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"Developing a WAM fetish later in life."
Love you, too
Interesting question. Presumably yours was developed when you were young?
Most of the evidence, anecdotal and clinical seems to point to the formative and key developmental stages (in the early years of life, through puberty, up to sexual maturity) and coinciding traumatic or highly emotional events and experiences.
My own tastes change and develop but they all hang on the same feelings that were imbued and hard wired very early in life.
Most of the evidence, anecdotal and clinical seems to point to the formative and key developmental stages (in the early years of life, through puberty, up to sexual maturity) and coinciding traumatic or highly emotional events and experiences.
My own tastes change and develop but they all hang on the same feelings that were imbued and hard wired very early in life.
Bringing pleasure to literally tens of people!
Can you develop a fetish ? I'm interested....
I always thought that you dont choose a fetish, it chooses you !
For me I was very young well before puberty and not understanding it as anything more than it made me feel good.
I always thought that you dont choose a fetish, it chooses you !
For me I was very young well before puberty and not understanding it as anything more than it made me feel good.
Cinq X
Mine didn't develop until quite a bit into adulthood. As a child, I was absolutely terrified of getting dirty or messy. I was the type that if I got a drop of spaghetti sauce on my finger at dinner, I had to immediately grab a napkin and completely wipe it off before continuing. BBQ ribs? Fork and knife. Buffalo wings? Fork and knife. You say boys like to play in the mud? I didn't. I also didn't learn to swim as a kid because I couldn't stand water in my face. My autism likely played a role in all of this, given the sensory issues common with autism.
I think it was around my early 20s that I began to accept water in my face and start to learn to swim, followed by accepting that I didn't have to remove mess *immediately* and could eat wings and ribs as finger foods. Around mid-20s, I began to notice sexual arousal for the first time when seeing messy people, and soon after the wet dreams began. I started searching out WAM videos on YouTube, and then in my late 20s I experimented with pieing myself for the first time with paper plates and shaving cream in the shower. It's progressed from there. I can't point to any particular "trigger" incident; it's just something that developed naturally over time.
I think it was around my early 20s that I began to accept water in my face and start to learn to swim, followed by accepting that I didn't have to remove mess *immediately* and could eat wings and ribs as finger foods. Around mid-20s, I began to notice sexual arousal for the first time when seeing messy people, and soon after the wet dreams began. I started searching out WAM videos on YouTube, and then in my late 20s I experimented with pieing myself for the first time with paper plates and shaving cream in the shower. It's progressed from there. I can't point to any particular "trigger" incident; it's just something that developed naturally over time.
No pics of myself for professional reasons.
I believe the answer to this really depends on how you define a fetish.
Fetish vs. Kink
A lot of the dictionary/medical definitions for a fetish is something someone finds necessary to get aroused. Whereas a kink is something that someone finds arousing but doesn't find it necessary to get aroused. You can make the argument that both these terms are part of a spectrum depending how much someone absolutely needs a particular thing to be able to become aroused.
But if you consider those separately then by definition the answers become: Whilst you can develop a kink in adulthood but you are very unlikely to develop a fetish in adulthood. Why is this the case? Well the dictionary definition of fetish requires you to be unable to find arousal without the stimuli. So to meet that criteria as an adult you would have to grow up and spend time as an adult not finding anything arousing in a world that loves to use sex to sell stuff, you will come into contact with or see many things other people develop fetishes for (in the case of WAM you may have seen gunge on TV or played in a muddy puddle when younger) without forming any arousal connection and then spontaneously find something arousing that you've no personal history with that could explain it. Whilst asexuality is a thing and I can't speak on behalf of those that are but I would suspect if someone who is asexual was going to have a fetish for something they'd have encountered it before childhood.
Whereas the definition of kink, finding something unusual arousing but not requiring it for arousal is absolutely possible for an adult. Hell I've discovered kinks in my adulthood that I've enjoyed, half the kinky BDSM community have all found and discovered kinks they enjoy. This is by no means an unusual thing.
Making Connections
The human brain is always looking to make new connections. It's often how we have ideas by connecting one idea or principle with another. It's how our brains associate the smell of a particular food with a memory when they used to have it when they were younger. It's why the brain can be triggered by seeing something connected to a trauma to result in PTSD (at least that's my understanding of it, having aphantasia myself the idea of flashbacks are totally alien to me even though others claim some of my childhood would qualify as traumatising). But anyway the brain makes no distinction between sexual and non-sexual things as it looks to make connections. Kinks and fetishes are just yet more connections between sexual arousal and something not usually associated with something arousing.
Psychologists have known about the phenomena of Misattribution of Arousal for awhile where scary situations lead to people getting more sexually aroused or find people more attractive. Some have postulated this connection between fear and arousal in the brain may be due to there being an evolutionary advantage for the survivors of natural disasters to want to get their freak on and re-populate in its wake. It is likely this very mental connection is the means in which the classical model of fetishism from those that grow up with it utilises this particular connection in that something that caused fear when younger becomes re-interpreted during the awakening of the sex drive in adolescence.
But it's not the only way connections can be made. Indeed a common erotic connection that is made is that with humiliation. When growing up around messages that demonise sexual desire whether that is because of religion, political beliefs or just general negative social messages an association between humiliation and arousal can be formed, especially if such messages lead to post-masturbatory shame. The brain just makes the mental connection between sexual arousal and humiliation such that things that then stimulate feelings of humiliation then also stimulate feelings of arousal. Just as smell can triggered earlier memories.
Erotic Themes
Having studied and explored a number of different kinks and fetishes I've noticed there are often underlying themes associated with many kinks and fetishes. If I were to take some of the archetypes recognised by the BDSM test and some of the play styles there are obvious parallels between Sensation Play and the different textures and temperatures of WAM substances. I reckon many wammers that enjoy mudlarking or wrestling in mess share something in common with people that enjoy Primal Play. The you've got the helplessness and being at someone else's mercy that being trapped in a gunge tank or sat above a dunk tank that are similar feelings for many in bondage.
If I had to breakdown my own interest in WAM into different underlying themes with which I've found other kinky things with similar themes arousing then the biggest theme or underlying factor for me is playfulness which in WAM manifests with the slapstick, messy games, pie/food fights and so forth. That playfulness has also meant I found I enjoyed playing with Brats, games of domination with switches, liking to roleplay, being an incorrigible tease with edging and orgasm denial and having an overwhelm urge to want to tickle anyone a tie up And then my second most important theme that I enjoy in WAM is the humiliation side. Indeed I have suspicions that society's disapproval of any feminine qualities in men is the reason I have some humiliation kinks around crossdressing. By suppressing them/my anima in my subconscious to be more like the man society was telling me it expected me to be that when that part of me pushed back to be expressed it came with the shame of not living up to those social expectations. Don't think it took much for the brain to connect post dressing and post masturbatory shame together whilst growing up. Whilst I'm totally past those issues now and happy to express either my masculine or feminine side but that doesn't mean the connections between being humiliated whilst crossdressing and arousal have also gone. I think once a connection has been made in the brain it can't be undone. Hence why fetishes and kinks tend to stay with people and people with PTSD can't just wish away the connection between a particular trigger and a traumatising memory.
I do occasionally wonder whether perhaps my kink to these themes may be primary or secondary to WAM itself as I still find making kinky wagers on games still arousing whether the forfeit is one of us getting sent to the gunge tank or whether it is something completely different that under normal circumstances I wouldn't find arousing. I put that down to my playfulness kinky theme. Meanwhile whilst there are a lot of messy games, slapstick style and messy humiliation scenes I enjoy some scenes I would expect to enjoy liking gunge and slime I find do nothing for me. For instance the popular YCDTOTV scenes on here do absolutely nothing for me and I put that down to the well-known trigger phrase and artificial looking up reaction being too scripted to for the liking of my playful dimension to my kink. If I have someone at my mercy waiting to be gunged I'm gonna be turning up the teasing to the maximum, hoping to get as much squirming as possible and letting the gunge drop when it is least expected Not when someone has cued me with a special phrase. But then other people's tastes are naturally different. Perhaps because they have a fetish for a specific source material or perhaps their particular combination of kinky themes they like place more emphasis on other factors than mine does.
Conclusion
Though from my experience of finding other kinks I enjoy and successfully introducing other people to the joys of sploshing I think being able to understand what they already like helps to know which parts of WAM to introduce them to as it means their brains have a smaller leap they need to make to connect that WAM activity to other kinks and themes that already have mental connections to sexual arousal. So if you're introducing someone that identifies as a BDSM Brat you are more likely to spark an interest if you introduce them to a slapstick scene of an authority figure getting pied followed by messy revenge and tit-for-tat than if you say introduced them to mudlarking first but if you're introducing an identified primal then the opposite is probably true.
Essentially think of it like a kinky Amazon style "We saw you liked this so you might like that" But yeah I've slightly gone off point but it is totally possible to develop new kinks and introduce people to new kinks if you think carefully about what might be similar to what they already enjoy to make the appropriate connections.
But can you get an adult to suddenly spontaneously develop a fetish in the dictionary definition of only being aroused by that thing then I think it's highly unlikely. They don't have anything their mind associates with being arousing at all to connect to. Now someone could try making the point perhaps they do find things arousing but were extremely repressed growing up but I doubt that would manifest without some personal internal struggle that looking back the person wouldn't later admit they did have feelings of arousal for something that they fought to suppress and that it would be a case of finding it in adulthood but actually taking much longer to admit what had developed around the usual ages.
Fetish vs. Kink
A lot of the dictionary/medical definitions for a fetish is something someone finds necessary to get aroused. Whereas a kink is something that someone finds arousing but doesn't find it necessary to get aroused. You can make the argument that both these terms are part of a spectrum depending how much someone absolutely needs a particular thing to be able to become aroused.
But if you consider those separately then by definition the answers become: Whilst you can develop a kink in adulthood but you are very unlikely to develop a fetish in adulthood. Why is this the case? Well the dictionary definition of fetish requires you to be unable to find arousal without the stimuli. So to meet that criteria as an adult you would have to grow up and spend time as an adult not finding anything arousing in a world that loves to use sex to sell stuff, you will come into contact with or see many things other people develop fetishes for (in the case of WAM you may have seen gunge on TV or played in a muddy puddle when younger) without forming any arousal connection and then spontaneously find something arousing that you've no personal history with that could explain it. Whilst asexuality is a thing and I can't speak on behalf of those that are but I would suspect if someone who is asexual was going to have a fetish for something they'd have encountered it before childhood.
Whereas the definition of kink, finding something unusual arousing but not requiring it for arousal is absolutely possible for an adult. Hell I've discovered kinks in my adulthood that I've enjoyed, half the kinky BDSM community have all found and discovered kinks they enjoy. This is by no means an unusual thing.
Making Connections
The human brain is always looking to make new connections. It's often how we have ideas by connecting one idea or principle with another. It's how our brains associate the smell of a particular food with a memory when they used to have it when they were younger. It's why the brain can be triggered by seeing something connected to a trauma to result in PTSD (at least that's my understanding of it, having aphantasia myself the idea of flashbacks are totally alien to me even though others claim some of my childhood would qualify as traumatising). But anyway the brain makes no distinction between sexual and non-sexual things as it looks to make connections. Kinks and fetishes are just yet more connections between sexual arousal and something not usually associated with something arousing.
Psychologists have known about the phenomena of Misattribution of Arousal for awhile where scary situations lead to people getting more sexually aroused or find people more attractive. Some have postulated this connection between fear and arousal in the brain may be due to there being an evolutionary advantage for the survivors of natural disasters to want to get their freak on and re-populate in its wake. It is likely this very mental connection is the means in which the classical model of fetishism from those that grow up with it utilises this particular connection in that something that caused fear when younger becomes re-interpreted during the awakening of the sex drive in adolescence.
But it's not the only way connections can be made. Indeed a common erotic connection that is made is that with humiliation. When growing up around messages that demonise sexual desire whether that is because of religion, political beliefs or just general negative social messages an association between humiliation and arousal can be formed, especially if such messages lead to post-masturbatory shame. The brain just makes the mental connection between sexual arousal and humiliation such that things that then stimulate feelings of humiliation then also stimulate feelings of arousal. Just as smell can triggered earlier memories.
Erotic Themes
Having studied and explored a number of different kinks and fetishes I've noticed there are often underlying themes associated with many kinks and fetishes. If I were to take some of the archetypes recognised by the BDSM test and some of the play styles there are obvious parallels between Sensation Play and the different textures and temperatures of WAM substances. I reckon many wammers that enjoy mudlarking or wrestling in mess share something in common with people that enjoy Primal Play. The you've got the helplessness and being at someone else's mercy that being trapped in a gunge tank or sat above a dunk tank that are similar feelings for many in bondage.
If I had to breakdown my own interest in WAM into different underlying themes with which I've found other kinky things with similar themes arousing then the biggest theme or underlying factor for me is playfulness which in WAM manifests with the slapstick, messy games, pie/food fights and so forth. That playfulness has also meant I found I enjoyed playing with Brats, games of domination with switches, liking to roleplay, being an incorrigible tease with edging and orgasm denial and having an overwhelm urge to want to tickle anyone a tie up And then my second most important theme that I enjoy in WAM is the humiliation side. Indeed I have suspicions that society's disapproval of any feminine qualities in men is the reason I have some humiliation kinks around crossdressing. By suppressing them/my anima in my subconscious to be more like the man society was telling me it expected me to be that when that part of me pushed back to be expressed it came with the shame of not living up to those social expectations. Don't think it took much for the brain to connect post dressing and post masturbatory shame together whilst growing up. Whilst I'm totally past those issues now and happy to express either my masculine or feminine side but that doesn't mean the connections between being humiliated whilst crossdressing and arousal have also gone. I think once a connection has been made in the brain it can't be undone. Hence why fetishes and kinks tend to stay with people and people with PTSD can't just wish away the connection between a particular trigger and a traumatising memory.
I do occasionally wonder whether perhaps my kink to these themes may be primary or secondary to WAM itself as I still find making kinky wagers on games still arousing whether the forfeit is one of us getting sent to the gunge tank or whether it is something completely different that under normal circumstances I wouldn't find arousing. I put that down to my playfulness kinky theme. Meanwhile whilst there are a lot of messy games, slapstick style and messy humiliation scenes I enjoy some scenes I would expect to enjoy liking gunge and slime I find do nothing for me. For instance the popular YCDTOTV scenes on here do absolutely nothing for me and I put that down to the well-known trigger phrase and artificial looking up reaction being too scripted to for the liking of my playful dimension to my kink. If I have someone at my mercy waiting to be gunged I'm gonna be turning up the teasing to the maximum, hoping to get as much squirming as possible and letting the gunge drop when it is least expected Not when someone has cued me with a special phrase. But then other people's tastes are naturally different. Perhaps because they have a fetish for a specific source material or perhaps their particular combination of kinky themes they like place more emphasis on other factors than mine does.
Conclusion
Though from my experience of finding other kinks I enjoy and successfully introducing other people to the joys of sploshing I think being able to understand what they already like helps to know which parts of WAM to introduce them to as it means their brains have a smaller leap they need to make to connect that WAM activity to other kinks and themes that already have mental connections to sexual arousal. So if you're introducing someone that identifies as a BDSM Brat you are more likely to spark an interest if you introduce them to a slapstick scene of an authority figure getting pied followed by messy revenge and tit-for-tat than if you say introduced them to mudlarking first but if you're introducing an identified primal then the opposite is probably true.
Essentially think of it like a kinky Amazon style "We saw you liked this so you might like that" But yeah I've slightly gone off point but it is totally possible to develop new kinks and introduce people to new kinks if you think carefully about what might be similar to what they already enjoy to make the appropriate connections.
But can you get an adult to suddenly spontaneously develop a fetish in the dictionary definition of only being aroused by that thing then I think it's highly unlikely. They don't have anything their mind associates with being arousing at all to connect to. Now someone could try making the point perhaps they do find things arousing but were extremely repressed growing up but I doubt that would manifest without some personal internal struggle that looking back the person wouldn't later admit they did have feelings of arousal for something that they fought to suppress and that it would be a case of finding it in adulthood but actually taking much longer to admit what had developed around the usual ages.
theStickyTrickster said: I believe the answer to this really depends on how you define a fetish.
Fetish vs. Kink
A lot of the dictionary/medical definitions for a fetish is something someone finds necessary to get aroused. Whereas a kink is something that someone finds arousing but doesn't find it necessary to get aroused. You can make the argument that both these terms are part of a spectrum depending how much someone absolutely needs a particular thing to be able to become aroused.
But if you consider those separately then by definition the answers become: Whilst you can develop a kink in adulthood but you are very unlikely to develop a fetish in adulthood. Why is this the case? Well the dictionary definition of fetish requires you to be unable to find arousal without the stimuli. So to meet that criteria as an adult you would have to grow up and spend time as an adult not finding anything arousing in a world that loves to use sex to sell stuff, you will come into contact with or see many things other people develop fetishes for (in the case of WAM you may have seen gunge on TV or played in a muddy puddle when younger) without forming any arousal connection and then spontaneously find something arousing that you've no personal history with that could explain it. Whilst asexuality is a thing and I can't speak on behalf of those that are but I would suspect if someone who is asexual was going to have a fetish for something they'd have encountered it before childhood.
Whereas the definition of kink, finding something unusual arousing but not requiring it for arousal is absolutely possible for an adult. Hell I've discovered kinks in my adulthood that I've enjoyed, half the kinky BDSM community have all found and discovered kinks they enjoy. This is by no means an unusual thing.
Making Connections
The human brain is always looking to make new connections. It's often how we have ideas by connecting one idea or principle with another. It's how our brains associate the smell of a particular food with a memory when they used to have it when they were younger. It's why the brain can be triggered by seeing something connected to a trauma to result in PTSD (at least that's my understanding of it, having aphantasia myself the idea of flashbacks are totally alien to me even though others claim some of my childhood would qualify as traumatising). But anyway the brain makes no distinction between sexual and non-sexual things as it looks to make connections. Kinks and fetishes are just yet more connections between sexual arousal and something not usually associated with something arousing.
Psychologists have known about the phenomena of Misattribution of Arousal for awhile where scary situations lead to people getting more sexually aroused or find people more attractive. Some have postulated this connection between fear and arousal in the brain may be due to there being an evolutionary advantage for the survivors of natural disasters to want to get their freak on and re-populate in its wake. It is likely this very mental connection is the means in which the classical model of fetishism from those that grow up with it utilises this particular connection in that something that caused fear when younger becomes re-interpreted during the awakening of the sex drive in adolescence.
But it's not the only way connections can be made. Indeed a common erotic connection that is made is that with humiliation. When growing up around messages that demonise sexual desire whether that is because of religion, political beliefs or just general negative social messages an association between humiliation and arousal can be formed, especially if such messages lead to post-masturbatory shame. The brain just makes the mental connection between sexual arousal and humiliation such that things that then stimulate feelings of humiliation then also stimulate feelings of arousal. Just as smell can triggered earlier memories.
Erotic Themes
Having studied and explored a number of different kinks and fetishes I've noticed there are often underlying themes associated with many kinks and fetishes. If I were to take some of the archetypes recognised by the BDSM test and some of the play styles there are obvious parallels between Sensation Play and the different textures and temperatures of WAM substances. I reckon many wammers that enjoy mudlarking or wrestling in mess share something in common with people that enjoy Primal Play. The you've got the helplessness and being at someone else's mercy that being trapped in a gunge tank or sat above a dunk tank that are similar feelings for many in bondage.
If I had to breakdown my own interest in WAM into different underlying themes with which I've found other kinky things with similar themes arousing then the biggest theme or underlying factor for me is playfulness which in WAM manifests with the slapstick, messy games, pie/food fights and so forth. That playfulness has also meant I found I enjoyed playing with Brats, games of domination with switches, liking to roleplay, being an incorrigible tease with edging and orgasm denial and having an overwhelm urge to want to tickle anyone a tie up And then my second most important theme that I enjoy in WAM is the humiliation side. Indeed I have suspicions that society's disapproval of any feminine qualities in men is the reason I have some humiliation kinks around crossdressing. By suppressing them/my anima in my subconscious to be more like the man society was telling me it expected me to be that when that part of me pushed back to be expressed it came with the shame of not living up to those social expectations. Don't think it took much for the brain to connect post dressing and post masturbatory shame together whilst growing up. Whilst I'm totally past those issues now and happy to express either my masculine or feminine side but that doesn't mean the connections between being humiliated whilst crossdressing and arousal have also gone. I think once a connection has been made in the brain it can't be undone. Hence why fetishes and kinks tend to stay with people and people with PTSD can't just wish away the connection between a particular trigger and a traumatising memory.
I do occasionally wonder whether perhaps my kink to these themes may be primary or secondary to WAM itself as I still find making kinky wagers on games still arousing whether the forfeit is one of us getting sent to the gunge tank or whether it is something completely different that under normal circumstances I wouldn't find arousing. I put that down to my playfulness kinky theme. Meanwhile whilst there are a lot of messy games, slapstick style and messy humiliation scenes I enjoy some scenes I would expect to enjoy liking gunge and slime I find do nothing for me. For instance the popular YCDTOTV scenes on here do absolutely nothing for me and I put that down to the well-known trigger phrase and artificial looking up reaction being too scripted to for the liking of my playful dimension to my kink. If I have someone at my mercy waiting to be gunged I'm gonna be turning up the teasing to the maximum, hoping to get as much squirming as possible and letting the gunge drop when it is least expected Not when someone has cued me with a special phrase. But then other people's tastes are naturally different. Perhaps because they have a fetish for a specific source material or perhaps their particular combination of kinky themes they like place more emphasis on other factors than mine does.
Conclusion
Though from my experience of finding other kinks I enjoy and successfully introducing other people to the joys of sploshing I think being able to understand what they already like helps to know which parts of WAM to introduce them to as it means their brains have a smaller leap they need to make to connect that WAM activity to other kinks and themes that already have mental connections to sexual arousal. So if you're introducing someone that identifies as a BDSM Brat you are more likely to spark an interest if you introduce them to a slapstick scene of an authority figure getting pied followed by messy revenge and tit-for-tat than if you say introduced them to mudlarking first but if you're introducing an identified primal then the opposite is probably true.
Essentially think of it like a kinky Amazon style "We saw you liked this so you might like that" But yeah I've slightly gone off point but it is totally possible to develop new kinks and introduce people to new kinks if you think carefully about what might be similar to what they already enjoy to make the appropriate connections.
But can you get an adult to suddenly spontaneously develop a fetish in the dictionary definition of only being aroused by that thing then I think it's highly unlikely. They don't have anything their mind associates with being arousing at all to connect to. Now someone could try making the point perhaps they do find things arousing but were extremely repressed growing up but I doubt that would manifest without some personal internal struggle that looking back the person wouldn't later admit they did have feelings of arousal for something that they fought to suppress and that it would be a case of finding it in adulthood but actually taking much longer to admit what had developed around the usual ages.
Fetish vs. Kink
A lot of the dictionary/medical definitions for a fetish is something someone finds necessary to get aroused. Whereas a kink is something that someone finds arousing but doesn't find it necessary to get aroused. You can make the argument that both these terms are part of a spectrum depending how much someone absolutely needs a particular thing to be able to become aroused.
But if you consider those separately then by definition the answers become: Whilst you can develop a kink in adulthood but you are very unlikely to develop a fetish in adulthood. Why is this the case? Well the dictionary definition of fetish requires you to be unable to find arousal without the stimuli. So to meet that criteria as an adult you would have to grow up and spend time as an adult not finding anything arousing in a world that loves to use sex to sell stuff, you will come into contact with or see many things other people develop fetishes for (in the case of WAM you may have seen gunge on TV or played in a muddy puddle when younger) without forming any arousal connection and then spontaneously find something arousing that you've no personal history with that could explain it. Whilst asexuality is a thing and I can't speak on behalf of those that are but I would suspect if someone who is asexual was going to have a fetish for something they'd have encountered it before childhood.
Whereas the definition of kink, finding something unusual arousing but not requiring it for arousal is absolutely possible for an adult. Hell I've discovered kinks in my adulthood that I've enjoyed, half the kinky BDSM community have all found and discovered kinks they enjoy. This is by no means an unusual thing.
Making Connections
The human brain is always looking to make new connections. It's often how we have ideas by connecting one idea or principle with another. It's how our brains associate the smell of a particular food with a memory when they used to have it when they were younger. It's why the brain can be triggered by seeing something connected to a trauma to result in PTSD (at least that's my understanding of it, having aphantasia myself the idea of flashbacks are totally alien to me even though others claim some of my childhood would qualify as traumatising). But anyway the brain makes no distinction between sexual and non-sexual things as it looks to make connections. Kinks and fetishes are just yet more connections between sexual arousal and something not usually associated with something arousing.
Psychologists have known about the phenomena of Misattribution of Arousal for awhile where scary situations lead to people getting more sexually aroused or find people more attractive. Some have postulated this connection between fear and arousal in the brain may be due to there being an evolutionary advantage for the survivors of natural disasters to want to get their freak on and re-populate in its wake. It is likely this very mental connection is the means in which the classical model of fetishism from those that grow up with it utilises this particular connection in that something that caused fear when younger becomes re-interpreted during the awakening of the sex drive in adolescence.
But it's not the only way connections can be made. Indeed a common erotic connection that is made is that with humiliation. When growing up around messages that demonise sexual desire whether that is because of religion, political beliefs or just general negative social messages an association between humiliation and arousal can be formed, especially if such messages lead to post-masturbatory shame. The brain just makes the mental connection between sexual arousal and humiliation such that things that then stimulate feelings of humiliation then also stimulate feelings of arousal. Just as smell can triggered earlier memories.
Erotic Themes
Having studied and explored a number of different kinks and fetishes I've noticed there are often underlying themes associated with many kinks and fetishes. If I were to take some of the archetypes recognised by the BDSM test and some of the play styles there are obvious parallels between Sensation Play and the different textures and temperatures of WAM substances. I reckon many wammers that enjoy mudlarking or wrestling in mess share something in common with people that enjoy Primal Play. The you've got the helplessness and being at someone else's mercy that being trapped in a gunge tank or sat above a dunk tank that are similar feelings for many in bondage.
If I had to breakdown my own interest in WAM into different underlying themes with which I've found other kinky things with similar themes arousing then the biggest theme or underlying factor for me is playfulness which in WAM manifests with the slapstick, messy games, pie/food fights and so forth. That playfulness has also meant I found I enjoyed playing with Brats, games of domination with switches, liking to roleplay, being an incorrigible tease with edging and orgasm denial and having an overwhelm urge to want to tickle anyone a tie up And then my second most important theme that I enjoy in WAM is the humiliation side. Indeed I have suspicions that society's disapproval of any feminine qualities in men is the reason I have some humiliation kinks around crossdressing. By suppressing them/my anima in my subconscious to be more like the man society was telling me it expected me to be that when that part of me pushed back to be expressed it came with the shame of not living up to those social expectations. Don't think it took much for the brain to connect post dressing and post masturbatory shame together whilst growing up. Whilst I'm totally past those issues now and happy to express either my masculine or feminine side but that doesn't mean the connections between being humiliated whilst crossdressing and arousal have also gone. I think once a connection has been made in the brain it can't be undone. Hence why fetishes and kinks tend to stay with people and people with PTSD can't just wish away the connection between a particular trigger and a traumatising memory.
I do occasionally wonder whether perhaps my kink to these themes may be primary or secondary to WAM itself as I still find making kinky wagers on games still arousing whether the forfeit is one of us getting sent to the gunge tank or whether it is something completely different that under normal circumstances I wouldn't find arousing. I put that down to my playfulness kinky theme. Meanwhile whilst there are a lot of messy games, slapstick style and messy humiliation scenes I enjoy some scenes I would expect to enjoy liking gunge and slime I find do nothing for me. For instance the popular YCDTOTV scenes on here do absolutely nothing for me and I put that down to the well-known trigger phrase and artificial looking up reaction being too scripted to for the liking of my playful dimension to my kink. If I have someone at my mercy waiting to be gunged I'm gonna be turning up the teasing to the maximum, hoping to get as much squirming as possible and letting the gunge drop when it is least expected Not when someone has cued me with a special phrase. But then other people's tastes are naturally different. Perhaps because they have a fetish for a specific source material or perhaps their particular combination of kinky themes they like place more emphasis on other factors than mine does.
Conclusion
Though from my experience of finding other kinks I enjoy and successfully introducing other people to the joys of sploshing I think being able to understand what they already like helps to know which parts of WAM to introduce them to as it means their brains have a smaller leap they need to make to connect that WAM activity to other kinks and themes that already have mental connections to sexual arousal. So if you're introducing someone that identifies as a BDSM Brat you are more likely to spark an interest if you introduce them to a slapstick scene of an authority figure getting pied followed by messy revenge and tit-for-tat than if you say introduced them to mudlarking first but if you're introducing an identified primal then the opposite is probably true.
Essentially think of it like a kinky Amazon style "We saw you liked this so you might like that" But yeah I've slightly gone off point but it is totally possible to develop new kinks and introduce people to new kinks if you think carefully about what might be similar to what they already enjoy to make the appropriate connections.
But can you get an adult to suddenly spontaneously develop a fetish in the dictionary definition of only being aroused by that thing then I think it's highly unlikely. They don't have anything their mind associates with being arousing at all to connect to. Now someone could try making the point perhaps they do find things arousing but were extremely repressed growing up but I doubt that would manifest without some personal internal struggle that looking back the person wouldn't later admit they did have feelings of arousal for something that they fought to suppress and that it would be a case of finding it in adulthood but actually taking much longer to admit what had developed around the usual ages.
Wow some really interesting points in there...thank you.
Makes me think about my messed up life and diagnosis', CPTSD.BPD, ASD, BP, EUD. I sometimes wondered if the things that I was exposed to as a small child have something to do with my Fetishes because everything else that's "wrong" with me is always put down to that in the views of my Doctors
Cinq X
Laci Green has a pretty good video on this as well. The general consensus is they form early, but can change and evolve. But they usually are based around traumatic events because they trigger similar areas of the brain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6r475SVD-RM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6r475SVD-RM
He's more potato now than man. Twisted and evil.
I wonder what trauma caused my green slime fetish. Maybe i should hire a hypnotist.
For Your Health!!!
DrSteveBrule said: I wonder what trauma caused my green slime fetish. Maybe i should hire a hypnotist.
There are some interesting articles on trauma and kinkiness and fetishes...
https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/The-Impact-of-Childhood-Trauma-and-Personality-on-Hillier/85aa83438b45f10c62c5ec1d3a006d6e25408f16
Cinq X
Potatoman-J said: Laci Green has a pretty good video on this as well. The general consensus is they form early, but can change and evolve. But they usually are based around traumatic events because they trigger similar areas of the brain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6r475SVD-RM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6r475SVD-RM
This chick is fucking cute. All I can think when watching the vid is.... how nice would it be to slime her.
Trouso said: My own tastes change and develop but they all hang on the same feelings that were imbued and hard wired very early in life.
Same. I realised very early in puberty that seeing people getting wet with their clothes on was an arousal trigger, and that's never changed. The range of clothes I like to see people doing it in however has expanded beyond all recogniton of the very limited range of things I liked at first, as has the range of situations for the wetness or messiness happening.
Cinq and Soug said: Can you develop a fetish ? I'm interested....
I always thought that you dont choose a fetish, it chooses you !
For me I was very young well before puberty and not understanding it as anything more than it made me feel good.
I always thought that you dont choose a fetish, it chooses you !
For me I was very young well before puberty and not understanding it as anything more than it made me feel good.
This. While it was at puberty I realised certain situations were arousing, before that I was aware that it somehow felt really good to watch (and dream of taking part in) such things.
theStickyTrickster said: Whilst asexuality is a thing and I can't speak on behalf of those that are but I would suspect if someone who is asexual was going to have a fetish for something they'd have encountered it before childhood.
I'm asexual - no desire to ever have sex with anyone else - plus a strong WAM fetish. When I was about 2 years old my parents had a farm, I wandered off one day and ended up stuck waist deep in a muddy part of a field. While I've no direct memories of it (I only know about it because mum told me years later) I do wonder if what I experienced that day is what triggered my love of WAM.
Saturation Hall - Forth! The Gungemaidens!
There are tales of partners at least "getting into" a fetish simply be ause they know hoe much their partner loves it. Therefore, one might assume with enough time they will begin to associate aspects of it (pies, slime, mud, etc) with sex.
It's just things from our childhood have built up over time and at critical moments in our development, so they have more of an impact.
It's just things from our childhood have built up over time and at critical moments in our development, so they have more of an impact.
I too - since becoming more open, at least on here - about my fetishes and kinks, have become properly fascinated with the whole sphere. I haven't had that many actual relationships, so I'm still unsure how to define it to myself (see TheStickyTrickster's excellent post).
I don't think I'm asexual, because I am interested in the idea of sex, but at the same time I'm also not bothered by not having it in the slightest. (I'm generally too busy to maintain a relationship - certainly when my last one finished it was actually a relief because fitting it around work, life and family was wreaking havoc with my health and mental wellbeing). I *think* I lean more towards demisexual as there are some people out there (well, three) I'm good friends with that I also fancy a great deal, and if I lived nearer to any of them, would have asked them out a while ago. Geographically things are against me there (eg one lives in the southern hemisphere).
Which is a long lead to say I really don't know if I have a kink or a fetish. I don't know yet if I need the wam elements in a relationship for it to function or not. Certainly I can go about life, meeting friends and working without it being an issue at all, so it's just an unknown.
Which means I also spend a lot of time thinking about all this instead. I've don't know/think I can connect my wam inclinations to trauma? It developed properly in my teens, but in those 25ish years since I've never once felt the need to be messy myself. I strictly like seeing it happen to others. (Whether that in itself is how it works for me - if it's happening to them it's not happening to me?) And some while ago now I figured out what I'm really probably into is humiliation, except my access for it is only through WAM, and people - okay, women - dressed in ridiculous costumes. No other way works.
The costume part of my kink - focused especially on the exaggerated baby apparel - interestingly came way later, closer to my mid-20s. I guess perhaps it was always there, but something you were far less likely to see "in the wild", as it were, growing up? Shows with gunge were everywhere, shows with women wearing oversized bonnets less so! It just simply occured to me one night to search for images of that, and there it was. It wasn't until more recently, thanks to some brilliant, lovely producers/models who are happy to work with my tiny niche of a niche, I was able to meld the two. But again, I can't recall anything happening when I was young that would have sparked this.
What it has done is make me understanding of and open to pretty much everything else that everyone else has got going on and I kind of love that. As that doctor tells Marge Simpson, it's all a rich tapestry!
I don't think I'm asexual, because I am interested in the idea of sex, but at the same time I'm also not bothered by not having it in the slightest. (I'm generally too busy to maintain a relationship - certainly when my last one finished it was actually a relief because fitting it around work, life and family was wreaking havoc with my health and mental wellbeing). I *think* I lean more towards demisexual as there are some people out there (well, three) I'm good friends with that I also fancy a great deal, and if I lived nearer to any of them, would have asked them out a while ago. Geographically things are against me there (eg one lives in the southern hemisphere).
Which is a long lead to say I really don't know if I have a kink or a fetish. I don't know yet if I need the wam elements in a relationship for it to function or not. Certainly I can go about life, meeting friends and working without it being an issue at all, so it's just an unknown.
Which means I also spend a lot of time thinking about all this instead. I've don't know/think I can connect my wam inclinations to trauma? It developed properly in my teens, but in those 25ish years since I've never once felt the need to be messy myself. I strictly like seeing it happen to others. (Whether that in itself is how it works for me - if it's happening to them it's not happening to me?) And some while ago now I figured out what I'm really probably into is humiliation, except my access for it is only through WAM, and people - okay, women - dressed in ridiculous costumes. No other way works.
The costume part of my kink - focused especially on the exaggerated baby apparel - interestingly came way later, closer to my mid-20s. I guess perhaps it was always there, but something you were far less likely to see "in the wild", as it were, growing up? Shows with gunge were everywhere, shows with women wearing oversized bonnets less so! It just simply occured to me one night to search for images of that, and there it was. It wasn't until more recently, thanks to some brilliant, lovely producers/models who are happy to work with my tiny niche of a niche, I was able to meld the two. But again, I can't recall anything happening when I was young that would have sparked this.
What it has done is make me understanding of and open to pretty much everything else that everyone else has got going on and I kind of love that. As that doctor tells Marge Simpson, it's all a rich tapestry!
Maybe the best example of that happening would be someone introduced to WAM by a partner, which then lights a fire under them.
I think there are examples of people like this that have maintained interest after a relationship has ended.
I think there are examples of people like this that have maintained interest after a relationship has ended.
While my interests, and they are several, go back far enough to make me think I was born with them, I didn't do much to recognize them as such until Feb. 1995. I was 32 years old and learned that I wasn't the only one who was like me. It was an epic moment that changed my life at least as much as my children. Possibly more if I want to be really honest about it. Every day since has been spent in pursuit of some aspect of my fetish interests. I've made friends, spent money, gone on adventures, done many things I never would have otherwise, and I'm still obsessing on it at age 58. If you consider 32 to be later in life then I have definitely been developing my interests non-stop with a passion like nothing else. My life is vastly different and we're not just talking about sex.
Dirty Job but I got to do it 20+ years. Thanks.
[quoteA lot of the dictionary/medical definitions for a fetish is something someone finds necessary to get aroused. Whereas a kink is something that someone finds arousing but doesn't find it necessary to get aroused. You can make the argument that both these terms are part of a spectrum depending how much someone absolutely needs a particular thing to be able to become aroused.
Wait, so you're telling me that by most dictionary/medical definitions, I've never had a WAM fetish at all - just a WAM kink? That is... uh, really illuminating. Because while WAM is awesome, I don't exclusively need it to get turned on. I have a growing list of additional kinks, and sometimes I'm just happy watching folks of various genders and sexualities fucking or jerking themselves off. Hm... that's a lot to think about.
Similar to others, I'd say my fetish - or, by the definition above, kink - has been with me since puberty, and probably even before. Certainly when I first started having wet dreams I assumed they were called that because it was when you dreamt about someone getting wet 
. But also like others, its morphed to some extent as time and experience has passed. My initial interest was probably purely "wetlook", but this changed into almost purely "messy" with time, taking in watersports and light bondage on the way.
. But also like others, its morphed to some extent as time and experience has passed. My initial interest was probably purely "wetlook", but this changed into almost purely "messy" with time, taking in watersports and light bondage on the way.
