noise said: A gang of bank robbers took her hostage. The cops gave chase. They got away... but she caused a crash. When she came to, she'd lost her memory. An ex-con picked her up, mistook her for a fugitive, and shipped her to Istanbul. There she met some Afghan raiders who took her to steal some Russian warheads. But their truck hit a mine in Tajikistan. She survived, took to the hills, and became a Mujaheddin.
My money is the Kowalski's refuse to work with someone who'll eat borscht all their life in a hat like a tea cozy.
You see I heard that she went into the lucrative arena of otter farming. She had a shell, two otters and a paddling pool in the lounge of her flat in Skelmersdale, where she proceeded to breed them by subjecting them to candlelight and Aqua records, or so I was told. Once the otters reached adolescence they were released into the public sector to administrate things like window cleaners and the accurate use of Comic Sans.
Apparently Angel has quite the empire now, Otter R us or something. I think she's planning to take over the world at some point, but only if the tide is in. Otters are a bit rubbish on dry land.
I'll choose to believe your explanation though, because I don't like borscht one little bit.