In just a year's time the Olympic Games come to London. Doubtless there will be a spectacular spectacle of sport and achievement, but there's something missing - none of the games are wet or messy enough!

I've thought of a few new sports that should be included in the London and future games and put them in the poll below, anyone got any other ideas for great new wet and messy Olympic sports?

About the poll sports

• Uniformed Mud Wrestling is exactly what it says, though there could be both solo and tag-team versions. Womens uniform would be smart knee-length skirts and polo-shirts, mens would be polo shirts and knee-length shorts. Bare feet throughout.
  
• The 20' Fully Clothed Hose-Down would see teams of two people, a "receiver", in full formalwear standing on a podium above a swimming pool, and a "drencher" in sportswear standing 20' away, with a fire-hose. Teams would play against each other, one team's drencher attempting to use their hose to knock the other team's receiver off their podium. When the other team's receiver falls into the pool the remaining one's team wins the round, but the soaking would continue for the winner and additional points would be awarded for how long they remained on their podium while both drenchers were firing at them, with an automatic vertical flip of the podium after 30 seconds if they survive that long.
  
• Competitive Trouser Filling would see team members in tracksuits tucked into rubber boots having their trousers filled by their team mates, the objective being to fill as fast as possible, and with as much gunge as possible, front and back, without any spillage. There'd be womens and mens events.
  
• The 200' Mud Slide Race would see teams of three players at a time, one in a spandex catsuit, one in a floor-length dress, and one in a jumpsuit, throw themselves down an artificial slope 200' long and with a 3' deep coating of tidal clay from Bristol, against the clock. The winner would be determined both by speed of descent and coverage of mud - so a slightly slower team that came down totally covered would beat a faster one that only had their fronts muddy. There'd be both womens and mens races, with the same three costumes prescribed for both sexes.
  
• Synchronised Pie Throwing would see mixed teams set up with "receivers" and "throwers". Throwers would then aim to deliver custard pies to specific target areas on the receivers in a synchronised, choreographed series of moves done to music, much like ice-skating. Costumes would resemble those used for ice-skating too. Target moves which would all need to be included in each dance would include full and direct hits to face, chest, back, bottom, abdomen, legs, and a pie-sandwich. Once the first dance had been completed, and without allowing any clean-up, positions would be swapped and the erstwhile receivers would get to pie their throwers.

That would be one way I'd watch the Olympics

If I remember rightly some time ago Playboy did a messy olympics vid

It was the Playmate Playoffs in 1983. There is an old video on this. I think there was a Playoffs in 1984, but not sure if there was a video.

I would like to suggest Women's Mud Soccer, where the participants wear over-the knee fashion boots, and either 2-piece bikinis, or mini-skirts with t-shirts that show bare midriff.

The mud on the field is 18" deep, except in the center box and penalty areas, where it is 2 feet deep, and the goal area where is is only 12" deep. The consistency of the mud must be at minimum thick and soupy, but may be thick, wet and sticky gumbo.

Instead of a coin toss, there is a one-pin mud wrestling match in the center box to determine the winner.

The goalie may engage in wrestling the ball handler in the penalty area to take away the ball. Only goalie and ball handler may engage in wrestling.

Well, we've done 2 Messy Olympics vids inspired by Playboy's Playmate Playoffs. Why do I suddenly have the urge to do my best Rodney Dangerfield "I get no respect..." impersonation? LOL.

http://umd.net/download_info/messy_olympics_2010_part_1

http://umd.net/download_info/the_original_messy_olympics

They aren't quite as ambitious as what has been descibed. There's always that small thing known as a budget interfering with the massive production...