ok, so, I had a few hours alone, went shopping, thought Cake Batter, won't ever do this again, what a fricken Mess !! I chickened out only after a few minutes, it was oozing out Everywhere, maybe, If I had a Week alone...

Sooo... contextually speaking it is hard to tell if this is in the fantasy perspective or if it is truly a gripe on cake batter. In the event it is a gripe I ask your preferred alternative because I find it to be absolute perfection. I mean, by the sounds of what you wrote it does give me a few suggestions before you wrote it off completely... first.. don't worry about mixing it like you're making a damn cake.. if you want to put eggs and oil in the mix then leave them to the side for additional things to dump on yourself. Like a bowl of eggs or if you are with someone else you can break them on each other...... and the oil is always going to be fun! Just make sure you don't wear clothing you care about. Then.... the next key is water. Change the temperature all you want to suit your comfort but I personally prefer warmer water. You have to mix it to consistency too so that means keeping a pitcher of water near you so you can use your whisk to mix it to the right gloopy consistency. This way if you like it thick you don't put a lot of water or if you like it a litter slimier then more water.. and feel it for clumps because they will slow you down later and thicken you up!! You can also use cake batter for pies!!! Yep! Tried and true many, many times cake batter with a smaller amount of water makes for a sticky thick pie that you can add any creamy substance to and make a pie to please your face!!! I hope this was an enjoyable cake battering tutorial.