I've had a few instances of guys saying "i love your pictures; i'd love to get you messy" and then when i reply and suggest meeting up they reply "ah, i cant mess you up after all because my wife and kids are around/got a pet dog all of a sudden/granny has moved in" etc.

Is this backing out of gungings a regular phenomenon? I'm starting to wonder if i am the problem?

This is extremely common, it's not you. In my experience only around 10-15% of people you message will actually set up and go through with a meeting. I hope you manage to set up an actual gunging.

No I've ran into cases with that too but even I've done similar. Sometimes it could just be their way on having anxiety of actually getting messy in person. Talking about it is fun but sometimes the idea of actually getting wet and/or messy in person can cause anxiety Personally when I plan to meet people for the first time I usually come up with those excuses due to anxiety but have gotten better with it and realizing it's not as bad as it seems. Hopefully you do get messy in person during a meetup. I actually enjoyed it and so far have done three year with more on the way. Hope everything turns out OK for you and if you need suggestions be sure to reach out.

Even in the distant reaches of the galaxy, where I live (Western Australia), there is no WAM community and even when I try to warm someone up to the idea, and they sound keen, they seem to bail/lose interest at the last second.

its normal on here now

I feel what your saying. As a guy who has pulled out of meeting with people here are the main reasons.

#1 Unable to confirm someone's identity or be certain they are a real person due to no/covered/fake profile pictures.This comes from people wanting to remain anonymous which I'm not critising. This makes meeting them uneasy since you can't verify their authenticity.

#2 Guys sending creepy messages. As a stright guy I'm not going to be confortable talking sexual to another guy. So once a guy makes a very creepy and sexual message without time to feel comfortable l doesnt make me keen to meet up.

#3 Age. Unfortunatly there are not many people active on here that are a similar age. I'm 25 I'm not keen to meet up with people in there late 30s and above.This might be preference but I find most people who wanna meet up are older.

Hope this helps!!!

If it's just after that opening comment, then perhaps the comment isn't to be taken too seriously? For example, I've said out loud before that "I'd love to be an astronaut" but it's not going to happen. Of course, if this is after an ongoing discussion about a meetup, then they're not playing fair.

Personally, I wouldn't back out of a meetup (or at least not without very good reason) but then I wouldn't start talking about it unless it's something I was going to go through with.

It happens all the time, Hell I've lost count to how many times it happened to my wife and I.