Hi messy people

Just browsing the classified ads (bored... at work, you know how it is)

There are a LOT of guys looking for girls to get messy with. Does it ever work?

The chatroom was full of girls last night, so there must be some around.

Just curious, because I get messages asking how to find a messy girlfriend and I don't really know how to answer that!

I would say... find a nice girl, and if she loves you, and has any ability to have fun... then she would probably be open to a bit of messy stuff

But, start off with sexy smoochy chocolate sauce, romantically drizzled over her or something. Don't fill her panties with mushy peas on the first date

Tara....

There isn't a week that goes by where I don't email about this from all over the world.

Your answer is right on target. Find someone with whom you can develop a great relationship first. THEN work into a WAM relationship. It really is that simple. The second you seem like you are "obsessing" over it.....she will take off running.

Robby
WAMma Lamma Pie
www.wammalamapie.com

www.shepiestheguy.com

That is unless you both strangely share the same obsession. This is rare.

That's what my girl and I have. She was always into the sweeter stuff so we started with that and moved into the savory, etc. She always had an interest for getting pied and caked, that's actually how we hit it off.

Rumor has it every now and then it works. Never has for me.

The forums I can't speak for. What I can say is that my fiance and I started out much as those who have comment here already. She was a bit shy when we first began dating, so I started with the sweet, romantic chocolate sauce kiss from her neck/cleavage. We have since devoloped full blown pie sessions.

Well it worked for Steve!
Before I met him, I knew nothing of getting messy in any shape or form.
Now look at me... pretty much been doused, drowned and smeared in every goo going



Must be love

I actually posted some time ago, to the effect - find a girl first, and get her used to it slowly. Making it fun helps.
In real life I've seen girls going into fountains, lakes , the sea , fully or partially clothed. Seen girls getting pied, slimed, and dropped in dunk tanks.#
They all seemed to enjoy it a LOT. I think it's in us all. Just a question of dropping the right hints into your relationship, and as you say Tara, taking it slowly. Shame about the mushy peas though

Well, I've only once had any luck finding a messy partner through the forums. Not with a view to a long-term relationship, simply a messy meet-up. Both of us had non-wamming partners, so it was the ideal opportunity to indulge while knowing there was no ulterior motive.

It would almost certainly be too hopeful to expect a second similar stroke of luck. In my business, you really want to avoid flying pigs.

Hi Tara,

I get a few messages a week here from guys looking for some insight as to how to meet a gal to WAM with. Just chiming in to agree that I think it's helpful to find someone you really like and who is into you first, before springing the fetish on them, and then introducing it slowly.

The first time Mr. Bigshipper told me he wanted to throw pies at me, I blinked in astonishment! "You want to do what?" I asked. "Why?"
I'd never heard of such a thing. Look at me now!




Cheers,
Mrs. Bee

Your all wrong, soon as you meet a chick just ask her if she wants to get covered in pudding and fuck after some beers... works every time.

What if she doesnt drink?

Then your in trouble or better have a good plan B LOL

I've been wandering around Fetish-Land for 11 years now, and what you just said is actually exactly how it goes in real life.

It is love, and love has paved the way.

When a couple shares a fetish or a kink, generally, it's one half who's always had the yearning and the other half has never heard of such a thing and then, is introduced to it.

In fact I've just about never seen it go any other way at all.

It's pretty hard to meet a lifelong WAMmer just like yourself. One, most people with a lifelong kink don't advertise it, but secondly, there aren't enough WAMmers to go around anyway. There just ain't a high chance of two people who have always wanted to do exactly the same WAMmy thing to meet at random.

What you do works because a relationship has happened FIRST.

It's not like the ads never, ever work, but mostly -- no, they do not.

That is because they ask, usually with no introductory remark at all, "Does any girl want to do this with me?" and you can't tell one other thing about the guy except that he wants a gal to slam him up with 80 pies while he's tied to a chair or something...

...and most women don't want to just run out and do something like that with a guy they not only don't know but...gee, they don't even have a picture of him!

There's another factor too.

Even if two people did randomly meet and discover, "Oh, wow, you too? I don't believe it! I've had this fetish all my life too!" what nobody here who posts an ad is considering is that a relationship is much more than sex.

First, you have to have physical chemistry...women definitely open up to guys they actually lust after BUT...

Second -- they also have to be able to live together. It's stuff like, what kind of jobs do you have? Who pays what part of the rent? Do you want kids, or not, and how many, if yes? Do you agree on stuff like values and religion? And if you want to get married, what do you think of your in-laws?

I don't disclose details of my private life but I will tell you that no man who would abhor the idea of me having some kind of warm furry pet could be installed in my house even if he wanted to sink in quicksand (that's my thing, quicksand) with me eighty times a day.

And every man I had as a mud partner was a friend. Nobody I found out of Fetish-Land ever was my boy friend nor did they live with me -- geesh, they didn't even live in the same state! But we took the time to build a friendship before we got together.

And I did know exactly who they were, and that I trusted them, and that we liked the same stuff, and that we got along well other than just at a mudpit.

The idea of going to a mudpit with a guy I don't know or don't really like or, worst of all, wants me to do things that I don't like just leaves me cold. Period.

I do go to mudpits by myself, and I did it today in fact; it is much more fun than going with a mud partner that is not compatible with me or my likes.

My advice to men who post ads is to find a woman and make friends with her at least...and then, once she likes him, THEN see if she is open to it.

Nessie

I agree lol

You're in better luck, though, if she tells you that alcohol deadens the senses and that's why she wants to do everything stone cold sober.

I don't drink now at all. I used to, though. And it was habitual...and it was too much.

But a mud trip? It was the one thing that made me banish every drop of the stuff. Every mud partner of mine (who drank, anyway -- not all of them did) heard it from me.

"Now, NO beer at the bog! I need to remember this -- forever!"

Nessie

I've been and still am messy from the age of 13 till now age 54! I was alone for a lot of those years. I met a woman who was 18 years old and I was 19 years old. I never told her my fetish of Shaving cream, extremely heavy make-up, etc. As the relationship grew I and she let our walls down about sex. We tried to make each other happy, and there were times I crossed lines too soon. She didn't run, and I made her happy in the ways she wanted( since my story, her secrets are mine, sorry!)
She makes me happy being messy within her confront zone. I didn't have to go to a personal ad about wam, I lucked up and took 34 years to get here, and I wish for more(after looking at pictures on the forums) but I'm glad I get what I get, and No One get's all!! Hope you truly find Your One!

This. (well, insert your fetish ____ if it isn't pudding.) And if she doesn't drink, she's of no interest to me anyways.

Most of the responses have compared keeping your fetish a secret and telling on the first date.

I'll go ahead and suggest an alternative possibility: anyone who would date you should know long before they ever consider dating you.

Allow me to explain.

There is not a day in my life when I am not around people who are talking about sex. Both people I know and people I am just passing by.

Sometimes this is direct, such as about sex they've actually had or about how it's been two months since they last had sex so they really want to have sex.

Other times, this takes the form of references to sex, sex in general, imagery of sex, because sex is undeniably a part of their culture.

Sex is never a secret, because it is the default assumption. Or, what I mean to say is, "the possibility of someone at some point in their lives wanting to have sex with someone else" is never a secret, because it is the default assumption.

You may take this for granted, but it's worth explicitly pointing it out: people don't have to come out about wanting to have sex. They have to have a discussion about when they want to have sex with a specific person, but the wanting in general is not surprising.

That's two things that non-fetishists have which fetishists don't have:

1) The ability to casually talk about the thing that is your fetish, as both a sexual and non-sexual thing,

and,

2) The ability to not have to talk about the thing that is your fetish, because it is already assumed without you saying anything.

When bringing up your fetish at all seems like an obsession, it is because we don't have those two things.

And so one thing we can do to prevent this perception is to claim those things that other people take for granted, and one of the ways we can claim them is by being open about our fetishes all the time, to everyone we can.

Usually a fetish doesn't get to be a background assumption like sex does, but by being completely open about it, it will be a part of the background information about you.

Then it won't be a surprise if you ever talk about it, and it won't end up being a surprise later if you hardly ever talk about it.

Instead of keeping a secret until the time is right, never let your fetishes be secrets in the first place.

I've been doing this myself for a while now - letting my fetish be background information about me - so I'll say how I went about it.

When I got tired of the double standard where everybody else could talk about their interests all the time and mine was expected to be a secret, I went down to the craft store and got some cord and a pack of beads with letters on them.

I used the beads to make myself a pair of bracelets. On my left arm, the bracelet spells out "FETISHIST". On my right arm, it says, somewhat sappily, "SLIME - PIE - LOVE - WAM". (I'll attach a picture of them to this post.)

And then I just started wearing them any time I went out. I didn't have to directly talk about my fetish; I didn't have to bring it up, though I could if I wanted to. All I did was let it be background information for people to notice and accept.

And as I spent time around my friends like usual, eventually they each would notice what it said. And when I'd meet someone new, eventually they would notice what it said.

Some people would tilt their heads over to read the letters, get a confused look on their face momentarily, and then go back to the conversation like normal.

Some people would ask what my fetish was. Sometimes I simply tell them "messy things" and list some substances as examples. Sometimes I tell them the abbreviation and tell them they can look it up if they want. Sometimes I give them the whole explanation about why I choose to be open about my fetish.

And I can tell you - I haven't lost a single friend since I started wearing my bracelets. Most people take it in stride. Some probably don't understand why I put my fetish out there, but they don't avoid me because of it.

The "don't keep it a secret" approach has many of the same benefits as the "keep it a secret" approach. In both cases, the people around you still get to know you as you, as the regular person you are everyday. They see you as you are, and see that you just happen to be a fetishist.

The only friendships you would miss out on are those with people who are scared away by even the mention of fetishism. I can't say that no one will have that reaction, though the people I know haven't had that reaction.

I do think that anyone who would have so adverse a reaction that they wouldn't even want to know a fetishist - probably isn't at a good point in their life to be friends with a fetishist or to be in a relationship with a fetishist. They may change their mind over time, and if so, that's great. If knowing you helps someone change their mind, that's great. But you aren't personally responsible for changing everyone's mind at your own expense.

Even someone who has a strong belief that fetishes should be secrets should be able to respect you enough to accept your decision to be open. If not, you deserve a better friend anyway.

Now, even though I'm suggesting the possibility of being open about your fetish - you know your own situation better than anyone else. If you think it would get you in too much trouble, maybe it isn't the solution for you, or maybe you'd need to be more selective about the situations you are open in. For now, I personally choose not to risk wearing my bracelets on the job or around family, even though it wouldn't be the end of the world if they found out.

And even though I chose to make something to wear as my way of being open, something different might work for you. An accessory is useful in that you don't have to directly bring up the topic, but casually telling a group of your friends, or something else, could work as well to let your fetish be a piece of background information in the way most people take for granted.

(1)

Whie thats so cool!

Good on you bud