Clearly not! Just have a look at the vibrant debate and engagement going on three pages above my head!

Personally, I have found the Messy Minds forum very useful and to certain extent a life saver. If the SS UMD is going to sink (and I doubt of there are any icebergs coming) I will be one of the band playing on deck as it goes down...

L x

Yes, me too.
If you compare UMD with mainstream social media, and bear in mind the nature of the site, I think we're a good place with good values. Peter

I think that younger people see this site and it's community and feel a little out of place (myself included) because the majority of the people posting here are older.

Its like we would rather talk to people our age about it because sometimes is kinda awkward/uncomfortable to talk to people 20 years older about this stuff.

I thought about this a lot and it's a good point that you bring up.

I mean, I am young at heart and luckily I still hit the gym regularly, still pretty athletic and beyond having a speckle of gray here or there, I am still in good shape for my age. Have said all that, I do notice a bit of a gap between myself and the people who I am often around with. Not in any weird sort of way but more like they will say something or ask a question and the first thought in my head is "What? You didn't know that?!" and that is usually where I have to remind myself that I easily have 15 years or more of existence on this planet than some of these folks.

I imagine that road goes both ways in the manner like I was when I was young and exploring this kink. I usually kept to myself. I mean, I had no clue what the hell was going on. I just found out yesterday that this was actually a thing and there exists a place for it. So I can imagine the awkwardness the new generation of wammers might feel about engaging with this community, especially in light of the periodic dramatic episode that pops up here on occasion and the more seasoned vets calling each other on a first name basis.

I get it. I would say go at your own pace. Respond or engage with posts here or there. With any luck, more of the new and younger crowd might chime in a bit more knowing folks like you are on here and are active. If it's nothing but us old and dusty fuckers on here gabbing, there is no way any of the new generation of wammers will know that there are others like them on here. Just my .02.

There is too much sadism involved in the toilet themed posts and the fish guts/rotten food/pet food content.
In my opinion it shows the fetish in a very bad light Instead of coming off as playful and sensuous it comes across as hostile and misogynistic.
The mindset Reminds me of the type of guys who go to strip clubs specifically to embarrass, shame, belittle or humiliate the dancers instead of having a drink having a chat and bit of flirtatious banter.
That stuff is like a turd in the pool.

I think the content you refer to is conveived by the participants as "humiliation", which is part of dom/sub dynamics combined with WAM. Other kinks also can have dom/sub dynamics. I guess it's alright if everyone is OK with participating. What i understood from it (no personal experience) is that it can be very intimate because of the trust it requires, though that's not always obvious when viewing it.

One could argue it may have downsides when rooted from mental issues. E.g. feeling the need to be punished because of low self esteem. Other things to work on these kind of issues might be healthier in the longer term. In any case it should not lead to plain abuse. Or unhealthy dependencies.

Personally i don't feel attracted to dom/sub dynamics, as i'm not dominant and neither feel the need to be submissive. But i haven't tried it.

I think it comes down to good ol' adagium to take (or view) what you like and skip the rest.

Real abuse would not be allowed here and removed when reported, i'm sure.

One solution to one part of one of the problems being discussed:

Can't UMD work with an independent third-party ID verification service? These services exist, and they have a business model which allows, and indeed encourages, them to invest in the technology to do this properly. And they will prize privacy and encryption because, if they get that wrong, they will undermine their own reputation.

I notice a lot of people seem to be blaming the "gross" stuff as a major contributing factor to the change in the vibe of this site. And if you are vegan or exclusively use store-bought substances, I get it, and what I'm about to write doesn't apply to you. But for everyone else who takes issue with the gross stuff:

Nobody complains about lake/pond/river mud, yet that stuff is vile. That stuff is the filled with microbes and dangerous parasites. Flesh eating, brain eating parasites. Not to mention all the decomposed tadpoles, fish, and insects we are bathing in. Meanwhile, blended tuna and dog food has zero microbes and is 100% safe.

And tidal "pluff" mud? I hate to break it to you, but that stuff is barely even mud. It's largely made up of microbe and worm poop. Mostly plant matter, but also many sea creatures. Eaten, decomposed, and pooped out. It produces an overbearing smell of sulfur and dead fish, because it's because it's poop. It may not have the deadly freshwater parasites, but it sure as hell smells like literal death.

Quarries are the "cleanest" option, but a lot of us don't have access to them.

So pretty much, in a good 3rd of the mud videos nobody is complaining about, they are gambling with horrific parasites. In another other 3rd, they are bathing stinky organic soup. Indoor mud pools are the only ones that are "clean", and that only lasts a couple days.

I think we need to stop judging people who are into the "gross" stuff, or at least accept that much of the "clean" stuff was always grosser than the "gross" stuff

I wouldn't say umd has had its day however forums have sort of died off in past few years to a point I'm a member of a few car forums and in past few years they have become less and less busy however during covid they did get busier think due to Facebook and such like forums are a bit in the dark ages but still have there place