"Curried, caked and creamed. Clothes cut off to nude masturbation"

I'm sat in the bath in a shirt, tie, and trousers, before decorating myself with tins of curry, smashing a chocolate cake to my face, and topping myself off with 2 cans of whipped cream. Naturally, this all gets smeared in, covering me and my shirt in the mixed-up goo, before I get too tempted by the close-by scissors and cut the outfit to shreds, finishing with a messy masturbation to climax.