yes, yes, so after 7 years together, and 5 years of marriage, the love of my life stumbled upon my collection of videos, and I had some 'splainin to do.

Of course, I've read all the forum posts about being honest and open with your partner about the topic, and starting slowly, etc... but maybe I guess I was subconsciously waiting for her to find out anyhow.

Either way, of course it went just fine. Same story as many, she loves me and is willing to oblige, although it is not a personal fantasy of hers. (yes, yes, I know everyone who's open about their fetish with their partner is thinking "jeez, you should have told her years ago.)

So anyhow, I gave her a brief history of WAM, explained a few things that I liked and didn't like, and what other people out there liked and didn't like. I figured - just dive in headfirst at this point, theres no purpose to drizzling a little chocolate syrup on her during sex and seeing how she reacts, so I just told her straight up how I like to see girls getting pied/slimed.

All in all, it went just fine, as I knew it always would, but never had the huevos to bring up.

But it brings me to my actual question:
She is definitely willing to indulge, and I think it will be awesome, and we'll both have a great time, but...
Realistically, it will be difficult for us to make the space/time around our house, with a toddler, and full work schedules. Then, there's the whole "how the hell to clean up this mess?" situation. So we discussed going to one of those more "adult" themed hotels (Sybaris, in the chicago area, if you're familiar), where the have plenty of room and large jacuzzi tubs and showers. (and I'm sure are more used to the idea of people getting down to crazy kinky action during their stay.).

Supposing however, that we aren't able to set that up for a few months yet - does anyone have any advice for having a 2 person wam session at home in a fashion that is discreet and won't cause so much clean up? Bathroom is the obvious choice, but the bathroom attached to the master is rather small and only has a single person shower stall, and the second bathroom is where all the kid's stuff is. Would be wonderful to just send Junior off to Grandma's house for a weekend, but Grandma lives a block away and is likely to show up at any time.

Sorry for such a long post. Wife and I had the convo a few hours ago, and it does feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

1) Give the kid to grandma, tell her you need some "adult time" and not to call unless it's an emergency.

2) Move all of the kid's toys out of the tub. Set out all the paper towels and garbage cans and other cleanup stuff within reach ahead of time.

3) Go to town.

enjoy,
-PYP

"...in the beginning Messmaster created UMD....

....God created man in his own image and called him Adam who promptly pied Eve"

End of History of WAM!!

It's best it's all come now. No more hiding your dirty little secret!!

I'm currently working out the same kinda logistical concerns (minus the kid and the full time job, of course). But as for the room, I'm looking at a bedroom that I can "Dexter" up. For people not familiar with the show Dexter: clear the centre of the room, strip the bed down to a mattress (optional), cover bed with plastic separately, and then cover the walls and floor.

A lot of those painters plastic covers end up being 6 feet wide and come in 25-50 foot rolls for a very reasonable price (definitely way less than $20 per roll). As for post-fun clean up: get a garbage can and a garbage bag and strip the room. All of your mess will be collected in the plastic and deposited in the garbage can.

Potentially hard part is disposing of the garbage back itself, but you just have to get creative with your local surroundings for that. Restaurant dumpers are key.

Hope that helps!

Step 1) Find a babysitter for a day because because mom and dad are having some adult time away from home. Grandma should understand this.

Step 2) Buy some plastic drop clothes from Ace Hardware

Step 3) Go shopping at Jewel, Dominic's, Costco, Sam's Club, etc.

Step 4) Get a room at Motel 6, Red Roof Inn, Days Inn, etc. Here's a place I've used:

Red Roof Inn Chicago - South Barrington
2500 Hassell Rd
Hoffman Estates, IL 60195


Step 5) Have fun. Make a day of it with all the restaurants, shopping and theatres in the area.

-RSR

I relate 100% to the mess/toddler deal.
We used to indulge quite a bit, but here is what I'd say: as your wife will be new to this, you may want to keep it simple at first anyway and not overdo it, you can always build up the more she grows accustomed to and relaxed w/it.
Either make some pies out of shaving cream, or buy a pie or two at the grocery store. Put a towel down on the bathroom floor, and have her sit, or you can sit, and pie each other and rub it all over each other, then wherever it leads...
shaving cream is easy clean up, just throw your towel in the laundry, jump in the shower. As you two get used to it and figure out what works and what won't, you'll get a better feel for how much mess you can get away with and you'll get more creative.
As far as with the little one, we'd wait till they were asleep, and then have at it. That's also part of the deal w/keeping it simple, do it in the bathroom. If they wake up, just jump in the shower and clean up. If your kid sleeps well, you're set. If they wake up a lot, then you've got other issues.
Hope it goes well!!

If your interests are broad enough to include simple wetlook, a relatively innocuous way to bridge the gap is to start by asking her to wear something nice while joining you in the shower. In the early weeks of two different relationships, I got positive results by initially explaining only that wet clothing was a special turn-on for me. For most people, being drenched is a more familiar experience than being covered in goo or hit with pies. Also, cleanup is as simple as getting the wet garments into a dryer. Making love to a woman in a wet blouse or dress is legitimately kinky, but requires less of a stretch on the part of a non-WAMmer than really messy foreplay would. After we had already had fantastic showersex while my girlfriend was in a nice dress, talking about human sundaes or even a romp in the mud became a less radical leap for her.

Of course, if a good soaking is not especially exciting for you, then you should proceed directly to what does do the trick. Consider establishing a safeword if you are with the sort of partner inclined to say things like "no! Stop! Quit it!" without really intending to send a hot moment into the deep freeze. Sploshing a girl against her protests can be especially thrilling, but it becomes a real violation if those protests were meant to be taken seriously. Having a safeword clarifies what could otherwise become an ambiguous situation.

Also, what others have said about time is largely sensible. Perhaps the simple solution is just to inform your parents/in-laws that you as a couple would appreciate a window of guaranteed private time. You could simply explain it as "trying for another baby" (which typical grandparents would happily support) rather than "broadening our sexual horizons." If it really is impractical to get a long stretch of time behind locked doors in this way, then you probably should investigate child care alternatives for the sake of maintaining a thriving sex life.

Regards,
messydom

Here are a few more suggestions for doing this, based on my own experience:

1. If you have the cash, buy a single thick painter's tarp -- think 20 x 20 or larger. It's much easier to control the mess that way as you can just roll everything inward and you don't have to worry about leftover goo slipping between two overlapping tarps and onto the hotel room floor.

2. Buy yourself a box of drum liners. Drum liners, for the uninitiated, are thicker, larger black plastic garbage bags designed to fit inside oil drums, etc. A rolled-up tarp full of goo and pie plates is always a little too big to fit inside a standard trash bag.

3. If you're in the Chicago area, don't bother with Jewel, Dominicks or other retail grocery stores, especially if pies are your thing. Look for a Sara Lee Bakery Outlet -- you'll be looking at $1 to $3 per pie as opposed to $7, you can buy in bulk, and there are additional discount coupons available on line. You can get a lot more mess for your money and they're used to people buying in bulk so it somehow seems less weird... which, if you're having your first WAM session, may help ease your nerves.

Perfect advice. I'm sure Grandma would understand, and having clean-up supplies within arms reach is rather handy. The only thing I would add is a small space-heater for the bathroom that you're going to play in (start heating the bathroom about 20 minutes out to make it comfortable in case you plan on throwing some whipped cream pies on her while she's naked or scantily clad), and don't forget to mix the cake batter with warm water to make it less offensive/more enjoyable for the both of you, but especially her as it's her first time. Go slow and don't be afraid to explain to her what you like so much about each thing as it progresses, whether one or both of you get messy. My wife loved how I explained to her why I thought she looked good in certain types of food during different stages of a wam session. Good luck!

I agree with Closet. For us, it didn't matter if they were toddlers or teenagers...after midnight seemed to work the best...except you're tired the next day!

Good luck!

PGKay

Thanks all for the advice. I'm sure we'll be able to have good times!

I'd also add in the "keeping it small" advice. This is a new thing to her and to you (at least doing it with a partner based on what you wrote and asked). Just start with 2-3 pies, maybe some slime. Keep her feelings in mind. She might actually be uncomfortable or even nervous about it so ease her into it but still have fun.

Good luck.

First of all congrats and welcome to the club.
I can tell you what I did with our first all out WAM session, don't know if it will work for you but maybe it will help. Three houses ago I took a spare bedroom that was simply decorated for guests and moved everything out one morning when I knew she wouldn't be home for a while. Took down wall hangings, moved the bed out and some smaller furniture. I had a huge roll of plastic painters drop that you can get from Home Depot or Lowe's, three houses later and many paint jobs (and one big WAM session), and there is still plenty left. I coverd the entire floor, walls, and even thumb tac'd it to the ceiling (except I went around the light fixture). I had bought one of those large inflatable kiddy pools and filled it will 10 gallons of sugar free choclolate pudding. I then layed old towels on the floor leading from that room to the guest bathroom. I also placed some extra towels and two 5 gallon empty buckets outside of the room. Our oldest was a toddler at the time and I had arranged for a couple that is a close friend of ours to watch him that day. Long story short, she came home, I "warmed" her up, we got naked, I blind folded her and led her down the hall to our new adventure. Anyway, we had the time of our life and we both loved it. After we were done we wiped as much pudding off of each other as we could into the pool. I grabbed the two buckets and we scooped as much pudding as we could out of the pool and into them. Then I grabbed the clean towels outside of the room and we wiped our feet off as much as possible just incase it might go through the towels that were on the floor that we walked on to the shower. We cleaned our bodies, got out and I poured her a glass of wine and told her to go relax while I took care of everything. I went back into the room, deflated the pool, bundled it up and walked it out into the garrage along with the buckets. I then pulled all the plastic off the ceilling and walls and balled it up with the one on the floor. After I was all done the towels went into the wash and the pool and buckets where hosed off out in the yard away from the house. We couldn't find a single speck of pudding anywhere. Not bad for a guy that isn't a hitman. Anyway, whatever you do, I hope the two of you have fun. Let us know how it turns out.

My advice... don't suprise her with a Dexter room...

My advice: Have several UMD'ers send her messages, and share their WAM fantasies in detail. This will get her hooked!

Or post some clean video of her on YouTube, asking for public comments on how she should get messy. Then send her the link!

And if you do that, make sure she wears white socks!

How about starting with something very simple. Take a bath with her, and have her wear her clothes in the tub, perhaps.

Or STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM YOUTUBE AS YOU CAN!!

Stay. Stay away. Make it between you two only, and have some low-key fun.

no worries folks, I've been visiting the umd since its inception some 15 years ago or so, and am no stranger to the trolls out there.