A few more ramblings. I had quite a troubled childhood; lots of good stuff too, but pretty grim at times. Anyway, it led me into a facination of how people tick, especially the often mixed up workings of my own mind. I love it that I'm a mess fetishist; I feel so privaledged to have this extra side to my sexuality. And for me it's kind of like my wilder side showing through. I'm a fairly quiet, introverted person, and it's interesting how much of a turn on I get from making my clips and exhibiting intimate pictures of myself for all to see. Similarly, when I do outdoor mud bathing, a big part of the thrill is the sheer "naughtiness" of it. It's like an important part of who I am is claiming it's rightful place....??....Again, I just feel so lucky to have an extra way of enjoying my sexuality in such a charged, unrestrained, ....joyful way. Just wish I could indulge more often!