Safety, behavior, moral, respect for women, full identity given in ID/IP

I am giving my 2 cents but first an interesting point of view :

wamajama said : Unfortunately, any site that permits (intentionally or not) a degree of anonymity is going to be abused by some users. The only real solution is to require that everyone who uses the site (whether to post comments, just "lurk", or to to sell videos or all of the above) must register with a copy of their legal ID, which is kept in a secure location...yes, nothing is totally "secure" on the WWW, but I will note the number of people selling videos on the site now, and all of these sellers must register with a copy of their 1099 (which has lots of identifying info, so...)

However, if implemented now, this would require all current users to submit a new registration (some established members may resist this), and new (potential) members might balk at the ID requirements. Most likely, many would not go along with this solely on the basis of (the lack of true) Internet/WWW security around their identity. New membership will slow or decline. there will be lots of lurkers, but few posters (account holders). Maybe.

Perhaps this issue of anonymity is really fallout from the way the site was originally designed; it was always viewed as an "obscure" or "niche" fetish (this despite the fact that the site gets millions of hits per month, more than most any other fetish site) and so was made to be as welcoming and open to everyone as possible in order to make it grow. This was not a bad thing, initially.

Now we need to find an effective way to keep certain members from harassing other members. There will be no perfect solution* At least this thread gets the discussion going.

* Maybe have all members 'sign' (digitally) an agreement not to harass any other member (and 'harass' needs to be clearly defined) or, if found to be in violation (an account is tracked to more than one harassment; two strikes and you're out) be put on 'probation' (which a user can look up before accepting a friend invite or PM)....although this plays into the 'Scarlet Letter' issue.
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Hello, I am a newcomer here and I find this topic very important and very welcome. I absolutely agree with Wamajama's opinion. Because a person decided to behave properly and respectfully, will have no difficulty to give real ids of her social life, having nothing to reproach himself for in the past or in the future. It is also very interesting for a person with the project to become a producer, as is my case currently, to boost the confidence of future models with who he might wish to work. This is a very important element to build healthy things. Now there are 3 problems that come up immediately, in spite of this desire of things established in a healthy way. (This aspect is even briefly mentioned on my profile "healthy limits".) 1) The items of good will (complete identity) may be used against the registered user for harming him, by a malicious person. 2) The hackers who are more skilled than ever can hack the site (this is seen on sites, owned by big and famous enterprises, and caused many scandals, isn't it ?) Allo Houston, we have a problem ! 3) there are people who are OK with all points of view here but do NOT wish that what they are doing here on UMD, which is weird even if it is nice, could be known outside there. You see the problems ? How to do well ? As we say in French (I'm French) "c'est la prise de tete"... it means it's really hard to find good solutions. Best respects to all !

This thread can be read in full extent here :

https://umd.net/forums/etiquette-female-harassment-on-the-umd?start=30

Potatoman added this - interesting : know one solution, but people won't like it. Make the site require your personal information to register. I mean something that is government issued. It wouldn't be shown publicly, but it would be on file. If you harass someone, it gets sent to the cops, end of story. Models have to do this, why not consumers too?
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Dalamar added this and I agree : I think that a zero tolerance policy would be awesome. No matter how long you have been a member on the boards or the chatroom. If you cannot be respectful you are gone. If you think about it, it make no sense. Women create the content a lot of people come here for. Yes I know this is a LGBTQ friendly environment, but still. If you want the content you have to be respectful.
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AlysTX explains to us : 100% agree with Mrs. Bee. I just reactivated my account after being gone several weeks because I felt uncomfortable here due to this exact problem. I came back though, because I shouldn't have to disappear and seek refuge. This is a fetish site and I want to be here. It's my fetish too and I should feel safe here. I do think there should be a block user feature. It's unfortunate that although 98% of my experience has been positive the other 2% made me want to run and hide. --- And she's right.
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BOSUNBOB OUR ADMIN AND MODERATOR tells us AN IMPORTANT THING, keep this in mind : I have a question for anyone who has experienced harassment or any other behaviour by another user here that has annoyed / upset them. This isn't criticism I'm just trying to understand how we can go about making the site better:

Did you contact the moderation team about it and if not why not?

At present I am getting none of the stuff mentioned on this thread reported to me. To me that means that either people don't know about the moderation team or for some other reason they are put off doing it.
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Mrs Bee gives us a good part of some hints and tips : "...and just don't tolerate disrespectful talk or illiterate messages, and I'm completely comfortable with calling someone on it in a private message. I will tell them "I don't permit anyone to speak to me in that fashion. Please don't message me again." If they message me again, I delete it without even opening it. Perhaps I should have just reported it? I don't know, I always felt like I didn't need to report something unless it was particularly egregious...." --- a middle way to manage things.
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DungeonMasterOne gives a big shake in the table, and he may be right, after all, with a way to
manage all the problems. First he explains :
The underlying problem is social, so any technical fixes are really just treating the symptoms, though that doesn't mean we shouldn't do them, as they will help.

The ability to block users completely is an absolute must. Possibly those with stores should be able to specify whether the block prevents the user seeing their stores as well as their general content or not (this may well be needed with stalker-types), but general users should be able to just block people completely if they want to, and do so easily.

I don't think requiring ID would work, most likely it would just kill the site dead. Bear in mind that those of us who post in the forums are a minute fraction of the total actual membership. I think we effectively have three distinct classes of users who very seldom overlap:
Active forum users. Producers and the regulars.
People who register an account to be able to purchase downloads, but otherwise don't become active users.
People who just look at or collect the free promo photos, some of whom register and some don't.
My suggestions:
Easy to use site-wide block function. With a "show blocked users" page so the user can un-block someone if they change their mind.
Very heavy rate-limit on personal messages for at least first month of membership. Why would anyone need to send more than one or two PMs when they've only just joined? Restrict it to max 5 a day total, and also that once a message is sent to someone, no more can be sent to that user until the first one is replied to. That would avoid the "bombarded with PMs" problem. Restrictions can be relaxed once the member has sent and received a set number of messages without anyone reporting them as harassment.
Option for any user to be able to make the "no more messages untill current one is replied to" setting permanent for messages to themselves.
Rename "flag" to "report"? Not sure how clear "flag" is to people as the way to report something inappropriate.
A page of information for new users warning them about the way some guys will basically try and get them to do the wam equivalent of text sex, often under the guise of arranging a custom but with no intention of actually paying anything.
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