because I remember exactly how this one felt. The sensation of the thick chunky ooze running down my skin was very unpleasant. I'm really not sure what was so off-putting about this. On paper, I should have loved it. Maybe if I did another chunky slime today I would enjoy it more.

Here's where things get really dicey as far as my memory is concerned. The next two items would be numbers six and seven above. I put them at the end of my list because the original posts have been deleted and no one quoted them later. I know the custard pies were a thing because I remember it being hard to find any at the grocery store. I'm assuming the next item was the gunge, which I would have kept in the pot I used to heat and thicken it. I doubt it was much to write home about given that I've pretty much stopped using the heated flour and water method to make slime. The results were never worth the effort to make it.

Unfortunately, the custard pies also failed to live up to expectations. The custard pies I picked up from the store were just too hard. They left no satisfying mess on my face on their own. Fortunately, I had a tub of cool whip on top of them, so I still got creamed. I guess I was just hoping the pies would be gooier. If anyone tells me to make another custard pie, I'm just putting custard in a pie crust.

This takes us to the final gift. I think it would have taken 6 pies to match my height. I do remember getting really excited as I moved the chair out of the way and put the final pies into position. I was already thoroughly messed up by this point, so it must have been a challenge getting positioned. I slowly lowered myself into the pies. It was great, like laying into a bed of shaving cream. After the last two disappointments, this was a great high note to end on.

At this point I should come up with some final thoughts. I clearly enjoyed the overall experience because I put my name back in for 2026. Moreover, where I only gave just under 3 weeks for dares in 2025, I put my name in a full 5 1/2 months in advance for 2026. On the other hand, more than half of my dares for 2025 were not to my liking. While putting this together, I found something I wrote not long after doing my Birthday mess. I wrote that I could probably ignore the Birthday Game moving forward because some of the dares were out of my comfort zone.

Did I just forget how much I didn't like doing some of these dares? Has something managed to change my mind since then? I don't have the answers. At the end of the day, I think I just enjoy being out of control. By putting my name forward in the Birthday Game, I let other people decide what my Birthday mess looks and feels like.

I would like to thank everyone who sent me dares in 2025. Even if I didn't enjoy them at the time, I'm grateful for the memories. I promise to get my write up done sooner for my 2026 Birthday Game mess. If you haven't already, please consider giving me a dare in the Birthday Game (>